


Never the Same

by shannyfish



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Advice, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Avengers Family, Baby Names, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Feels, Captivity, Cemetery, Depression, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Drunkenness, Emotional Roller Coaster, Evolution, Extremis, F/M, Fake Character Death, Forced Pregnancy, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Henry Stark, Hulk Feels, Hulk Smash, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Natasha is a fic ninja, Nightmares, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Violence, POV Bruce Banner, POV Pepper Potts, POV Tony Stark, Parent Pepper Potts, Pepper Feels, Pepper Potts Feels, Pepper-centric, Plans for World Domination, Post-Iron Man 3, Protective Bruce, Protective Hulk, Protective Natasha, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-Con Mentioned, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, SHIELD, Science, Science Bros, Science Experiments, Science Husbands, Snarky Jarvis, Sophia Stark, Stark Industries, Stark Tower, Suicidal Thoughts, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Tony Being Tony, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Doesn't Like Being Handed Things, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-22 14:50:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 76,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aldrich Killian is not dead and he still wants Pepper.  He wants a future in which he rules the world with her by his side.   Things don’t go as planned.  Killian must adjust his plans in order to still take revenge against Tony Stark.  Takes place after “Iron Man 3”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She'd Die There

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Mention of Non-Con
> 
> Please check the tags. I will update them as I add more chapters. 
> 
> There are elements of this story that I know are close-ish to “From the Ashes”, but I’m trying to make them different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at shannyfish11 (dot) blogspot (dot) com

“There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

. . .

 

The first month had been the hardest. He came into her room everyday…and he’d tell her that they were going to change the world. He’d tell her in detail how he was going to kill Tony as he held her down. Every night she’d cry herself to sleep after praying to God that Tony would come to take her away.

To take her home.

Tony never came.

Pepper would spend her days pounding on the sealed glass window that led to high grass as far as she could see until it finally hit mountains. The glass didn’t give or break no matter what she used against it. It just wore her out and she just ended up in a sobbing heap.

That day he didn’t come for her…

That day she decided even if he’d left her alone this one time that she’d much rather die than live like that. Even if she’d managed to escape, Pepper didn’t think she’d make it. If she’d been able to make it past the guards that she knew patrolled then she’d be exposed to the chilly temperature at night. She’d pressed her hands to the thick window material and at night it felt like ice. 

She’d die out there.

She’d die in there.

Better out there than in here, she thought.

She didn’t eat that day.

She didn’t drink.

At night when sleep overtook her and her eyes were too tired and red from crying, Pepper dreamed of Extremis. Pepper wished when she woke that she hadn’t asked Tony to ‘fix her’. At least if she had Extremis she would have strength. At least enough to come close to somewhat even things out when he tried to touch her again.

She’d die in there.

The next day he didn’t come. She still didn’t eat or drink anything. Pepper spent all of her time curled up with a pillow in her arms in bed as she stared out the window.

She’d die in there.

“Tony,” she whispered as tears fell. “Where are you?”

She’d die in there.

. . .

 

“They tell me you’re not eating or drinking or moving.”

She just stared at him.

“Pepper,” Aldrich said and for a moment, he almost sounded sad. His fingers ran through her hair. “Are you going to eat something? Or drink some water?” His voice was gentle, but that didn’t matter to her.

Pepper wondered as he watched her if he thought he’d broken her. He hadn’t. If she was too weak to move she thought he’d continue to leave her be, no matter what he had to do outside of where they held her. Pepper was fairly sure that there wouldn’t be any thrill in it for him if she wasn’t struggling under him.

“Pepper, you need to say something,” Aldrich told her.

She didn’t.

She just stared back at him.

He let out a sigh and shook his head. “I don’t want to have to hook you up to tubes and machines, but I will…”

Pepper just continued to lay there, silent and unmoving.

“Say something!” This time his anger was apparent. He wasn’t hiding it.

She didn’t.

He moved away from the bed. Pepper silently watched as he paced with his hands on his hips. He was fuming and she wondered how ‘hot’ he was getting. He stopped and pulled in breath and turned back to her. Killian kneeled back down in front of her. His hand was caress her cheek and then his fingers moved to run through her hair again.

“I understand that this has been difficult for you,” Aldrich said. “Maybe you’re wishing that you had Extremis still in your system… I’ve looked into it. You could die…and I’m not prepared to lose you.”

He paused and she wondered if he expected her to answer or respond in some way. Pepper remained silent.

Killian sighed again and stared at her for a long time before opening his mouth again. “You’re pregnant…” he said before a smile spread across his face. “A child that shares out DNA…and Extermis… I had hoped to tell you when you were in a more cooperative mood… Now you understand why I can’t let you do this…” He sighed. “And I hope…in the coming months that you’ll grow to love me… That you’ll be willing to stand by my side through my campaigns… That you’ll help me kill Tony Stark.”

“I hate you,” Pepper said slowly and with as much venom as she could muster.

Even though she’d finally said something, the rage and anger of Killian’s smack hard across her face replied to her. Her lip split and she could taste the blood. She didn’t care. Killian could end her life. End all suffering she or this unborn child he insisted she was carrying came to term would come to have to face now.

“I will never love you.”

Smack.

“You will never be Tony Stark.”

Smack.

“You will never be a hero.”

Smack.

“He will come and he will kill you.”

Smack.

Smack.

Smack.

Killian let out a scream as he moved away to pace again. Pepper just lay there unmoving. The pain seeped into every pore and fiber of her being. He could have killed her, but no matter what…he would never be Tony Stark. Aldrich Killian would never be the man that she loved. The world would never see him as a hero. The world would never be conquered by him. Not while Tony was still out there. Not while there were Avengers…

He let out a laugh. “Is that what you want, Pepper? For me to be the villain in all of this?” Killian fumed for a moment. “I’m sure you’re thinking that I must be… I just came close to beating to death the woman I love and that’s carrying my child… Women and love. They drive men to do terrible things… Ugly things… Things they wouldn’t have ever done otherwise…”

Pepper just lay there, still silent and unmoving. She didn’t elicit a sob and she didn’t let a tear fall. 

“They’re going to come in now,” Killian told her. “They’re going to rehydrate you and push the proper nutrients into you… And when I come back in a couple of days, I’ll expect an apology.” Killian moved in and kissed her bruised face. “But until then…I have a beast to hunt.”

 

. . .

 

They had completely strapped her down and hooked her up to a hospital bed that they rolled into her bare room. She was hooked up to too many things. Monitors beeped, things dispensed, and Pepper just felt like she was dying. 

She’d die in there.

Pepper thought of no one but Tony. She thought of nothing but home. Killian hadn’t come back and Pepper was thankful. She wasn’t apologizing to him. Her thoughts of escape were gone. There was no way with the amount of people she’d have to get past and then the local climate. 

She had tried to keep track of how many people had come in with medical backgrounds to assist her in some way, but had lost count. There were three shifts as far as she could tell and at least two per shift, a nurse and a doctor. There were others though, she’d noticed, physical therapists and different specialties that she wasn’t sure about. Pepper knew that she had no idea how many guards there were. She knew there had to be more than the four she’d seen. Killian would have fortified the house they were in and the land they were on.

“You’ve got to be feeling a little better,” one of the nurses said. It was the nurse that always talked to her. Pepper tried to remember what she’d said her name was. She’d always sit in there and talk to her or read to her even though she wouldn’t speak back. “I’ll be honest. I don’t know what’s going on here… It seems like that man is running a cult or something, but the truth is…I still have to pay bills…and you still need the best care.”

Pepper wondered how he found these people. Did they have to sign some sort of nondisclosure agreement? Did they know who she was? Her name and face had been plastered all over all kinds of media for some time because of Stark Industries… She didn’t know how they wouldn’t know her. The woman always sounded like she had an accent, though. It was sounded southern or midwestern. She didn’t know. 

“You know, we should find a topic that you’d be interested in…” the nurse finally said. She was older. Pepper was sure that she was in her sixties, but when the woman spoke of her children she’d always pictured them as five. She didn’t know why. “You’re obviously not too interested in your vitals…or neonatal care…and I read you that chapter from my harlequin romance last week…didn’t even get a monitor spike.” The nurse studied her for a moment. “You seem like a no nonsense kind of woman… You get the job done. Maybe you prefer world events? I could read from the paper tomorrow… Would you like that?”

“Business,” she whispered before she could even think about it. 

“The business section?” the nurse asked as if she hadn’t heard her right. “That’s not very interesting at all… But if that’s what’s got you talking to me… I’ll bring it tomorrow. I’ll read you a whole week’s worth tomorrow if that’s what you fancy.” She leaned over closer to her. “And don’t worry,” she said in a conspiratorially whisper. “I won’t tell them you said anything. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“I’m Pepper,” she whispered. 

“I’m Agnes, in case you weren’t listening the other times I told you,” she told her good heartedly. “And I’ll tell you what even,” Agnes went on. “If you’re good enough to be on solid foods…I’ll bring you some of my homemade cookies even. Best in the whole state! I won a blue ribbon for them! You need some fat on those bones of yours!”

Pepper just pushed forward a polite smile. She really wasn’t looking forward to having to eat again. Obviously, Killian wasn’t going to give up or let her go so easily. She supposed that at least life had its small graces even in when the world was ending… Agnes seemed like one of them. 

It was stupid, she knew. The smallest link she could get to Tony was the papers. The business section. Stark Industries. She just hoped there was something in there besides the stock information. She was concerned about the stocks, but not as concerned as she was if there was other news out there. 

 

. . .

 

They’d pushed her into ‘getting better’. It hadn’t helped anything. She’d been told that she had better color, but they wanted her to spend some time outside in order to restore more of it. Pepper liked that idea, but then at the same time, it was going to be a tease. The feeding tube had been removed two days before along with the IV and the leads they’d had connected to her before. She’d been on a liquid diet and they kept promising her solid foods, but she didn’t think she was ever going to get it. Though she hated it, she was hungry and she wanted real food. They’d removed the medical equipment and all that remained was the bed, a nightstand, and a chair. 

“Guess what? Today’s practically your birthday!” Agnes went on.

Pepper didn’t understand any of it. 

It wasn’t her birthday. She might know what day it was…but she hadn’t lost that much time. 

“They’ve given me some clothes here for you, some practical shoes,” Agnes went on as she set the bag on the nightstand in the room. “And it gets better! I brought cookies!” She was practically bouncing and oozing sunshine. “AND! We get to go for a walk outside!”

Pepper just stared at her for a long moment. The older woman’s cheery attitude wasn’t contagious, but rather made Pepper feel a little sick. She was sure that if circumstances were different that she’d be cheery, but they weren’t…she was still very much in hell. 

“The sun’ll do you good! And before winter sets in!” 

A set of clothing and a pair of simple black slip-ins were pushed into her hands as she sat on the bed quietly. She stared down at the clothes and tried to tell herself that it would be good. She’d be able to get out into the fresh air and there might be a breeze… 

“Don’t just sit there!” Agnes chided. “I’ve brought you the business section and read it to you for a week now… You’re going to do this and you’re going to put a smile on your face! And then when we get back, I’m going to sit with you and eat something solid…and then you’ll get a cookie.”

She felt like she was three. Pepper hated it, but she felt bad after Agnes had been so kind to her. She got to her feet and moved to the bathroom. At least she could pretend to feel like she was a human being. She’d felt like death warmed over, a vessel being kept alive to grow Aldrich Killian’s child… She knew it was her child too, but it was still so hard… Of all the people in the world, he was not one that she’d ever hoped would be the father of her child. 

She took her time and Agnes seemed even more irritated by it, but she didn’t care. She was still a little uneasy with her balance. Pepper blamed the lack of solid food in her system. “I’m dressed…” she announced with little enthusiasm.

“Where’s my smile?”

Pepper sighed. “I thought that was for when we were on our walk.”

“We’re going right now, so you might as well put it on.”

So, she pushed forward a smile for Agnes. 

“You can do better than that.”

Agnes was really going to give it to her today. So, she tried to push a better smile into place. It was hard keeping it there though, she was so miserable. Agnes took her arm and knocked on the door and told them that they were ready. Four guards escorted them from her room to the field outside. They’d passed seven more in the house and there were even more stationed outside. 

She’d die there.

After they were away from earshot of the guards, Agnes patted her hand. “Tell me about your life beyond here…”

“When I’m not being held captive?” she asked with a sigh.

“Yes. The world you lived in that made you smile.”

“I’m the CEO of Stark Industries… I run the company…”

“And you have a man in your life?”

Pepper swore that wherever they were, those people were living under a rock. “Do you know who Tony Stark is?” When Agnes just looked confused, Pepper tried again. “Iron Man?”

“Is that some kind of rock band?”

“No,” Pepper said quite seriously. They were living under a very big rock. “He’s famous… He saves people… Stark Industries is the company that his family started.”

“He’s a good man?”

“Yes,” she whispered and suddenly her chest felt heavy with homesickness. How she missed him. How she missed his smart remarks. She even missed his lack of respect for her schedule and their commitments. “And he’s out there looking for me…”

“This man, Mr. Killian, he seems very sweet…” Agnes said. “When he’s not yelling of course…”

“He’s not!” Pepper suddenly snapped. She pulled away from Agnes and took a few steps away from her before covering her face and letting lose tears and sobs. The last word in the world that described Aldrich Killian was ‘sweet’. Agnes’ arms were around her, she was guiding her head to her shoulder, and she was shushing her and telling her that things were going to be okay. “He raped me…” Pepper whispered through her sobs. “He raped me and got me pregnant…and he beat me…and he expects me to apologize and love him.”

The sound of Agnes’ voice was drowned out by an awful roar. Something that wasn’t animal…but it wasn’t human either. Agnes clung to her and the guards all moved in the direction that the sound had come from. Agnes started to tug at her, to pull her in the opposite direction, but Pepper pulled away and started off in the same direction as the guards. 

There was something that drew her…

Something familiar…

Something she wasn’t supposed to know…

And when the form came into view, for a brief second, she thought she was going home. He was giant, angry, green, and he seemed to have been sent from above. The Hulk. She’d seen video before and she’d met Doctor Banner, but never his ‘other half’. He was Tony’s best science friend, they hadn’t known each other for long but it was like they were brothers. 

“Pepper! We have to go inside! Please,” Agnes pulled on her. “It’s not safe! Not with that monster!”

The beast…

Killian had said that he was going to hunt a beast… 

He meant this.

He meant Bruce. 

He meant the Hulk.

“He’s not the monster,” Pepper told her and pushed Agnes’ hold from her. She approached and no one seemed to being paying any attention to her. 

They’d seemed to have brought him here in some kind of armored truck…but not the kinds for banks that hauled around cash. This one was different and Pepper was almost certain that it had been specially made. What was Killian thinking? The Hulk was dangerous. He was an Avenger…but he could do damage. He couldn’t be controlled by anyone, but Bruce…and even that was fairly new. The fact that the Hulk seemed to be confused was worrying her more. That’s when she realized why…the men that were closer to the Hulk had some kind of animal dart guns. They looked large, she didn’t know if they were intended for something else…big. 

And then it hit her. Killian was all about Extremis. He was all about control and making things perfect. 

What if…

“No!” she screamed at the top of her lungs and she was running towards the Hulk without thinking. “Stop!” she continued to scream. 

The Hulk turned to her and he suddenly looked so sad. 

Her heart broke and more darts shot him and hit him. She was certain that it had to have been something specially designed. It wasn’t an easy feat to contain and take down the Hulk. Tears were streaming anew down her face. Where were the others? Why wasn’t Tony there? Natasha? Clint? Steve? Any of them? They were supposed to look out for each other. 

“Bruce!” she called and tripped, her hands dug into the earth. When she looked up, the angry green mass was closing the distance between them and she suddenly worried. What if Bruce wasn’t in control? The Hulk looked mad again. An angry Hulk wasn’t good for anyone. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to make herself small and invisible. 

Nothing happened.

She looked up and he was swatting the guards away like they were flies. He was still swaying though. It was like he was drunk. Pepper realized that he was shielding her from harm. She watched in horror as he suddenly toppled and fell to the ground in a angry heap. He was roaring and she moved to his side. She moved to his head and stroked his hair and whispered to him. “I’m here, Bruce…” 

And then the lies started. 

“Tony’s going to be here… The others… They’re coming…” she whispered through her tears. His eyes, no matter what form he was in, they always were the same. Readable. She knew that he didn’t believe her. Pepper knew then that Bruce must have known better. He must have known more than she knew. 

The mass of the Hulk started to shrink and his skin started to change from green to a pale pink. Pepper moved and lifted his head so that it rested in her lap. She ignored the guards that were surrounding them. The threat was gone right now. There was no need for guns. She continued to stroke his hair. “Bruce, you’re going to be okay,” she whispered and leaned over to rest her cheek against his. The first familiar person she sees in over a month and Killian is trying to use him in some way against Tony, she was sure. 

She could hear Killian coming, he was arguing with someone else. They were talking about her. They were talking about how she shouldn’t have been there and how they should have already removed her. She didn’t care. She wanted to be there with Bruce. She wanted to be close to someone who wouldn’t beat her. She wanted to be close to someone who had a soul. “Wake up,” she whispered as tears continued to fall. 

He arm was yanked up and she screamed out. His hand was on her ribs below her breast as he pulled her back with his other hand. He was hauling her to her feet and Pepper was half worried that he was going to break her arm. Just what she needed. “You weren’t supposed to be here,” he growled at her.

He was the monster.

Pepper turned in his hold. With her free hand, she slapped him hard across the face. He looked pissed for a moment and then oddly amused. He started to laugh and then slapped her back, hard enough to send her to the ground alongside Bruce. She was almost used to it, to the pain that he didn’t seem to be able to keep from inflicting on her in some form. She expected it. 

“Pep,” she heard Bruce whisper.

She saw his eyes open and looking at her, full of worry and almost apology. Pepper reached out for his hand, but she was quickly removed. “No!” she screamed and kicked and flailed against the hold of the guards.

“Make sure she’s not harmed,” she heard Killian tell them.

Apparently it was okay to hit her if it was him. Pepper kept hoping that Bruce would get up, that he’d ‘Hulk out’ as she’d heard Tony refer to it, and take her away. She looked up to the sky and prayed. For the first time in so long, she hoped that he’d appear. 

He didn’t.

All night, she stared out the window, waiting. 

He never came.

None of them came.

 

. . .

 

“They all think you’re dead,” Killian told her. “That’s why Tony hasn’t come for you… That’s why SHIELD isn’t looking for you…”

“You’re lying!” Pepper told him.

He remained calm and it pissed her off even more. “I can find your obituary in the paper and bring it to you if you like. I went to the funeral. The service was beautiful. Everything was lovely… It was elegant and fitting royalty.”

She still didn’t believe him. She moved away from him and walked to the window and stared out. Pepper crossed her arms over her chest and wished him away even though she knew that it wouldn’t happen. “What are you going to do to Bruce?”

“You mean the beast?”

She could hear amusement in his voice, but she didn’t turn to look at him. She was sure that he was smug and oh so confident of himself. “What did you do to him?”

“I had something similar to Extremis designed, but it helps me in controlling him… Nothing you should worry about.”

“He’s my friend,” she whispered.

“And now he’s your guard dog.”

Pepper turned to him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That I can never be too careful,” he told her. He looked irritated. “Stark’s gone off the deep end… He’s drowning in grief… He’s self-destructing… And while that’s fine for me, I still need to ensure that I keep you protected.”

“I don’t need protection from Tony,” she told him quite seriously. 

Killian was smirking as he approached her. “Pepper,” he said with an all too sweet voice. His hand was on her arm, but she pulled it away. “You’re carrying another man’s child… Do you really believe that Tony Stark would be okay with that? Do you think that he’d welcome you home with open arms and allow you to keep my child?” 

She just stared at him. None of that had been anything she’d been worried about. Pepper had only worried about how she was going to get out of that hellhole. She’d watched the skies and prayed and hoped… Nothing had come of any of it. Pepper didn’t even know what to feel about the baby. She was still deep in denial about it. She didn’t feel like she was pregnant. No morning sickness. Nothing that you heard about. She’d missed her period, she knew that…but maybe that was something else? Pepper just didn’t want to think about it. 

For a long time, silence passed between them. 

“I want you to leave,” she told him sharply.

“Okay,” he told her and rested his hand on her arm again, and again she pulled her arm away.

“I want you to leave me alone. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want you to come in here. I don’t want you to talk to me—“

“Pepper, I thought we were going to make up when I came back,” Killian told her.

“No.”

“Now, Pepper…”

“Nothing’s changed, Killian. I don’t love you. I never will. I’d rather die than be part of whatever twisted picture you have in your head,” she told him, venom dripping from every word. She waited for him to hit her. It always came. Pepper could see the anger building up in him, but she watched as he pushed it back down and took a step away from her. A little surprised, she just stood there and watched him.

“Hormones are already hitting you,” he told her. “No wonder we’ve been having so many problems… Now, you rest up… Agnes will be back tomorrow. She was a little shaken up. She told me to tell you that she left the cookies on the nightstand and she wants to hear about what you think about them tomorrow.” He acted as if this was just something completely normal between them. He was really blaming hormones for everything? Pepper didn’t understand it. Was he that crazy? That twisted? 

 

She did the only thing she felt like she could do. She walked away. With nowhere to really go, she retreated to the small bathroom and locked the door. Holding in her sobs and her tears and her screams, she sank down between the toilet and the door. Pepper covered her mouth and just listened. She heard him leave and she waited. 

Once she was certain that he was gone, she got to her feet and stripped down. She climbed into the tub/shower combo and sat in the bottom as she ran the shower. She sobbed and let the tears flow. She screamed into her hands and rocked herself. 

She wanted it to end.

She needed it to end.

She’d die in there.

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	2. She Wanted To Die

There were no more doctors. She figured that Killian must not think that they needed them for a while. Instead, he had Agnes come everyday. Agnes made her take the pills. The prenatal vitamin and the calcium and whatever else they sent in. Agnes would stay for at least a few hours and talk with her. She always talked, even if Pepper didn’t respond. She was fairly sure that she would keep talking until she finally said something. 

Pepper had other things to think about.

Today, the reminder was loud and insistent as it interrupted Agnes’ reading. She’d gone back to reading her novel since Pepper had stopped paying attention. “And then his hand traveled downward—“

The scream echoed throughout, breaking Agnes’ concentration and her will to read on. When Pepper looked over at the older woman, she looked shaken. It was blood curdling. There was something almost primal about it. 

She couldn’t cry. 

Inside, though, there were tears. 

“That’s my friend,” she whispered. “Killian’s torturing him.”

“The beast?” Agnes asked in shock.

Pepper got angry. Why didn’t she understand? “He’s not a beast! He’s a man! He’s a doctor… He didn’t ask for any of this… He didn’t ask to be the Hulk… It was an accident,” she told Agnes. It didn’t seem to change the older woman’s mind. Pepper had seen the footage of the Hulk, but she always thought of him as Bruce. Good, sweet, and gentle Bruce who was far too patient for his own good and willing to listen to Tony go on about anything. That was the man they were torturing…

Pepper moved from the bed and sat in the corner, tightly positioning herself with her knees to her chest as she closed her eyes and covered her ears. The screams continued and permeated through her fingers and into her ears. Agnes’ gentle hands where on hers and when Pepper opened her eyes, she was crouched in front of her. 

“He’s a strong one, he’s going to be okay…” Agnes whispered.

“No one deserves to go through that…”

Agnes’ words were muffled, but she could hear them even still with her ears covered. “Sweetheart, you can’t get stressed by this… It’s not good for you or the baby.”

“I don’t care about the baby!” she screamed at Agnes and as much as she wanted to cry, the tears didn’t come. 

Agnes looked so sad suddenly. “I’m going to go and leave you to have some time to yourself,” she told her. She ran a hand along Pepper’s cheek as she continued to stare at her. “I know you care…you’re just still upset… Once it’s more real for you, you’ll do anything for that child… You wait and see…”

Pepper couldn’t fathom that. She still didn’t believe that she was pregnant. Her body didn’t feel differently. She didn’t think she looked different. Pepper knew that it was horrible of her, but she’d rather the baby died before it made it too far, if she were pregnant. She didn’t feel like she’d be able to protect it if it were born… She didn’t think Killian would spare it any of his anger. That was no environment for a child. 

“You’re going to be a good mother,” Agnes whispered before finally leaving her alone with the screams.

 

. . .

 

Agnes didn’t come the next day and Pepper didn’t move. The screams had continued throughout the night and Pepper had been worried that since they’d finally stopped…that if she moved they would start up anew. She wasn’t sure how much more she could bear. Her chest was heavy and tight. 

The door opened and Pepper expected it to be Agnes, that she’d just been late… It wasn’t. She pushed herself to her feet and approached him. She was slow at first and then quicker. He opened his arms for her, but she ignored him and just hit and kicked at him and screamed. 

“How can you do this?!” she screamed.

“And here I thought you were going to be happy to see me,” Aldrich told her and pushed her back with the ease of his hand to her chest.

“He’s a good man!”

“I’ve seen the footage, Pepper… Let’s not be naïve…” 

She went at him again, but she was no match to his Extremis strengthened body. He took her by the throat this time and shoved her against the nearby wall, but didn’t release her. Pepper struggled for breath. 

“I’m sure you’re wondering where dear Agnes is…” 

Pepper just continued to attempt to pull air into her lungs. She clawed at his hands and her legs kicked, but didn’t make contact. 

“Poor old thing… She was so shaken up… She needs a few days off… I told her I’d make sure that you had someone to come in here and talk to you,” Aldrich told her. “I figured that you’d be exhausted after last night… I know you didn’t sleep… None of us slept actually… The beast was unruly…”

The edges of her vision started to turn black and she couldn’t move her legs and her arms dropped to her sides. This was it. He was going to kill her. He was going to end it. The black was getting heavier around the edges and then he suddenly dropped her. She curled up on the floor as she struggled to fill her lungs with air and then a whimper escaped her lips. 

She wanted to die. 

“This isn’t going to be easy for you if you keep this up, Pepper,” Aldrich said as if she’d done something horrible. He was standing over her, staring down at her. “I could have you easily just used like an incubator… I thought that maybe you’d settle once you’d been here long enough… You need to accept this, Pepper…”

“No,” she whispered as she stared up at him.

“I’m going to have to go away again…only for a day…and when I come back you better have a better answer, Pepper,” he said with seriousness in his voice. “I want to keep you for myself, but that child…I care about it much more than I care about you… It’s going to be a better human… It’s going to be the next step in evolution and I won’t have you putting it into danger…” He crouched down and she could see the effects of Extremis. He was angry enough for his eyes to glow an orange-red. “I will have them strap you down, hook you up to life support, cut that child out of you once it’s time, and then leave you there to bleed out…”

A shudder ran down her. Pepper didn’t want that, but she didn’t want this. How she wished he’d let her fall to the floor… What could she do? 

She wanted to die.

“Don’t make me kill you, Pepper,” he whispered dangerously before straightening and leaving her alone.

 

. . .

 

She dreamed of Tony for the first time since she’d gotten there. He was all full of smiles and laughter and he held her. His love was so vivid and tangible. His arms around her, that was home. Even though she’d known it was a dream when she woke up, the words he’d spoken to her couldn’t escape her thoughts. He’d told her that she was going to be okay. He’d told her that Bruce was there and he’d keep her safe until he could get there. 

Pepper finally dragged herself out of bed and froze when she’d pushed the covers back. There was blood and she panicked for a moment. Her nightgown had a fresh blood stain and she was certain it had gone through to the bed. 

It was like reality had finally slapped her in the face. Was she pregnant? Had she been? Had she miscarried? Would Killian kill her now? Her mind raced and spun and she started to feel sick. Pepper pulled the covers back up like she was making her bed to cover it before hurrying to her bathroom. 

The contents of her stomach heaved up and were deposited into the toilet. Pepper sat there for a few minutes longer just to be sure. She couldn’t let anyone see the blood, she realized. Killian might decide that he could do just as he threatened by getting her pregnant again. She wasn’t going to go through that again. 

“You can do this,” she whispered to herself and started to strip out of the nightgown and out of the panties. She set them in the sink and told herself that she could wash the blood out of them once she’d showered. She’d work on a way to get rid of the blood in the sheets and bed after. Right now, she just needed to feel clean. 

The door to her room opened and closed while she was in the bathroom. She didn’t worry about it. It meant that breakfast was there. Killian was gone and Agnes wasn’t coming back for days. Everyone else would leave her alone. She’d get meals and that would be the extent of things. Pepper knew that that would give her plenty of time to clean and dry things. She was wrapped in a towel and was furiously trying to work to get the blood out of her nightgown and panties when she heard humming. 

Agnes.

She froze and tried to think of what to do. Pepper hadn’t expected her. Killian had said that she needed a few days. Pepper had expected her to take those days. She tried not to panic and dropped the nightgown and panties into the bottom of the shower/tub and dropped an extra towel over them to cover them. She rinsed the sink and washed her hands before opening the door.

“Oh my—“

It felt like she was going to pass out. When she’d opened the door, there Agnes was stripping her bed. She’d found the blood and she looked like she was about to scream.

“Please don’t say anything,” Pepper pleaded in a whisper.

“The baby—“

“Please…”

“A doctor has to look at you,” Agnes said quietly with all the kindness in the world.

Pepper broke down and collapsed in the doorway. “He’ll kill me…or worse,” she forced out through the sobs that were hitting her. “He’ll rape me until he can get me pregnant again… He’s already told me he’s going to hook me up to machines and use my body until I come to term…and then he’ll just let me die…”

Agnes was shaking her head as if in shock. This poor woman was not ready for the horrors that she’d had to face and would probably still face under Aldrich Killian’s employ. “You don’t know what could happen to you if you don’t see a doctor…”

“Please…”

Agnes just gathered the bedding like she hadn’t heard her and left the room.

Pepper stayed in the doorway and waited for her fate. She knew it was coming. 

She wanted to die.

 

. . .

 

To her surprise, it wasn’t Killian or Agnes who walked through the door first. The guards had instead shoved in Bruce. He looked confused and then she could see his confusion turn to fear and worry as he took her in. She hadn’t moved. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Her life was forfeit. It was just going to take longer than she’d wanted.

The guards left them and Bruce approached her slowly. “Pepper…” he breathed.

“They’re going to kill us both,” she whispered. 

Bruce nodded. “I know.” He crouched down at first and then sat down beside her. “It’s good to see you… You’re supposed to be—“

“Dead?” she finished. Killian had been telling the truth. Tony wasn’t out there looking for her. No one was coming for them. “I wish I was…”

“Pepper—“

“You don’t know,” she whispered and he was pulling her into his arms. At first she tensed up, but then it was so comforting. She relaxed and practically collapsed in the safety of his arms. She cried for a long time and he let her. She cried in the safety of his arms. He wasn’t Tony, but he still felt so safe to her…and though she didn’t know him well, she trusted him so deeply.

“There was an older woman who told me she was your nurse,” Bruce said. Pepper wondered if he’d waited to speak until he thought she was ready to hear him. 

“Agnes,” she whispered.

“She said you were pregnant, but she thinks you miscarried because of blood she found in your bed.”

“He’s going to do it again,” Pepper told him in a hushed whisper as she stared at the world beyond the window that was across from them.

“What?”

Pepper turned and looked at him, tears still in her eyes. “He raped me… He got me pregnant… He says I’m carrying the next step in evolution…” She couldn’t hold it together at the end. She covered her face with her hands. “And Tony-- Tony isn’t even looking for me… For us…”

“He expects me,” Bruce told her and pulled her close. “But not for another month.”

“He’ll have hooked me up to machines by then… I might as well be dead,” she told him. And though Bruce was there for the moment, she still wished for death. 

“Let me look at you,” Bruce requested quietly.

Pepper shook her head against him. She didn’t care. She didn’t care what happened. If she was lucky she’d die. If she was lucky it would all be over…

“Pepper… Please…”

“There was blood… That’s what it means, right?” she asked. Pepper knew that Bruce was a doctor, but was fairly sure that he wasn’t an OBGYN, but was sure that the basics were taught in medical school nonetheless. 

“Not necessarily,” Bruce told her. “And it could indicate something wrong with you.”

“Something that would kill me?” she asked all too calmly.

“Possibly…”

“Let it.”

“Pepper—“

“I can’t have him touch me…”

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t,” Bruce told her softly. They stared at each other for a long time. Bruce’s hand was on her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin lightly. The first feeling of comfort she’d felt in a long time. “Pepper…please don’t leave me here alone…” 

And she could see the fear in his eyes. Whatever Killian had done, Bruce Banner was afraid. She remembered Tony talking about how the Hulk couldn’t be killed by normal methods, but she wondered if Killian had cracked that with whatever he had done to Bruce. “What did he do to you?” she asked in a whisper.

Bruce shrugged. “Something that’s keeping my body from transforming into the Hulk… Which, is really a blessing and a curse…” he told her honestly. “He’s trying to get into my head, though…”

“He means to control you,” she whispered. “For you to protect us from Tony.”

“I’d like to pass on that.”

Pepper smiled a little bit at his humor in their situation. “I’d like to pass on a lot of things that are going on right now.”

“But right now, can you please let me look at you?” he asked. 

“Isn’t that really wrong?” she asked quite seriously for a moment. “You’re one of Tony’s best friends—“

“I’m still a doctor, Pepper…”

“Will you tell by just examining me?” she asked curiously. 

“There’s something called the Chadwick’s sign. Your mucosa turns dark blue or purple after about six weeks of pregnancy because of the increased blood supply… But I won’t be able to tell if there’s still a heart beat without doing an internal ultrasound. Both aren’t going to be comfortable…”

“After what I’ve been through, I think I can handle it,” she whispered. “But if I’ve lost—“

“He’s not going to touch you,” Bruce told her. Both of his hands were on her face now as he stared at her. His brown eyes were so comforting and warm and made her miss home so much more. “I promise you that, Pepper… I wish I could fulfill that promise by letting the big guy smash him into the ground, but that’s going to have to wait…”

“Bruce,” Pepper said quietly. “I’m sorry he brought you into this…”

“It’s not your fault.”

“He brought you here to protect us…to protect me…”

“It’s not your fault,” Bruce said again. “And I’d much rather be here with you… To keep you safe in any way that I can…”

Pepper’s eyes filled with tears again as she dreaded having to face Killian again in any capacity. She dreaded the future that he’d threatened her with. He’d talked about conquering the world. She feared that it was possible. He’d been strong enough and smart enough to contain the Hulk. Killian had done more than the US military or SHIELD had been capable of. What hope did they really have?

“Are you going to be okay while I make sure that I can get the equipment that I need?” Bruce asked.

“No.”

Bruce looked down at her with so much concern. 

“I’m not going to do anything, though,” she whispered. 

“I won’t be long.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she said as he untangled himself from her. She pushed away the tears and tried to calm herself. There was no use in it. He stared at her for a long moment before finally leaving. She wondered if he’d thought that maybe she’d harm herself while he was away. She’d truthfully thought about it. 

There was cloth she was sure she could somehow figure out how to hang herself or asphyxiate herself in some other way. She could break the glass of the mirror over the sink and use that to cut her wrists. She could try to drown herself in the bath tub. All of the outs were there… She just couldn’t bring herself to take any of them.

She didn’t know why.

She still wanted to die.

 

. . .

 

Bruce returned though and with some of the things they needed. He had explained that they were waiting for the internal ultrasound and he’d sounded like they’d already talked to Killian. She didn’t like any of it. Bruce was wanting her to relax, but she couldn’t. He’d made everyone else leave though and she was grateful for that. She hadn’t even wanted Agnes there. She couldn’t deal with the older woman’s sunshine today.

“Pep, I really need you to relax,” he told her as he sat between her legs. 

Male doctors had no clue how stupid that request was. “I’m sort of stuck on the thoughts that you’re Tony’s best friend and that you’re not my doctor…and this really isn’t a relaxing environment or situation.” She sighed and tried though; she cringed when she felt the cold metal being pushed inside of her. She stared up at the ceiling and focused on breathing. 

“You’re doing great.”

“You suck at this,” she whispered.

He laughed, but then he went quiet. 

“Talk to me…”

“But I suck at this,” he teased.

Pepper smiled a little. Maybe that’s why she trusted him… He reminded her of Tony sometimes. “Please, Bruce…”

“This isn’t the best lighting…” he told her honestly. “But it’s not the normal coloring… You are…or you were pregnant…at least six weeks…”

Pepper closed her eyes and turned her head towards the wall. She hadn’t felt different. She hadn’t felt like she was pregnant. She didn’t feel like she was ‘showing’. She still felt like such a horrible person for not wanting it…for wishing death to quietly take it away. 

She wanted to die.

“The internal ultrasound is going to be here in a few hours,” Bruce told her. He was slowly removing the speculum from her. She heard it clink on the metal tray that had been brought in with supplies. His hands were on her knees as he closed them and then he was helping her sit up. 

She still felt ridiculous in such a naked state in front of him. “He’s going to be here soon, isn’t he?” she asked as she pulled the blanket on her bed around her. Pepper wasn’t relishing the thought of having see him or explain herself or apologize for anything. 

“Yes,” Bruce told her. “I had to explain to him the possibilities of what could be happening… He’s going to be here in a few hours.”

“Before the ultrasound?”

“I don’t think so,” Bruce told her. “No one else needs to be in here while I’m examining you… I don’t care if he throws me around the room…”

Pepper frowned. She really wasn’t looking forward to whatever Killian had planned for Bruce when he returned. She didn’t think she could bear another night of his screams. She pulled the blanket tight around her and then leaned against him. She just needed a moment. Pepper closed her eyes and just tried to think of home. A moment of contentment. She sucked in breath and tried to focus on breathing and remaining calm even though all she wanted to do was scream. A moment of familiarity. Pepper wanted to feel safe…and she wanted to feel like the world wasn’t going to end even though she was sure it was once Killian returned. A moment of comfort. She tried to picture herself with Tony. Picture being with him at Stark Tower and rebuilding once again. A moment that reminded her of being home with Tony.

Tony…

She felt the tear roll down her cheek and she reached up to brush it away. 

“If we make it out of here alive, he’s going to hate me,” she whispered.

“He’s going to never want to let you go,” Bruce told her.

She loved that he knew exactly who and what she was talking about. Pepper didn’t know why things always felt so perfectly comfortable with Bruce, but they did. If anyone didn’t know them they’d think that they’d known each other for their whole lives. That wasn’t the case. It was probably why it made things a little awkward at times.

“I miss him.”

“So do I,” he whispered as he smoothed her hair. “So do I.”

 

. . .

 

Pepper didn’t look. She didn’t want to know. She was sure that Bruce was going to tell her anyways, but she couldn’t deal with it. She knew that at the stage she was at that the ‘baby’ didn’t look like a baby. But she still didn’t want to believe it and looking at the ultrasound would make it real.

It couldn’t be real.

She cringed as he adjusted the internal ultrasound. It was more uncomfortable than the speculum had been earlier. The pressure was the worst and she bit her lip as she tried to relax and just get through things. 

“There it is,” Bruce announced.

Tears fell from her eyes. She had such mixed emotions about this child that she hadn’t planned for or had wanted with Aldrich Killian. It was something that made things all the worse in her mind if they got out of there. What would she say to Tony? What would their life be like? What would the child’s? It seemed mostly unfair to the child if it survived.

“Heartbeat is good,” Bruce told her. 

“But-“ she blurted out before thinking further.

“You’re under an enormous amount of stress,” he told her. “That’s most likely it, but there are women who experience bleeding throughout their whole pregnancy and the baby ends up being perfectly healthy.”

She didn’t know what to do. Did she need to be relieved? Did she need to be heartbroken? What direction did she go in? Instead, she just lay there with her eyes shut as she waited for it to be over. 

“I’m going to print out the pictures,” he told her.

“I don’t want them.”

Bruce sighed. “Well, Killian’s going to want proof…but you might change your mind later… So, I’m going to hide a set in here and I’ll keep a set in my pocket. Just in case.”

She didn’t think she’d change her mind.

She wanted to die.

Bruce slowly removed the internal ultrasound and she immediately curled up on her side towards the wall and pulled the blanket to cover her. Pepper let out a sob that she couldn’t contain. She heard movement from him, but she didn’t move. “Pepper,” Bruce said as she felt him sit on the edge of the bed again. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t want it.”

“I know,” he whispered.

“He’s just going to kill me…”

“Pepper—“

“I won’t pretend to love him,” she whispered through more tears. Pepper continued to stare at the wall. She didn’t want to think about Killian touching her or kissing her or raping her. “I won’t submit to his will just so he won’t hit me…” She could take it. 

She wanted to die.

“I’m going to tell him that he can’t see you anymore…that he can’t come in here and touch you,” Bruce told her.

“He won’t listen to you.”

“He will, if I tell him that he’s adversely affecting this pregnancy…”

“And what happens when he wants to strap me down and use me as an incubator?” Pepper asked, her back still to him. She didn’t understand how Bruce could think that things were going to be okay when things seemed so bleak to her and downright terrifying.

“I’ll tell him that it could have an adverse affect on the baby. I’m sure he’s going to want a healthy child. I’ll cite birth defects that could be possible.” 

She slowly rolled over to face the other way. He looked determined and she wasn’t sure if that was really a good thing for them. “I wish you could just smash us an exit.”

“So do I,” Bruce told her. He tilted his head to look at her

 

. . .

 

And Killian came.

Bruce stopped him in the hall and then once it was all over, he came back and talked to her. He told her exactly what he’d told Killian. “And I told him that besides the stress levels that any physical activity could endanger the baby.”

“And he believed it?”

“I wasn’t fully lying… You’re resilient, Pepper… More so than you might realize right now, but I know it. He’s not going to endanger that baby… He seemed pretty satisfied with the pictures I gave him. So, I’m hoping that’ll distract him for a while,” Bruce told her.

Pepper was still in bed, curled up and wishing that she could end things. “Until he brings back one of the other doctors?”

“Let’s hope that he allows me to continue on as your doctor,” Bruce told her. “He did ask me if I was qualified to deliver a baby and I told him yes. I’ve done it before…and in worse conditions than this, but I’ll admit…I prefer a hospital.”

“I want to go home,” she whispered.

“I know,” he told her. He crouched in front of the bed and set his chin on the edge of the mattress. “I need you to promise me something.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I need you to.”

“Bruce, I don’t know if I can continue on.”

“You’re resilient.”

“I’m terrified of tomorrow,” she told him all too honestly.

“Let me tell you something,” he said. He sat up a little straighter and reached out to run his fingers through her long red hair. “Tony’s out there… He’s suffering and he’s going through hell right now… If his self-destructive behavior hasn’t killed him yet…and it hasn’t…then you and I can make it out of here okay… Why don’t you just concentrate on how what you’re going to do when you see him next?”

It was a suggestion and she knew that it was heartfelt, but it didn’t make her feel any better. She actually felt worse. She felt guilty and ashamed. Pepper knew that she shouldn’t, but she did. “How can I tell him that I’m pregnant with Killian’s child?”

“He’s going to just be relieved and overjoyed to know you’re alive.”

She shook her head. “It’s like cheating—“

“Pepper Potts,” he said quite sternly. How he said her voice reminded her of Tony in some way. “You are one of the most amazing women I know. I might not many, but you’re one of them. You’re incredibly strong and compassionate…and let’s face it, anyone who can put up with Tony like you have for so long deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.”

Pepper couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit. “You’re too sweet.”

“Promise me,” he said.

“I promise not to harm myself,” she whispered.

“If things get that bad,” Bruce told her. And she could see that he was deadly serious. His eyes showed the sadness though and almost grief. “If things get that bad,” he said again. “I’ll figure out a way to take us both out of this miserable place without pain or the possibility of Killian saving us…”

Pepper stared at him for a whole minute. “Deal.”

“Deal.”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	3. Tony: Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arihimew asked for a Tony chapter and here it is! :D

Tony stared down at the city of Manhattan. He was sure that some people thought it was beautiful. He thought it was the most horrible thing he’d ever seen. It was the reason that his darling Pepper was gone. She’d had to fly back to LaGuardia on the Stark Industries Jet and there’d been a terrible storm. It wasn’t mother nature’s fault, it was the city’s for it’s lack of safety. He didn’t even care that LaGuardia wasn’t located in Manhattan. It was still the city’s fault.

It had been months.

Every day got harder.

At first, he’d gone over the data from the black box and from the tower to try to determine the problem. The jet had exploded and the only thing that the investigators could come up with was that the jet was struck by lightning and triggered an explosion. He had never bought that. 

But she was gone.

The funeral had been the worse. He’d been barely able to keep himself upright.

He still wasn’t sure how he’d survived this long. He was sure that it was dumb luck.

“Sir, Agent Barton is calling,” JARVIS alerted.

“Tell him that I’ll only talk to Natasha.”

“I did, Sir.”

“So, why is he still calling?”

“He said that you need to suck it up and act like a man, Sir.”

Tony sighed and laid back on the special platform he’d designed to remove his suit. His legs dangled over the edge and he reached out to pull the body of beer closer to keep it safe. “Tell him I don’t take phone calls anymore.”

“He’s on his way up, Sir.”

Tony groaned. 

“Which intervention is this?” Tony asked.

“The fifth one since Ms. Potts’ funeral, Sir.”

Tony frowned. JARVIS almost sounded sad. Did JARVIS miss Pepper? JARVIS was an AI, he didn’t think he’d programmed in missing Pepper. At least he didn’t remember doing it. He stared up at the starry sky and just hoped that the elevator would stall and Barton would get stuck. He really wasn’t in the mood for an intervention… Though, he hadn’t been in a mood for the first four either. 

“This is getting ridiculous,” Clint spoke up.

“Have you finally come to put me in SHIELD jail?”

“It’s called the brig.”

“Whatever fancy name you’ve come up for it!” Tony told him and waved his beer around.

“We’re all worried about you.”

Tony groaned and rolled over and then slowly and with next to no balance. He fell down the few steps and landed flat on his face. He knew he was wasted, but he hadn’t thought he’d drank quite that much. He lifted his head just far enough to see one set of shoes. There were no other signs of anyone else. He frowned.

“This intervention sucks,” Tony complained. 

His head hit the perch floor again and he just lay there unmoving, but still conscious. Tony just hoped that he’d leave. That’s all he wanted, to be left alone. He wanted to wallow. He wanted to be self-destructive. He wanted to feel the pain and drown in it. 

“This isn’t an intervention.”

“If you’re going to say ‘assemble’, I’m just letting you know that there’s no way I can do that…unless you mean passing out,” Tony told him a bit muffled by the floor.

“We heard about what happened with Stark Industries… I’m surprised you’re still here,” Clint said as he crouched down near him, Tony could see about an inch of his black shoes.

“They gave me thirty days…on account that my mansion in Malibu was blown up…”

“Good to know you’re not completely homeless then.”

Tony groaned and pushed himself over and he rolled over onto his back and landed up Clint’s shoes. He looked upward and made a face. “Everyone has taken everything I ever cared about.”

“Pepper died,” Clint said. “Whatever higher being you believe in took her from this Earth.”

“I don’t believe in a God.”

“Well, I guess you’ll have to work that out then,” Clint said. “What happened with Pepper was a tragedy… We all realize that. Everything else, though. That was all on you.” 

“You know I’ve gotten this tough love speech before.”

“Then you should know it.”

“I screwed up,” Tony said. “I got low.”

“Pepper wouldn’t have wanted this for you.”

Tony screwed his eyes shut and tried to keep the tears back. He was not going to cry in front of Clint Barton. That was non-negotiable. He wasn’t going to be that broken and that much of a wreck and nowhere close to that drunk. “You can’t say that!” he finally spat. “You didn’t know her!” He opened his eyes and managed to get to a sitting position. He was slowly and ever so more slowly making his way towards the actual penthouse. 

“Natasha’s talked about her… I know that she was a good woman, she had to be to put up with your shit,” Clint told him bluntly. “She wouldn’t have wanted you to destroy your life like this… You’re out on bail… You’re back to the bottle… You’ve lost your suit to Fury because you can’t be trusted with it...which means that you’ve basically been kicked out of the Avengers… And you lost your company. The company that Pepper had ran…do you really think that she’d have wanted that? For you to completely flush your life down the toilet?”

“Don’t you get it?” he spat as he motioned wildly with his hands. “None of it matters!”

“You caused major damage to buildings, injured people, and screwed up your image as Iron Man because you decided to joyride while drunk,” Clint said. “You’re lucky you have money and you’re not locked away in some jail.”

“They’ve already fixed everything and those people are all fine,” Tony told him.

“And your suit? Fury has it locked away,” Clint said. “Everyone’s come here to try to get you back on track and you just ignore us all… We need you, Tony!”

“You don’t!” he yelled. “I only destroy everything!” The truth was that Manhattan hadn’t killed Pepper. The weather hadn’t killed her. “I killed Pepper! She was on my jet! She was flying home because I wanted to see her! I was supposed to go with her, but I was too busy tinkering away on a new suit that I lost track of time and she left without me! I never deserved her and the universe decided that for once and for all that they’d teach me that lesson the hard way! I don’t deserve to live…but the universe keeps letting me…”

Clint just stared at him.

So, Tony continued. “I should have rolled off of this thing by now… I should have plummeted to my death. I should have died when I flew that suit and crashed into those buildings…”

“Maybe the universe wants you to live,” Clint said finally.

Tony stared up at him. “The universe wants to punish me.”

“So, make amends.”

“How do you expect me to do that?”

“Come back with me,” Clint told him. “Get back on track… Everyone is on board with it. Everyone has agreed to help you. Bruce is off in some jungle and—“

“He was supposed to be back by now,” Tony said suddenly. “We had a lunch date.”

“When?”

Tony just stared at him for a long moment. “JARVIS?”

“You were supposed to meet with Doctor Banner last Friday, Sir.”

Tony motioned to the sky. “There you go.” He felt like he was sobering up in some way even though he really wasn’t. His brain was functioning a little better. He got to his feet and swayed a bit and caught himself on Barton. “Sorry…legs are a bit…noodlely…” 

Barton grabbed him and hauled him inside. “Maybe he got sidetracked… I’ll have Natasha check into it. But Steve is willing to come back to help…and Rhodey is willing to fly in when he can.”

“Please tell me he’s using War Machine again,” Tony practically begged as he collapsed on his couch.

“Iron Patriot seems to be too much of a traitor, so War Machine is back,” Clint affirmed. 

“Excellent,” Tony said as he lay on the couch on his stomach with his arm and half of his head hanging over the edge. “War Machine rocks!” he said and pumped a fist into the air. He let out a laugh then remembering his conversation with Rhodey when he was hacking his system last time.

“Come back with us. Do it for Pepper.”

“Don’t use her against me.”

“I’m using her for your own good,” Clint said.

“Pepper…” he whispered and then shook his head as he tried to keep the tears away. It was so hard. The penthouse and Stark Industries reminded him of her all day long. They’d spent so much time there and it was supposed to be their new start. “She…she was proud of me even when I was a jerk,” he mumbled.

Clint walked closer to the couch. “And would she be proud of you now?”

“She’d kick my ass,” Tony said and smiled a little at the thought. 

“She loved you, Tony,” he reminded. 

If Pepper were alive, she wouldn’t recognize him. And it hit him. The dam broke and the tears fell and the sobs racked his ribcage. “I’m not the man she loved…” He’d reverted into the man that Pepper had tolerated and babysat for so long. He’d made enemies along the years, but most of them he’d made when he was in such a drunken state. He couldn’t continue like this… He couldn’t make more enemies. 

He needed to get better.

Tony knew that he had to.

He needed to be the man that Pepper would be proud of again.

“Okay,” he whispered through the tears. “I’ll go.”

 

. . .

 

“I hate you.”

“You don’t.”

“I do.”

“We do this every morning.”

“I might hate you more every morning.”

Steve frowned. “Why does breakfast have to be like this?”

“Because you wake me up.”

“It’s part of your program, remember?”

Tony groaned and let his head fall onto the table. “This program sucks.”

“Addiction sucks,” Natasha said as she sat down at the table.

This was what they did every morning. Steve called it breakfast. He called it torture. He was still trying to get past not drinking. Fury had insisted that he quit cold turkey. It wasn’t easy…and it made him downright rude and even more than normal. “They should write that down somewhere…”

“Why don’t you work on being addicted to coffee,” she suggested and nudged it towards him until it hit his head.

He groaned again and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and frowned at the cup of coffee. SHIELD coffee really wasn’t Starbucks. “I need a pair of sunglasses…”

“Too bright?” Natasha asked a little amused. 

“Living sucks,” Tony complained.

“You didn’t do a very good job at trying to die,” Natasha teased.

“Living is hard and it hurts… It hurts too much… Can’t someone just take me out of my misery?”

Natasha shook her head. He had a feeling that she didn’t appreciate his whining. Maybe he’d get out of this intervention that wasn’t an intervention sooner with additional whining and then he could go back to doing whatever the hell he wanted. “Next suicide mission Fury hands out, it’s all yours.”

“Excellent,” Tony mumbled and sipped his coffee. He was going to need a lot of coffee if they wanted him to be anywhere near useful. 

 

. . .

 

Time passed. But no matter how much time passed, things didn’t get easier. They just sort of regulated. He had a routine. Tony lived and breathed SHIELD and the Avengers. And whenever he thought about falling…they’d keep him on track. He didn’t know how people could be there for him through all the hell they’d put him through. 

Late at night on the helicarrier he’d think about things. He’d think of far too many things. Tony knew that most of the things didn’t matter. They were project ideas that were bouncing around his head. He couldn’t do that right now. He couldn’t focus like that. He was still working on getting better. He wasn’t there yet. Tony honestly wasn’t sure if he’d ever be there. 

He still missed Pepper so much that it physically hurt.

He still wanted to drink.

He still wanted to die.

Tony knew things were changing. He was sober. Being sober sucked. He had responsibilities. He hated being responsible. He didn’t have an assistant. The closest to an assistant that he normally got as far as the Avengers went was Bruce and Bruce had been off the map for months. He’d tried to convince them that they needed to worry, but no one believed that they should be worried about Bruce when he could just Hulk out. There’d been no Hulk sightings since New York. 

And now, they wanted to push him to a new level. He felt like he was going to be a pawn. But maybe for now, he thought, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. He hated authority. He hated having to follow orders. He’d been working on that. He’d been doing what everyone else did on the carrier. He had a job and he had responsibilities. He’d even been doing the paperwork. 

Pepper would be so proud, he thought.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Because we can wait.”

“Are you scared?”

“Terrified.”

“You’re going to have to do it sometime,” Rhodey told him.

Tony sighed and raked fingers through his hair as he paced. It had been months since Pepper had died and months since his suit had been taken away from him. SHIELD had just come in and seized his property. In the long run, they’d been right to do it. He knew that…now at least. He’d been lucky to not be brought up on charges for the destruction and injuries he’d caused during his self-destructive joyriding. SHIELD had intervened and so had Stark Industries as far as paying for it. 

The armor was in the alcove and just waiting for him. All the time on the helicarrier and he hadn’t even seen it. He hadn’t wanted to. “I seriously don’t think I can do this.”

“Tony—“

“I’m a mess!” Tony shouted at him.

Rhodey sighed. “Don’t you think it’s a good idea to just go out and take a test flight?”

“And what if I screw things up?”

“We’re going on a little flight, that’s it… We’re not going on a mission.”

“I don’t know…”

“It’s just to get your feet wet.”

Tony knew that he needed to do it. It terrified him though. The last time he’d been in the suit he’d been in such a dark place. He was still in that place, there was just some sunshine shining in now. It wasn’t that he didn’t think he could pilot the suit. He knew he could do it. He was afraid of disappointing them.

He had never been afraid of disappointing anyone in his life…

…except Pepper.

They’d all bent over backwards to make things happen for him. They’d done everything they could to get him better. Rhodey had taken time out of his schedule to be there. Tony was pretty sure that the Air Force also liked having an officer who occasionally moonlighted for SHIELD too. Steve had come to live on the carrier permanently instead of exploring the world. Tony still felt like he should explore the world. So much had changed; there was so much to see. And then there were Clint and Natasha… He supposed that he was just lucky that neither one of them had killed him yet.

“If I lose it—“

“JARVIS has already been briefed.”

“You briefed JARVIS?”

“It’s not like he can’t scan the media and get confirmation.”

“Confirmation of my breakdown?”

Rhodey shrugged. “We all breakdown sometimes, Tony. Yours was just a little more public…”

“A little bit?”

“I was trying to be nice.”

“You just stick with being Rhodey… I’ve got Steve if I need nice right now,” Tony told him as he approached the armor. “I think he’s waiting to be more bossy until I get my head back.”

“Really?” Rhodey asked and stepped into his armor. It really was nice to see War Machine back in its standard grey and silver. Tony also felt a bit better going out with Rhodey knowing that Stark Industries was the only company that could access the operating system. JARVIS was of course installed and wouldn’t let anyone install anything without the proper access codes.

Tony shrugged. “Sometimes people are nice to me.” He took a deep breath and stepped into his suit. It closed around him and he tried to focus on breathing. 

“Stupid people are nice to you,” Rhodey’s voice came through.

“I’m in recovery!”

“Recover faster.”

“Trying,” he whispered. He sighed. “JARVIS.”

“Yes, Sir?” JARVIS responded immediately.

“Display Pepper’s picture on the HUD.”

“Yes, Sir,” JARVIS said and a picture of Pepper displayed on the left side of his HUD. 

Tony kept the tears back and kept breathing. “I can do it,” he whispered. 

“You ready, Tony?” Rhodey asked.

“No, but I’m going to have to be anyways, right?”

“Right.”

 

. . .

TBC...


	4. There Can Be Hope

“It’s the beginning of June…and we’re thinking you’re around twelve weeks along,” Bruce told her. “So, you’re due sometime in November.”

“I still don’t want it,” she told him. She’d started to show a little, it was like the ‘baby bump’ had showed up overnight. She’d tried to ignore it because it only made her more depressed. She didn’t want to even think about having to continue on for five more months… She just didn’t think she could do it. 

Killian had Bruce check on her once a day, but then she was left alone. No one came. Bruce was taken back to the room they kept him in. Agnes didn’t come anymore. So, Pepper just sat. It made her want to die more. Things just felt so hopeless and living felt so useless.

“I know,” Bruce said all too sadly.

“I don’t know how I’ve made it this long,” Pepper said honestly. 

There were no tears. She’d grown fairly numb to it all. She knew that that only worried Bruce more. She couldn’t cope. She knew her fate. Pepper had accepted it and she just couldn’t cry anymore about it. She couldn’t hurt anymore. 

“You need to get outside for a while,” Bruce told her.

“I’m not sure if he’s going to let me after last time.”

“I promise not to let the Hulk out to play in the field,” he teased.

She didn’t smile. She just stared at him. 

“You really are going to be okay, Pepper…”

“No, I’m not.” She looked away from him. “Sometimes I’ll think about how things could be… Seeing Tony again, but it will never be the same...”

Bruce sighed and rubbed his face. She knew what that was. He was frustrated and he felt helpless. She made him do it a lot. “You need social interaction is what you need…”

“Agnes hasn’t come.”

“Killian wanted her here for when the baby comes, but she was pretty shaken up…”

“It’s probably better this way…”

Without warning, Bruce had pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. At first she wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but there was too much comfort in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. She shut her eyes and just wished that he wasn’t going to have to leave. 

“You need this,” Bruce told her. “You need someone, Pepper…”

He wasn’t wrong. 

Oh God, he wasn’t wrong.

She squeezed her eyes shut tighter. 

Pepper didn’t see how Killian would allow him to stay with her though. She hadn’t had any more complications and Bruce was telling Killian that he wasn’t allowed in, so Pepper doubted he’d let him crash there. 

His arms around her, though… 

“Please don’t go,” she breathed as she heard the knock on the door. 

They were signaling that his time was up, but Pepper didn’t want him to go. She wanted to keep him there. She wanted to have someone to talk to. She wanted someone who understood that she was being held against her will and that she was going through something that was torturing her emotionally. As sweet as Agnes was, she never seemed to be on her side. She needed someone on her side. 

“I’ll be back soon,” Bruce told her as he ran his fingers through his hair as he pulled back from her. “Just…don’t give up.”

She stared at him. She felt like she’d given up months ago. Pepper had been determined not to let Killian break her, but to be honest…she felt broken. She felt lost in the middle of a raging storm at sea. Nothing seemed right and she was so empty inside. “Please…” she pleaded. 

“You know I don’t want to leave, Pep,” he whispered. He cupped the side of her face with one hand and leaned in to kiss her cheek. He pulled away and she stared at him and he looked a little worried for a moment. She thought he was so sweet to be so concerned about her. “I would sit here all day and all night and go on about things that you don’t have any interest in just so you could finally tell me to stop and you’d actually talk about something else.”

“I thought you weren’t that kind of doctor?”

Bruce smirked. “Tony is a completely different story.”

“That’s true,” she said with a small smile and then was suddenly sad. How she missed Tony. How she missed that life… She’d grown far too accustom to it and accustom to Tony and all of his eccentricities. The knock came again and Bruce got up from the edge of her bed. Pepper reached out and grabbed his hand and held it tight. “Please, Bruce…” She didn’t want to be alone, not if ‘company’ was Bruce.

“I’m going to talk to Killian—“

“He won’t—“

“Trust me, Pepper,” he told her. “I think I’ve carried through on all of my other promises…”

And he had.

He came back every day like he promised. He’d promised that Killian wouldn’t touch her or come near her. She hadn’t seen him since the complications. She was so thankful for all of that. Pepper knew that if it had been any other doctor that they most likely wouldn’t have taken her feelings and the situation to heart like Bruce had. Not even Agnes had seemed to have been overly concerned for her. 

She nodded finally and released his hand. She stared down at the floor and watched as his feet walked to the door and knocked. And then he was gone…

 

. . .

 

The day passed by all too slowly. At least that was how it felt like to her. Bruce didn’t come when she normally expected him. He normally came after lunch. Dinner came and he still hadn’t come. She sat on the bed and stared in the direction of the door. Pepper didn’t know whether to worry or not. She hadn’t heard Bruce’s screams…and there hadn’t been any yelling or shouting. It had been quiet and the movement outside had been the same as normal. 

It was pitch black outside, but she was still up. 

She wanted to knock on the door. She wanted to demand that they bring Bruce to her. She wanted to demand so many things… But in order for her demands to be considered, she was sure that she’d have to talk to Killian. She didn’t want to, not yet… She’d wait… Try to be patient… Try to keep sane. 

Bruce would come.

He’d promised her.

 

. . .

 

In the morning, she didn’t eat. She’d left the tray untouched and unmoved. The tray wasn’t removed when the guard came to remove it. Instead they’d shoved Bruce in some time later. She didn’t move much more than lifting her head. Pepper sat on the bed, almost afraid that he’d disappear if she did.

“Well…it took me a bit longer to get back…” Bruce said, she wondered if she was trying to cut the tension. She didn’t know. All she knew was that she was happy to see him. He bent down and retrieved her tray. “They acted like you’d gone on a hunger strike and then I find out that you just hadn’t touched breakfast…”

“I don’t want it.”

“You’re going to eat it,” Bruce told her as he walked closer with it.

“You didn’t come yesterday.”

She watched as he sighed and then set the tray on the nightstand. He rolled up his sleeves to reveal far too many needle puncture sites. Bruce frowned down at them for a moment before rolling them back down. 

“They decided that they needed to use me as a pincushion.”

“Bruce—“

“I’m okay,” he told her. “I know Killian’s trying to fix something… I think he was hoping he’d be able to use some kind of power of suggestion over me… I think he’s trying to figure out how to adjust whatever he gave me that keeps me from turning into the big guy.”

“You sound so calm about it.”

“I was more worried about you,” he told her matter of factly.

Pepper just stared at him for a moment. “We have a deal.”

“I know,” he said slowly. “But I promised…and I didn’t come right back…”

“Are they going to come right back for you?”

“No,” Bruce said slowly. “You’re going to eat… We’re going to talk for a while… We’re going to go for a walk… And then sometime after that, then I have to leave…”

“Killian didn’t—“

“No,” Bruce admitted. “I felt like I was so close to convincing him, too… He acted like I might try to take advantage of you… I think he’s more worried about you showing more affection to me than him.”

“Too late,” she mumbled as she stared down at her hands.

Bruce sat on the edge of the bed like he always did. “You’re going to eat, though…”

“I—“

“You need to eat.”

Pepper glared over at the tray. She was happy that Bruce was there and that they were going to let them have a bit more time, but she was so terrified and so lonely. She let out a heavy yawn and found herself rubbing her eyes.

“You didn’t sleep?”

“I kept worrying that I’d wake up to your screams…” she whispered honestly. She had thought that if she stayed up that if they’d started to torture him again that it wouldn’t be so bad as being jarred from sleep to that sound. 

“He had been testing to see if I could get past whatever he gave me and have the other guy take over… I guess he had to be convinced…a lot…”

Pepper just stared at him and then hung her head. She felt a little guilty for that. “Bruce—“

“No more talking about that, okay? It’s not good for you to be upset…and I can manage it… I’ve gone through a lot worse in my life than Killian poking me to try to get a rise out of me,” he whispered. Bruce reached out and grabbed the tray. He held it on his lap and looked over what they’d brought her. “I’m sure they won’t reheat it…and it’s probably already cold…but you need to eat something at least.”

Reluctantly, she took the tray when he offered it to her and slowly ate. She had wished that Bruce were eating with her. It wouldn’t feel so awkward that way. But she ate just the same. She didn’t look at Bruce or talk to him and he was quiet for a few minutes, but she figured that he must have felt the tension when he started talking.

“So, I’ve been thinking…”

“Please tell me it’s about getting out of here,” she whispered. Pepper didn’t know why she was whispering. As far as she knew, Killian didn’t have any cameras or microphones in there, but she still felt the need to whisper. 

“Something like that,” Bruce told her.

She didn’t know why for a moment she was so hopeful. She pushed the tray back to him. She’d eaten a bit, though she doubted it was enough for that. For the first time since she’d been told that she was pregnant…she touched her belly that was forming. Pepper shed tears at the thought of having to face Tony. It was absolutely terrifying to her…she didn’t know if it was the fact that she would have to explain what had happened or that she was terribly worried that he wouldn’t want her anymore. 

There were movements and the sound of the tray being moved before he lifted her face with his hands, but she kept her gaze downward. “You tell him it’s mine…” Bruce whispered. 

Her eyes darted up to look at him. Tears fell from her eyes. She just stared at him for a long time. “I can’t—“

“If it makes things easier for you…”

“But Tony, he’ll—“

“It’s okay,” Bruce told her all too calmly. “I’ve been roaming this planet on my own for a long time, Pepper… I’m used to not having friends. It’s okay…”

“No, it’s not,” she whispered as she reached out and cupped his face with her hands. “You deserve so much more than the life you’ve been living… I know that Tony had hoped that you’d stay in New York…work for Stark Industries… He wanted you to have a life. He wanted you as a friend. You help ground him.”

“I think you’ve been doing that a lot longer than I have,” Bruce told her. 

Pepper leaned in and pressed her forehead against his and just breathed for a moment as tears continued to fall. She knew what he was trying to do telling her that. If she felt too ashamed or guilty or whatever to tell Tony about what had fully happened…what Killian had done to her…that this child she was carrying with Killian’s…that he would sacrifice his friendship with Tony. She didn’t want that. “I can’t lie to Tony like that…”

“I figured,” Bruce whispered. “You’re too good for him…”

Pepper smiled a little. “I’ve heard that before.”

“It’s true.”

“I love him,” she told him sadly.

“I know,” Bruce said. “He’s a mess, Pepper… He’s going to need you. I just, I wanted to make things easier on you if you needed it. I’m here if you need it.”

She closed her eyes and they just sat like that. Pepper didn’t know if it was captivity or her feeling so alone…but this…it was feeling a little like home. It wasn’t the same as she felt with Tony. She swore it was because Bruce was all she had right now… Pepper had conflicted feelings, but she just wanted to be held and told that things were going to be okay…and Bruce could do that for her right now. 

“You should sleep,” he finally spoke up.

“Will you stay with me?” she asked. 

“We’ve got time.”

Pepper watched him, trying to gauge his reaction. “Will you hold me? Please…?” she asked in a quiet whisper. “Just until I fall asleep?” 

“Pep—“

“I just want to fall asleep knowing I’m not alone…and that maybe things aren’t so horrible,” she whispered, tears so close to falling. She looked down still afraid that he was going to say ‘no’. Pepper knew that there were lines…boundaries…and that they really shouldn’t cross them…but she wanted the comfort…the hope…

Bruce lifted her face and kissed her cheek before wiping away the tears that were falling. “Shh… Until you fall asleep,” he whispered. 

There really wasn’t that much room on the small twin bed, but she was going to make it work anyways. He was moving pillows around and then he motioned for her to lie on the side of the bed that touched the wall. She supposed that it would be easier for him to stay until she fell asleep if he could get easily out of bed without waking her. So, she moved and lay with her back against the wall and watched as he moved so that he was beside her.

She was in his arms and her head was pressed against his chest. His arms were warm and heavy around her and she felt like she was in this comforting shell. Pepper was okay with that. She was okay if Bruce never let her go. She would happily sleep like this and wake up in the same fashion. After all of the months of being alone, it was such a welcome change. It was bittersweet though; Pepper couldn’t push away the thoughts of Tony or the baby she was carrying. 

Out of nowhere, he was rocking her ever so gently and there was the quietest of a song on his lips. Pepper didn’t know what song or even what language, but it was soothing. So, she closed her eyes and finally let sleep overtake her knowing that she was safe.

She woke to find that he’d fallen asleep like that. She wondered if he’d worried the night before as she had. If he’d worried that Killian had done something to her and had tried to act calm about it when he’d come into the room. Or was it just that he’d been help captive? Pepper was glad that no matter what it was or why they needed it, that they’d both been able to find comfort and sleep in each other’s arms.

He looked so peaceful as he slept. She ran her fingers through his dark hair and smiled. Pepper wished that things could just be like this. Where she could fall asleep without fear or pain or absolute terror and wake up without any of it. No matter the beast that people saw, she always saw him like this first….the doctor who cared about the world…a healer…a friend…and with so much hope inside of him. She didn’t know how he did it…how he did it after everything he’d been through.

Bruce’s eyes brown eyes were looking back at her then and a lazy smile shone back at her. “Hey… I guess we both needed a nap,” he whispered.

“I guess so,” she whispered back. The back of her hand was running along his cheek as she stared at him and she could see something else in his eyes. Something different.

“Pepper,” he started to say as he tried to pull away.

She grabbed him and shook her head. “Please…not just let…a few more minutes,” she requested. He looked reluctant, but he gave in. 

“This isn’t the smartest idea,” he told her.

“I think it’s the best one,” she said with a smile. 

“I think the escaping is a better one,” he countered and his face moved closer to hers. Their foreheads touched for a moment and there was silence between them. His eyes closed and he moved until their lips were just brushing. She was about to meet his lips with hers when he moved his head to the side and let out a breath. “I think we should—“

Pepper took his face in his hands and pulled it back to her. She leaned in and finished the kiss that he’d tried to start. It was sweet and full of hope. Pepper didn’t know what overtook her. It was overwhelming. It wasn’t lust… It was comfort and friendship and hope and somewhere…somewhere it was love. She pulled back, just until their lips were barely touching and he didn’t move. 

He finally let out another breath, looked downward, and let out a low laugh. “We shouldn’t have done that…” he whispered.

“Maybe not,” she whispered back. 

“You love Tony,” he said as he lifted his head so that she could fully see his face again.

“I do,” she confirmed. Her fingers were running through his hair again. 

“Pep—“

She sighed and rolled her eyes as she sat up. “If you say it’s my hormones, I’m going to slap you…” Pepper turned to look back down at him. “And that’ll really be the hormones…”

Bruce just grinned at her. “I was…I was just trying to give you an ‘out’ if you regretted it…”

To prove that she didn’t regret it, she leaned down and quickly kissed him again. Would she regret it later? She didn’t know. Right now, though, right now…it felt right…and to her, that was all that mattered. So far, she’d dreaded what the next day might bring…

For the first time…

….she really had true hope.

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	5. The Ticking Clock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this isn't confusing... I stayed up way too late to try to get this chapter fully completed and a bit more in it than I should have... There are some time jumps, but I tried to be clear where they are... I didn't want it to drag... So, I tried to keep it moving :)

Her days with Bruce were always something to look forward to. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. They’d eat lunch together, they’d chat, they’d go for a walk, they’d chat some more, they’d eat dinner, and then he’d have to go. Pepper never liked it when he left. After falling asleep in his arms and having woken up weeks before, she’d found herself craving it…craving that closeness and comfort. 

And the kiss.

They hadn’t talked about it. 

He hadn’t talked about an escape plan or mentioned it further.

Things had just been…day to day and simple.

Bruce hadn’t acted awkward or weird, though. Pepper really wasn’t sure what to make of it. She wondered if he had wanted her to think about things. To really decide if she regretted it or not. She hadn’t. Not now… And if they really got back and she got to see Tony again and he still wanted her, she just had to hope that he’d understand everything…

“You’re quiet today,” he told her. His arm was around her as they walked in the field. 

“Just…thinking…” she admitted. She looked over at him and he seemed content enough. 

“Have you thought about names yet?” Bruce asked hopeful. 

Their days had been filled with distraction. Nothing about home. Nothing about Tony. Nothing about Killian. But he’d talk about the baby. Maybe Bruce was the reason that she didn’t find herself hating the child that was growing inside of her. She just wasn’t sure what to feel. The memory of Bruce telling her to tell Tony that he was the father to make things easier on her would circle through her mind every now and then. He was so sweet. He’d been trying to push her to let him do the ultrasound to determine the gender of the baby. Pepper just wasn’t ready yet, though she knew that Killian was probably biting at the bit for more information. Bruce always seemed to be able to talk around things. 

“No,” she told him. 

“You should,” Bruce encouraged.

Pepper just looked over at him. 

“You’re still worrying about Tony.”

She looked down as they walked. They really only walked in circles, so it wasn’t like she was going to miss the scenery. “I try not to…”

“Don’t.”

“You’ve been wanting me to find out the gender…and all I can think about is what if it looks like Killian? If it’s a boy or a girl? Either way there could be similarities…”

Bruce pulled her closer and stopped for a moment. He turned so that he was facing her and took both of her hands in his. “No matter the gender. No matter what the child looks like. There’s going to be part of you in there. You’re going to love that child, even if you don’t know you can do it now… I know you’re going to be a good mom, Pepper… Once you see your little one’s face, you’re going to know… And all that that child is going to know is how much you love him or her…and nothing else. Nothing dark.”

Pepper stared at the ground still as she thought about what he was saying. “It’s still hard for me…” she started, but couldn’t finish it. She wanted to think about having children and being happy, but she hadn’t imagined any of them looking like Aldrich, she’d always thought that they’d look like her or Tony. 

“I might have to give you homework,” he teased. 

“Oh?”

“To think up five boy names and five girls names…just to get you thinking… No matter what, this child is going to need a name,” he told her. He was both serious and gentle. She knew that he wasn’t trying to be mean, he was being realistic…

Pepper wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. “When can we go home?” she whispered. 

“I’m still working on it,” he whispered back as he wrapped his arms around her and then rubbed her back. 

She squeezed her eyes shut. The baby was due in November and wherever they were, she just hoped didn’t end up accumulating snow if they ended up having to wait until after she delivered. She didn’t think she could wait until the summer months came around again. 

“Soon,” Bruce whispered.

“There’s only three months until the baby comes,” she whispered and her voice started to break as she fought back the tears that threatened to fall.

“Time to come inside,” one of the guards announced.

She didn’t move right away, but waited a moment. Pepper was savoring the comfort of human contact with someone that she felt safe with…she didn’t want to break it, but she did. Pepper knew that if she hadn’t, then Bruce would have done it a moment later. 

 

. . .

 

“I’ve thought of some names,” she spoke up. They were in the middle of dinner. She had her back to the wall, sitting on the bed with her legs straight out. Bruce was sitting so that he was facing her, but so that he was sitting alongside her legs on the bed. 

“Do share,” he gently prompted.

Pepper had only thought about it because Bruce had told her that she should. It hadn’t been on purpose. Her brain had just started to mull over options because he’d opened the subject. In her head, she’d tried to imagine the child as hers and Tony’s, but that hadn’t really helped entirely because she’d gotten far too sad to think of all of the names that Bruce had requested. 

“What is it?”

“I just… I guess whenever I thought about having kids these last couple of years, I’ve always thought it would be with Tony,” Pepper told him and then bit her lip. She pushed herself to stay calm. “And with Tony… I would have wanted to carry down family names… Do more than just pass on the Stark name…”

“So, that’s impacted your thoughts?” 

Pepper shrugged. “It doesn’t seem right… Maybe I’m just hoping for a girl,” she said and pushed the food around on her tray. 

“You said you thought of some names…”

“I like Olivia and Emma,” Pepper told him. “I like more…classic names…not all of those odd spellings and interesting names they come up with now…” 

“I feel like you’re not telling me something,” Bruce suddenly said.

A secret.

She’d promised to keep it.

She’d almost let it slip…but had kept it close to her heart.

Pepper saw that he looked hurt, so she tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t make her so suspicious. It was a secret that she’d been holding onto since before she’d arrived there. Something that only a couple of other people knew. “I just…” she stumbled. “I think Ethan and Henry might be strong boy names…”

It seemed to appease him. 

“They do sound like good choices,” he said after a moment and then went back to eating. 

Pepper watched him for a moment before going back to eating as well. She wanted to know what he was thinking. If he was upset with her for keeping secrets from him or if he’d just been worried about her thoughts… She knew that he hated it when she got upset and when she worried too much… She’d tried to be better about that. Bruce both made it better as well as complicating things.

“They should be giving you more than that,” Bruce told her.

She was confused for a moment and then realized that he was pointing to her tray with his fork. “I don’t think I’ve eaten so much food in my life…”

“You’re eating for two…”

“I wish they’d give me something more healthy… I’m already huge,” she complained good-naturedly. 

“You’re beautiful, Pepper,” he told her.

She looked up and caught him looking at her. Pepper blushed. She went back to eating after a moment. It was moments like these that made her feel normal…made her feel like just for a moment that they weren’t living a nightmare. Bruce brightened everything, even when he was being so serious. 

 

. . .

 

“We shouldn’t, Pepper—“

Her lips were on his and she didn’t want to stop. She just wanted to be held and kissed and to feel safe and loved. She wasn’t even sure who had started what or how they’d gotten into the bathroom. Bruce had turned on the shower and she was in the middle of removing her clothing when there was a knock at the door.

The knock that said ‘it was time to end the day’. 

Bruce let out a frustrated sigh and then a low laugh. “See…we shouldn’t,” he whispered as his thumb rubbed small circles on her shoulder. He leaned back in and kissed her. “Get in the shower while it’s still warm and I’ll see you in the morning…”

“Bruce—“

“Go on, before they come in,” he told her. 

She finished stripping and he helped her in, even though she’d taken a shower without his help before. Pepper watched as he went and wondered if he was right. Should they? Shouldn’t they? Did any of it matter? She knew that Bruce said he had a plan, but it had been vague, and she didn’t know when they’d be able to leave. 

Pepper stood under the warm water and let it soak her. 

 

. . .

 

Bruce’s visits had been consistent and they’d become closer. Pepper had put it off as merely needing someone who she felt comfortable with…and needing comfort. Bruce seemed to make things easier and brighter…

“You have to have thought of more names…” Bruce told her. “It’s been a month.”

“Has it?” Pepper questioned.

Bruce kissed her forehead. “We’re in August now…”

Months seemed to pass by so much quicker now… She didn’t know if it was merely due to Bruce’s presence or her further acceptance of the baby had anything to do with it. Pepper looked up at him and she knew then what she’d known, but had been denying.

Pepper had feelings for Bruce.

She loved him.

It was so confusing to her. In her heart, she still loved Tony with all her being. Tony was who she dreamt of and who she imagined being with… But Bruce was so easy to love and be with…and he was there right now for her…and he was helping her to survive the nightmare.

“It’s been so long…” she whispered.

“I know,” he whispered back a little sad. Bruce leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her lips.

Pepper often wondered how Tony was. He was out there in the world and he thought she was dead. Bruce had said that Tony had been a mess. He’d also said he’d gone back to drinking until he passed out. That was what worried her most. But Pepper wondered if maybe he’d found someone…someone who would love him and take care of him… He needed that.

It had been about seven months since she’d seen him…

With Agnes not coming anymore or bringing the paper in so many months, she didn’t know anything…she couldn’t be sure of how things were with Tony and with the company.

“Pepper…”

“Do you think he’s happy?” she found herself asking.

“No,” Bruce told her quietly and honestly. “It will take him far longer than about half a year to grieve for your loss…” Bruce stroked her cheek lightly and Pepper could see sadness in his eyes. “I’m going to get you home to him, Pep… I promise.”

She wondered if that was hard for him. If right now, being with her and how close they were, if that was cruel to him…to know that he’d have to give her up to his best friend.

“Bruce—“

“Shh…”

Pepper reached up and held his face between her hands. “I love you, Bruce,” she whispered.

Tears fell from his eyes and he moved her hands away. “You don’t,” he told her a little roughly and his voice cracked. He sat up and turned to move away from her. 

She wasn’t sure what to feel. He hadn’t exactly rejected her… Pepper got to a sitting position and stared at his back. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“I should have kept my distance—“

“Don’t say that.”

He was crying. She could hear it in his voice. “It’s true… I’m a beast, like Killian said; he might have the big guy under control for now… But it’s not safe… I’m not safe…”

Her arms were around him and though her belly pressed into his back, she got close enough, and rested her head on his shoulder. “Don’t say that… You’d never hurt me…”

“You can’t be certain.”

“You protected me before when you were the Hulk,” Pepper pointed out in a whisper.

“Pepper—“

“If you don’t feel the same, it’s okay,” Pepper told him. She kissed his shoulder and just squeezed him from behind. 

Silence passed between them for a while. Pepper closed her eyes and just tried to be there for him like he’d been there for her.

“It’s not that,” he finally whispered and turned in her arms. He ran his fingers through her hair and then stroked her cheek. “I love you, Pep…but you and Tony…”

“I love Tony,” she told him as she stared at him. Tears formed in her eyes, it was so hard and she was so conflicted, but she wasn’t going to lie. Not about how she felt. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. Not to either of them. “But I love you, too…” She ran her fingers through his dark hair. Pepper tried to hold the tears back. “It’s different…I don’t know how else to explain things…”

“Love can be hard to explain,” Bruce told her. He pulled her into a long kiss. Finally, he pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “Pepper, I’m going to keep you safe…” He pulled back and then leaned in to kiss her again. His hands slid down to cup her belly. Pepper looked down at his hands. She’d tried not to worry about how ‘large’ she seemed to be getting. It had seemed like overnight she’d just gotten more prominent. “And I’m going to protect this little one,” Bruce told her before looking up at her.

She didn’t know how life would work out once they got home. Pepper wished she knew. She wished that she had all of the answers in advance. She didn’t. Neither of them knew what the future would hold. Tony had been encouraging her to live in the moment for some time now and so she felt like she had to do that. This was their moment and she’d just have to hope that Tony would understand.

She loved Bruce.

She couldn’t lock away that feeling.

Her arms were tight around him and eventually they were lying back on her bed, entwined in each other’s arms. This was what she needed right now. She needed Bruce. They both needed him. 

Bruce kissed her temple as they got comfortable again. “Tell me the names you like again…”

“Emma and Olivia I said before for a girl,” Pepper said. She knew that he was trying to keep her from becoming upset. She shouldn’t be upset; they’d gone over that a lot. Right now, Pepper didn’t mind this distraction. “But I also like Isabelle, Madelyn, and Sophia…”

“And for a boy? Didn’t you say Henry and Ethan before?”

Pepper nodded against him. “But I also like Liam and Gavin and Lucas…”

“All good names…” Bruce told her. “Do you have favorites?”

She looked up at him. This was the first time she’d really thought about names and felt like things were going to be okay when the baby came. Pepper had gone from wishing the baby dead to being hopeful about it. Knowing the gender ahead of time still terrified her for some reason… “I like Henry for a boy…”

“And for a girl?”

“Sophia…”

 

. . .

 

She knew that the day was coming to an end, but she was trying to stave off the reminder that Bruce would be leaving. They’d spent much of the evening cuddling and kissing, so she hadn’t discouraged it even though it was late. She knew that they’d knock when it was time for him to go. They never came in except to slide in the trays. 

“I have to go soon,” he whispered and she hated that he remembered. If only he could stay the night with her. To hold her while she slept…

For the first time in a very long time, the door opened without being knocked on first. They both stopped and looked over to see Aldrich Killian standing there absolutely fuming. Pepper knew that whatever was going to happen next wouldn’t be good and she worried about Bruce. He didn’t even have the Hulk to protect him if Killian decided to use him as a punching bag or did some other kind of horrible test on him. Bruce was off of the bed and standing in front of her and Pepper found herself moving so that her back was to the wall and she was pressed as far away from Killian as she could get. 

“I should have known better,” Killian said. “It doesn’t matter if you know Stark. Who would skip a chance to sleep with Pepper?” he asked. His tone made it sound like he couldn’t blame him. Pepper knew that that wasn’t how he felt. The rage and anger was coming. He moved towards Bruce and he threw him back away from her across the room. He crashed against the wall and fell to the ground limp. Killian turned to her and she could see his eyes glow the familiar Extremis orange glow. His hand was on her throat and Pepper struggled against him and to breathe. Her legs flailed and she could see the anger rise in him. “I expected better from you, Pepper,” he fumed. “I gave you so many chances…” Finally, he threw her off to the side hitting the wall hard before she fell to the floor between the end of her bed and the wall.

She gasped for air and whimpered. She hurt and her hands went down to her belly. How it had been so difficult for her to fathom caring about the child she carried and now her first thought was if the child was okay. Pepper’s eyes darted across the room to where Bruce lay. She could see him, his eyes were open and he almost looked like he was seizing. His skin, she realized, it was tinting green but his size wasn’t increasing… His body was trying to fight whatever Killian had done to him.

“Oh bravo,” Killian said. “Shall I smack her around a little more and see if you can beat it? Give it a real test?”

At his words, Pepper moved so that she was wedged in the corner. She wrapped her arms around herself and watched Killian. She was sure that being tossed around was not good for the baby. It was one thing if he broke one of her bones or bruised her, but it was quite another when it put her baby in danger. 

Bruce looked like he was in such pain as he struggled to get to his feet. His skin was mottled now with a darker green. She didn’t know if he was trying to force the change or if the Hulk just didn’t feel like it could be contained any longer. “You don’t deserve to live,” Bruce got out between growls. “The real problem with Extremis is that you didn’t die before…”

And Bruce was right.

Killian’s body had sustained so much damage before; she still didn’t know how he’d survived. She knew that Extremis wasn’t perfect. You took damage, you felt it, and your body had to recover and heal. She’d lived through it. She had no idea how you’d want to suffer over and over again like she knew Killian had already. 

“Pepper’s body doesn’t contain Extremis anymore…and that baby…you could be injuring it throwing her around like that!” Bruce spat and then started to run towards Killian with a mighty yell that started to morph into almost a howl. 

Pepper covered her face and tears fell freely as she couldn’t bring herself to watch them clash. She honestly didn’t know who would come on top because there was no knowing if the Hulk would be unleashed. 

When everything sounded like it was over, she peeked and fresh tears and sobs erupted from her when she saw that Bruce was in a bruised and bloody heap on the floor. He was still moving, but that brought her little comfort. Guards were in the room dragging him out and Pepper felt like her life was over right then and there, except she knew what Killian wanted… He wanted the baby. She didn’t want him to have the baby, there was no way that he would love it…and that’s really what babies and children needed…

“Tomorrow, I’m going to have another doctor here,” Killian told her. “He’s going to hook you up and knock you out… I’ll have my baby Dorian or Claire and you’ll never even know you had the baby because you’ll be dead right after…”

Pepper just stared up at him in absolute terror and with so much hate. He didn’t stay and at least that was one thing to be grateful for, but Pepper feared that it was the only thing… She sobbed there in the corner, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she thought about how the world was about to end for her…and for her child. 

 

. . .

 

Bruce’s screams hadn’t woken her, but Pepper was confused to how she could have slept with such agony echoing through the walls. She’d somehow passed out sitting the corner. Pepper had actually awoken because of severe cramps and she feared even moving. Reaching out, she grabbed the frame of the bed and used it in order to drag herself to her feet. She held onto her belly and tried to breathe through the pain. 

She took a few steps and then almost fell, she looked to see if there was something that she’d tripped over but instead found a rather large and disturbing spot of blood on the floor in the corner where she’d been sitting. She held her breath and tried to concentrate on if she could feel the baby move. She never was sure when she felt things if it was the baby or if it was just being pregnant. Pepper panicked and was pounding on the door crying about how she needed help a moment later. 

The guard opened the door, looked her up and down and then told her to wait. 

Pepper didn’t know what to do. Last time she had bleeding, it hadn’t been anything more than stress. She had a feeling that being thrown against a wall had something to do with it this time. All she wanted was Bruce back to tell her that everything was okay, to hold her in his arms, and to kiss her head. 

Instead, she got Killian. He took one look at her and then turned to the guard at the door. “Fetch the beast!”

She moved back towards the bed, trying to get as much distance between herself and Killian as possible. Pepper was sure that he’d find a way to blame her. Nothing was ever his fault even when he was beating you. They just glared at each other as they waited. Those minutes seemed like a lifetime. 

Bruce was thrown back into the room and Pepper couldn’t contain her emotions. She took a step towards him, but Killian kicked him in his ribs and she stopped. She cringed and tears flooded her vision. This wasn’t helping… Didn’t Killian see that? If he really cared about the child she was carrying, he wouldn’t be delaying things. 

“Please…” she whispered as she sank to her knees. The cramps were hitting her harder and she didn’t know what to think. She couldn’t be going into labor; she still had about eight more weeks. Bruce had even told her that it could be a little longer… But this, she was sure that there were bad things that could happen to the baby. She didn’t want that.

Bruce’s head moved up and she finally could see his eyes. He was badly beaten and she didn’t know how he was going to help her. Pepper didn’t even think he could move with how bruised he looked. His lip was split and there were other cuts that littered his face and his arms that she could see. 

“Contractions?” he asked as he tried to get to his feet.

“Cramps,” she responded.

“How far apart?”

“I don’t know.”

“We need to see how badly you’re bleeding and see if you’re effacing or dilating yet,” Bruce said. He turned to Killian. “If Agnes is still on call for delivery, we’re going to need her… I’m also going to need the ultrasound and any fetal monitoring you have. I’m also going to need blood and everything for a c-section.”

“It’s too early… Just stabilize her…” Killian ordered.

“It’s not that easy,” Bruce said. “I won’t know for sure until I have the ultrasound and the fetal monitoring, if you have it, but the baby could be in distress… We need to act fast… This could have been happening for as long as she’s been left alone.”

Killian didn’t look pleased, but left anyways.

Pepper crawled towards him and he drew her into his arms. They held tight to each other for a long moment before Bruce scooped her up. She noticed how painstaking it was for him, but he did it anyway. He carried her the short distance to the bed and laid her down. She knew that he was going to have to examine her and her panic grew as she thought about what he’d told Killian… That it could be something that might involve a c-section…that the baby could be in distress… “I don’t know how long I was bleeding,” she told him and felt awful. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Bruce said and she could tell that he was trying really hard to stay calm.

He was removing her lower clothing and all she could think of as she watched him was how badly he must hurt. “I’m sorry, Bruce.”

“What Killian did, it’s not your fault, Sweetheart,” Bruce said softly. “Right now, we’re going to focus on you.” He was moving her and she knew that he was looking for whatever it was that doctors looked for in this case. He was so quiet and it made her panic all the more. “You’re not hemorrhaging that I can see,” Bruce told her. “So, that’s good, but I still want to do the ultrasound…”

“What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?” she asked quickly.

“There could be a few reasons that you’re bleeding… All have to do with you hitting the wall… I’m more concerned right now about placental abruption… That can be dangerous for you and the baby… That’s why I need the ultrasound…Agnes…and the supplies in case we need to take the baby now…”

“But it’s early—“

“Thirty-two weeks means that the baby should really be in NICU… If Killian’s going to keep you both here then he’ll have to get the medical equipment…”

“I don’t want the baby to die,” she whispered and rolled her head to the side as a new wave of tears hit her. She wanted this baby. This baby was hers. She wasn’t going to let it die. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Bruce told her. He pulled the covers up and he was checking her vitals. “I’m going to do everything I can… Hopefully, if we’re lucky…this is just Braxton Hicks…and minor insignificant bleeding… I just want things in place in case it’s not.”

 

. . .

 

“I can’t believe we’re not taking her to a hospital!”

“I know.”

“It’s not a sterilized environment!”

“I know.”

“It’s not like we’re doing this the old fashioned way!”

Agnes had arrived and was furious with Killian’s refusal to take her to a hospital in order to receive proper medical treatment. She’d been going back and forth with Bruce for ten minutes and Pepper wondered if Bruce was wishing for a new assistant. Pepper just stayed quiet though. They’d found a heartbeat and she’d been focusing on that. It was steady, but when Bruce had been looking at the ultrasound he’d been worried about what he’d saw. He was afraid that the placenta was separating from her uterus and that there could be hidden bleeding. He was worried for her and the baby. 

She heard Bruce sigh and she looked over at him. He was looking over the supplies that had been brought to them. Pepper watched him as he raked a hand through his hair. He was frustrated and worried and she knew that he was still in pain. “Bruce…”

He turned to her and walked closer. “We’re going to start in a few minutes.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s not a hospital,” he told her. “Normally, we’d numb your back before giving you the spinal…but I don’t have the numbing shot. It’s going to be painful and we have to be careful that you don’t move…”

“As long as the baby’s okay, I can handle it,” she told him. 

“Do you want me to go over what’s going to happen at all?” 

“Do you have everything you need for once the baby is here?” Pepper asked. 

Bruce just stared at her for a moment. “I think so… Everything we’d need right away… It just needs to be moved and plugged in.”

“That’s all I need to know,” she told him and reached out touched his arm gently. “I trust you, Bruce…”

 

. . .

 

The bed had been striped and had been re-made for the procedure and moved away from the wall. She was sure that the room set-up was nowhere near good conditions for a c-section like this. Agnes and Bruce had moved things around until they made sense for them. Once they were done, they went started the prep for the procedure.

The spinal had been painful, but she’d focused and held still as much as possible. Agnes, bless her heart, had held her hand and talked her through it. For as much as the woman had driven her crazy in the beginning, she was glad that she was there. It was so much better that it was another familiar face. The spinal had worked so much faster than she’d anticipated and she felt it reach her fingers by the time that they were ready to start. Pepper was relieved that she couldn’t see what they were doing, but at the same time…she was worried. If something went wrong, though, she knew that she’d know immediately.

“We’re going to start,” Bruce told her. He and Agnes were completely suited up and lights had been moved in and around where they needed it. “If you feel anything more than pressure…or you start to feel something else, I need you to tell me…”

“Okay,” Pepper told him. 

Bruce and Agnes worked quietly, she could hear them talking but she wasn’t focusing on what they were saying. She was focusing on listening for her baby. She knew it was going to take some time to do the procedure, but she wanted to know that her little one was safe. “You’re probably going to feel some pressure,” Bruce told her. 

Pepper didn’t notice anything.

“Here we go,” Bruce said.

Pepper waited.

Finally, a cry filled the room.

Bruce laughed and Pepper felt so much relief hit her.

“I’ll take her,” Agnes said. “You just wait, Mom. I’ll bring her over once she’s a little cleaner…”

“Agnes is going to suck out her airways and check her vitals,” Bruce told her as he continued whatever he was doing. 

“A girl?” Pepper found herself saying, she wanted to make sure that she’d heard Agnes right. 

“Yes, a little girl,” Bruce said. 

Pepper felt like she could breathe. Lying there was so much easier with the knowledge that her daughter was safe. 

“Agnes, I’m going to need you to put the baby in the incubator so you can help me for a few minutes,” Bruce said. 

“You just don’t want me to play with this precious girl!” Agnes teased. She was there at his side though a minute later.

Pepper looked over to where she knew the incubator was and could barely see the small form in the plastic cocoon. She smiled; she swore she could see a bit of red hair. She wanted to touch her and really see her up close. That was her baby… 

“I know, I know…” Agnes told Bruce as she hurried to adjust things on the IV. She patted her shoulder. “I’m going to bring you that little angel over in a minute. We’re going to get some blood in you… Doctor Bruce over there found a bleed… Nothing major! He’s already taken care of it!”

“It’s just Bruce,” he spoke up.

“But you’re a doctor!”

Pepper smiled and found herself feeling heavy. She was starting to feel sleepy. She didn’t know if that was something to worry about or not. “I don’t know if I can keep my eyes open,” Pepper whispered.

“That’s perfectly normal, Dear,” Agnes told her. “I’m going to bring your baby over right now.”

Her baby was wrapped up, but still looked far larger than she’d expected. She wasn’t going to argue or complain about it though. She was sure that that was a good sign. “She’s going to be okay?” Pepper asked as she looked her over. Her little girl looked so content and she definitely had red hair. She was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen… She was perfect.

“She’s a little bruised, but I think that’s from what caused this whole thing to start. Doctor Bruce told me about it,” Agnes chatted away. “But this is a miracle! She’s a strong one! She is! Eight weeks early and nearly six pounds! She seems to be breathing just fine on her own and hopefully no problems eating…”

No matter what. 

Her daughter was perfect.

Pepper already knew her name. 

 

. . .

 

She’d fallen asleep for a bit once Agnes had taken her daughter away to go back in the incubator until Bruce was done. Pepper hadn’t felt the need to force herself to stay awake when for the moment, the world was spinning on. When she woke, she’d found that Agnes and Bruce had changed her and moved her in order to removed the soiled sheets and such that had lined the bed during the c-section. She was tucked in and she felt absolutely helpless being unable to really move much, but she felt a renewed sense of hope.

“Hey,” Bruce said. He was sitting the chair, he’d pulled it up the bed, and he had her daughter in his arms. “She’s beautiful… I think she might be the most beautiful little girl…”

“Where’s Agnes?”

“She’s supposed to be getting some preemie things… The diapers and everything are a little too big for her right now…”

“She didn’t seem as small as I thought she’d be,” Pepper said and Bruce slowly moved the sleeping baby from his arms and into hers. 

Bruce got up and adjusted her clothing and the baby until they were skin to skin. “I have some theories on that…but I don’t want to share any of them in front of Agnes or Killian…”

“You’ll tell me—“

“Once I know for sure,” Bruce told her. “But right now, what’s important is that you’re both okay… I need to watch you for infection though.”

Pepper kissed her daughter and marveled over her innocence and beauty. She really was the most beautiful baby. “I know what I’m going to name her,” Pepper told him.

“I think I know too.”

“Oh?”

Bruce smiled at her. “You loved Sophia the best for a girl…”

“Yes,” Pepper answered and beamed at him and then turned her attention back to her daughter. “Sophia…”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	6. Bruce: Limited Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...I'm back! I was away camping for week! Though, I didn't get AS much writing done as I would have liked! This chapter is a Bruce POV chapter! He's been wanting to share!

Bruce had wished that his plan could work right now, but he knew it couldn’t. It would be too hard on Pepper until she recovered further and he feared for Sophia’s safety as well. He’d planned on taking out the guards outside on one of their ‘walks’ and getting Pepper away from there. He knew they carried guns and if he could disable those outside then he could take the weapons. No matter how much he hated using violence, he wouldn’t in this case. He’d do anything he needed to in order to protect Pepper and now Sophia. 

He felt rather helpless now though.

Bruce was still only allowed so much time with Pepper and Sophia and it was so much less than it had been before. He was thankful that Killian had brought in another bed and had Agnes staying around the clock for the most part to be with Pepper and the baby. Though he knew that she would be a great mom, he knew that everything was harder on her besides just the fact that this was her first. 

Killian would insist on having time with ‘Claire’ during the day and most of the times it would be when he would have time to be with her. Killian would remind them that their usefulness was coming to an end. Bruce realized that and unless he could either get out or prove that Killian could keep them alive longer, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. At the very least, Killian hadn’t shown any interest in Pepper. He was far too focused on Pepper. 

Bruce stared up at the ceiling of his room. It was a cell really, just disguised as a room in an old farmhouse. The paint was peeling and cracking. It was cold and the windows were definitely not double paned, but actually made of something different. He wasn’t quite sure what it was. He knew he should be sleeping, but he ached too much. Agnes had tried to get him to take some of the pain medication that Killian had on hand for Pepper, but he hadn’t wanted to take any. He didn’t know how much Pepper would need and who knew if Killian would refill it. 

He really thought that his soul almost ached more than his body. Bruce had become so accustom to the Hulk being able to smash things and people like Aldrich Killian. He’d given in and accepted that the Hulk would forever be apart of him. He’d done good in the world…but now when he needed the Hulk, he couldn’t make the change. The Hulk had really given his all when Killian had thrown Pepper across the room though…and when Killian had brought him back into his room and kicked him around. Bruce was sure that he was pretty bruised all over, there was swelling, some cuts, and maybe a couple of broken ribs. It really wasn’t anything that could be treated with anything more than ice and keeping it clean. 

“You’re not doing her any good like this,” he whispered to himself and sighed. He rolled onto his side and tried to sleep. 

He always felt a little guilty dreaming about Pepper. Bruce truly loved her, but Pepper was right…love was different with different people. That was just the best way to explain it. He still loved Betty. That hadn’t changed, but it was different with Pepper. He’d been able to get closer to her than with Betty and she loved him for him…and even the Hulk. 

Sometimes at night he would dream of her…and Sophia. 

 

. . .

 

Sophia was five and she was the happiest little girl. She looked just like her mother and was far too intelligent for her own good. “Look at what I have!” Sophia yelled. Her long red hair bounced as she ran through the field, pulling a kite as she went. 

“I don’t know if we have enough wind for that,” Bruce told her and moved towards her and scooped her up. She giggled and his heart felt so light. Sophia and Pepper were the center of his whole being. Their smiles and their laughs and their giggles just made his soul sing. This was where he was truly happy. He spun Sophia around, her safe in his arms. Her giggles filled the air as he continued. 

Pepper’s scream rang out and he immediately froze. It came again and he held Sophia close as he ran for the house. When the house was in sight, it was like his heart immediately broke. The house was burning, it was completely ablaze. There weren’t any more screams and he didn’t see Pepper and that’s what worried him so much. Bruce still ran to the house, he had to know if Pepper was inside…or if she was safe. He prayed that she was safe.

Setting Sophia down a good distance from the blaze, he kneeled down in front of her. Her face was welted and red and so full tears. “I’m going to go look for Mommy,” he told her. “I need you to stay right here. Do you understand? I’ll be right back for you.” Sophia nodded and he left her. 

Bruce looked into every window and though he wanted to try to get into the house, it was no use. It was completely consumed by the fire. There was nowhere he could go without being burnt. He hoped that his lack of finding Pepper inside meant that she’d made it out. Perhaps her screams were just because of the house? He didn’t know… He just had to hope that she would appear. 

He returned as he promised, but didn’t find Sophia where he’d left her. Bruce turned quickly. “Sophia?! Sophia!!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs with panic. His eyes noticed movement and turned towards it. 

“You say that you love them, but you weren’t here to protect them,” Killian said as he held Pepper in one arm and held onto Sophia’s hand with his free one. “When will you learn? You’re just a beast! You don’t deserve love! You don’t deserve a family! You don’t deserve them! They’re mine!” He started to back away from him and Bruce saw that Pepper and Sophia were going along willingly. 

“Pepper! Sophia!” he called and started to walk towards them.

Out of the sky a blast shot out and knocked Killian into Bruce couldn’t see where. And there was Tony clad in his Iron Man armor. He landed and his faceplate flipped up. Bruce was overjoyed to see him, but obviously not as much as Pepper and Sophia were.

“Tony!” Pepper breathed and she was in his arms and the kiss was deep and far too long for Bruce’s liking.

“There are my girls!” Tony said after he’d caught his breath. 

“Daddy!” Sophia yelled and then she was hugging his armor-encased leg.

Bruce just stood there dumbstruck. What had happened? This was his family. He’d been the one that had taken care of Pepper and Sophia both. He knew that Pepper loved Tony and that he’d have to give her up, but after all of this time…he’d thought that they were his. That they were a family.

“Thanks for standing in,” Tony told Bruce.

Instead of feeling angry or anything like that, he felt empty and unloved and disappointed… He watched as they walked away and it broke his heart all the more. He’d known that Pepper wasn’t his to keep, but he still loved her and he loved Sophia. They were the closest to having a family that he was going to get with his alter ego. 

He was alone again.

 

. . .

 

Bruce woke up with a start. He was breathing fast and he trying to control it. The more he thought about the dream, the more upset he was…with himself. He knew what the future held for Pepper and Sophia and the only place he had in it was as a friend and ‘uncle’. That was it. That was the closest he was going to come. 

As much as he knew he shouldn’t be angry. 

As much as he tried to suppress it.

It wouldn’t work.

Aldrich Killian was playing with their lives. 

He felt the Hulk fighting for control. 

A scream escaped his lips and he rolled off of the bed and onto the floor. His hands and knees caught him, but then his hands curled up into fists as he fought it. This was not the time for the Hulk to break free. He needed to be with Pepper and Sophia and they both needed to be strong enough to travel before he could Hulk past whatever Killian had given him. 

Bruce fought back against the Hulk. As much as he’d like the ability to transform into the giant green rage monster that Tony was so fond of, it wasn’t going to help things. “Please…we can’t…” he pleaded with himself. He could feel the sleeves of his shirt start to tear lengthwise down the arms as well as the back of his shirt. 

He screamed into the floor until the Hulk stopped. Bruce collapsed and just sobbed. How torn he was…emotionally and physically. All he wanted to do was to protect and love Pepper and Sophia, but he knew that they weren’t his. Not really. Tony loved Pepper and she loved him. Bruce had a feeling that no matter who was the father, Tony would love Sophia. And then he had the Hulk trying to push his way through whatever was in his system. Bruce still didn’t understand it. All he knew was that the Hulk was still there, just somewhat contained… There was a time where that would be all that he would have cared about and he’d have even thanked Killian, but not now… 

Things were different.

They were different between Bruce and the Hulk.

He could control it. 

The Hulk wasn’t some mindless beast anymore. 

Bruce had remembered Tony talking about the armor and how it was part of him, that’s how the Hulk had always been automatically for him…but things were different. He didn’t just black out. He didn’t cause mass mayhem or destroy entire cities. He could do good. The Hulk could do good. It wasn’t just his work as a nomad doctor, but also the Hulk. They’d helped save the world from Loki and the aliens that had poured out of the sky. 

“We have to save it for later, Big Guy,” Bruce whispered to himself as he gave himself a moment. He pushed himself up to a sitting position and pulled his hands down over his face. He sucked in breath and forced himself to focus on calming himself down. He was going to be no use to Pepper in the state he was in. 

Bruce knew that he had to get it together. He had another set of clothes plus scrubs; he needed to shower and change. Maybe he’d feel more human if he did…and maybe he could think clearer. He hoped so anyways. 

 

. . .

 

They kept him locked away for two days. Bruce didn’t know if it was because they were watching for the Hulk to emerge or if there was something with Pepper. He tried not to dwell on it and just figured that Pepper was getting her time with Sophia. He had to at least hope that.

“Let’s go,” the guard said.

Instead of taking him to Pepper, he was taken to a nicely furnished living room turned office space. Bruce didn’t want to talk to Killian, but it didn’t seem like he had much of a choice. He didn’t want to deal with the man who was threatening to not only end his life, but Pepper’s as well…and he expected to keep Sophia. There was global domination mixed in there as well to complete Killian’s crazy scheme.

“You don’t look happy to see me,” Killian said from where he sat comfortably in an overstuffed chair. 

“You threatened to kill me and Pepper.”

“I cured you.”

“It’s not a cure,” Bruce said.

“You’re right,” Killian said. “It’s more of a suppressor.” He shrugged. “But I’m still a little surprised that you’re not thanking me.”

“Three years ago I would have,” he admitted truthfully. At one point that had consumed his entire existence. He had been so bent on restoring himself to ‘normal’. Not now. 

“What’s changed?” Killian asked. “Please don’t tell me that making friends with Tony Stark has changed your life,” Killian said with amusement as if it was a line he heard all the time.

“He’s part of it… He and others… They believed in me,” Bruce told him. “I knew that I could be useful in other ways…”

“Yes, you helped people,” Killian said before he could say anything more.

“I did.”

Killian just remained quiet for a time. He finally spoke up. “I’m worried about Claire.”

“The baby’s about eight weeks premature,” Bruce said. “We’re lucky she’s not three pounds and requiring a feeding tube and ventilator. She’s strong.”

“Still,” Killian said. “I think some tests are warranted.”

This was his opening. The one that he’d been waiting for. “That’s only natural,” Bruce said. He tried to play it cool. “In the hospital they would have done a number of screenings as part of the standard newborn testing.”

“I want them done.”

“We’d have to send everything to a private lab. We don’t have the necessary equipment here,” Bruce told him. “It would likely take weeks to received all of the results back.”

“If I could get the lab equipment for you, then could you do it here?”

“I guess…” Bruce said slowly as if he were unsure of his own skills. “Some of it is really delicate… The equipment isn’t cheap—“

“I’ll do anything to ensure that my daughter is taken care of and healthy. I’ll get you whatever you require by tomorrow.” Killian pointed to a nearby table with a pad of paper and pens on it. “Go ahead and write me the list.”

Bruce wrote down everything he required to run those lab tests plus a few extra items. “I think those are the basics…”

“Be sure.”

So, he looked it over again. He jotted down a couple of insignificant items down. He ripped the page from the pad and then handed it to Killian. Deep down all he wanted to do was to punch Killian in the face. He was such a smug bastard. “That’s it,” Bruce told him.

“They’ll be delivered to your room tomorrow,” Killian said.

“Will I be able to check on Pepper and the baby today?” Bruce asked. He refused to refer to Sophia as Claire. So, in order to keep from pissing off Killian any further, using ‘baby’ was his compromise to the situation. 

Killian smirked at him. “You miss your girlfriend, don’t you?”

Bruce thought that the use of ‘girlfriend’ and ‘boyfriend’ always seemed odd to him at his age. They were terms that were overly used by teenagers. There had to be better terms. “I’m concerned about Pepper’s recovery.”

“You’re friends with Stark,” Killian said. “What is he going to say about how close you’ve become with Pepper? Do you think he’s just going to give her up and move on?”

“Can I please see her?” Bruce asked. He didn’t want to play games with Killian.

“I have another doctor looking in on her,” Killian said. “I’d have him do the tests, but I already know that he doesn’t know how to run them here.”

“Most don’t.”

“See,” Killian said as he gestured to him. “You’re useful.”

Bruce frowned. “Is Agnes still—“

“For someone who doesn’t want to confirm being in any kind of relationship with Pepper, you’re awfully concerned about her and my baby.” Killian sighed and looked to the side for a moment. He turned his attention back to Bruce. “You know Pepper was supposed to be mine. Now I’m going to have to look into other options—“

“You mean kill her.”

“The doctor brought up an interesting option to me today.”

“What kind of option?”

“Why do you care?” Killian challenged.

He knew what Killian wanted. He wanted him to just give in. He wanted him to admit things and to humiliate himself. Bruce really didn’t care what Aldrich Killian thought of him. “I love her, okay?” Bruce finally said and then his voice got really quiet. “She’s my best friend’s girl and I love her…” Bruce sighed and looked at Killian, “I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“The beast admits he has a heart,” Killian said as if he were touched. “What if I want Claire to have a sibling? She’s obviously taking after Pepper… She has her hair coloring…”

“So, you’re going to keep Pepper in order for you to rape her, force her to have the baby, and then you repeat until you have the desired number of children?” Bruce asked. This really was a new level of low. Whoever this doctor was, he wanted to kill him. What happened to ‘do no harm’?

“She won’t even know,” Killian told him with a shrug.

Killian had threatened this before. He was talking about hooking Pepper up to machines, putting her into a medically induced coma, and then just using her body. It wasn’t life. 

“Please let me see her,” Bruce requested. He felt panic surging through him. He really needed to get them out of there. He couldn’t let this happen. He wouldn’t let it happen.

“If I let you see her today, then tomorrow you will only see her as long as it takes you to collect samples from Claire. Then no more for at least a week,” Killian said.

He really didn’t like it. What choice did he have? If he didn’t take advantage of seeing her today then he most likely wouldn’t be seeing her for a week. At least now he could warn her…and it had already been two days.

“Thank you,” Bruce said, not wanting to chance his luck.

 

. . .

 

Pepper seemed so happy when he walked in. She had Sophia in her arms and from Agnes’ lack of hovering; he assumed that Pepper was doing better as far as breastfeeding went. It was a good sign for Pepper and for Sophia. And for his theory.

“How are you two doing?” Bruce asked as he slowly crossed the room. 

Agnes put her hand on his shoulder and patted it. “They’re doing just fine!” she said all too cheery. “I’m going to give you three some privacy!”

Bruce moved the chair to Pepper’s bedside. He didn’t want to crowd her by sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

“I had started to worry,” Pepper told him. “When that other doctor came in—“

“Killian doesn’t think he can trust me,” Bruce said. “And he’s right… I won’t tell him everything.” He could see that she was concerned, but he meant to have everything under control.

“What aren’t you telling him?” Pepper asked. Her face was now full of worry.

Bruce sighed and moved from where he sat in the chair so that he was perched on the edge of her bed facing her. He reached out and touched her cheek. “I promise to tell you as soon as I know for sure…”

He needed to tell her.

He hated to have to tell her. 

He hadn’t seen her in two days after a brief visit in the morning; it would be at least a week until he saw them again. Bruce knew it was going to be hard, but he knew he’d take comfort in knowing that Agnes was there. 

“Today’s going to be our last day for a while,” Bruce told her. He saw her face before she ducked her head to stare down at Sophia. “I’m going to be running some tests on Sophia…just to make sure everything’s okay.”

“Do you think something’s wrong?”

“No,” Bruce admitted. “Killian wants them done. It’s just to appease him. He said that I can come in the morning and collect the samples I need from Sophia…”

“But then I can’t see you?” she finished.

“He’s punishing us,” Bruce explained though he was fairly sure that she already knew that. “He’s not happy with simply physically beating us, he seems to want to humiliate us…shame us…”

“But we have today.”

“We do,” Bruce told her. He leaned in and kissed her. Bruce kissed her like it was the last time because every moment there it could be. He purposely left out what Killian had told him about using Pepper’s body as an incubator for more children. There was no reason in upsetting her when that wasn’t going to happen.

Killian was not going to break them. 

Pepper would never be Killian’s.

After he pulled back he peeked at Sophia and tried to pretend this was normal. He knew what that little girl deserved. Sophia deserved her parents and she deserved a stress-free environment. She deserved to be happy and spoiled and loved. She deserved so much more than Killian could ever offer.

“She looks like you,” he told her before placing a kiss on the infant’s forehead.

Pepper beamed at him. “Agnes thinks so too.”

They chatted for a bit about Sophia, but Bruce couldn’t neglect Pepper. “The doctor who was here—“

“Has the worst bedside manner,” Pepper told him.

“Did he look at your incision? Remove anything?”

“He had to remove the IV and the catheter. Agnes said that I needed it out and that waiting wasn’t a good idea,” Pepper told him with a frown. “But that was it. I didn’t want his creepy hands on me. He seemed mainly concerned with Sophia anyways, so Agnes supervised his examination of her.”

Bruce frowned at her. He really couldn’t blame her for not wanting some random stranger touching her, but they needed to make sure it didn’t get infected. Normally, he was fairly sure that they used dissolvable stitches on the inside and staples on the outside. He had been forced to use normal stitches on the outside.

He moved a very sleepy and content Sophia in her incubator. Bruce and Agnes did it mainly for show, but he knew a proper cradle or something similar was going to be needed eventually. He moved back to Pepper and went very quiet as he went into ‘doctor mode’ as he examined her. “It looks okay,” Bruce said. “I’m afraid they’ll be a scar though—“

“The scar is the last thing I’m worried about,” she told him.

He covered he up and sat back on the edge of her bed. “Is the pain bad? Anything I should know about? Any questions that you may have that I can answer?”

“Can I have a shower?”

“I really want that area to stay dry… I mean I guess you could, if you can keep it dry—“

“Agnes and I will figure it out.”

“And the pain?”

“It’s managed,” Pepper told him. “Agnes has been keeping me on a schedule along with making me walk.”

“That’s good. It’s good to be walking just no overdoing it. And no lifting.”

“Except Sophia.”

“Except Sophia.”

Pepper scooted and pulled her blankets back. “Come and sit with me… If I’m not going to see you for a week then I want to savor the time that we have now.” 

Bruce was about to argue, but felt like that might be one of the stupidest things he’s ever done. He removed his shoes and then was about to slide into bed with Pepper when Sophia’s cries interrupted them. “I’ll get her,” he said. Better that she fuss now before they were both comfortable.

Handing Sophia to Pepper, Bruce slid in next to her. He was slow and careful so as not to jostle the bed or the baby. He covered them both up and then wrapped an arm around Pepper. 

How he loved them. 

It hurt.

It broke his heart. 

He was dreading the day that he’d have to give them up. The day that they would no longer be the model for a family he had longed for.

Sophia had fallen back to sleep cradled in the safety of her mother’s arms. Pepper leaned in and kissed him. It felt too perfect. Bruce knew that this couldn’t last, but he would enjoy it now.

Bruce would treasure it. 

He’d been lucky so far in his life as far as finding special people to love him. 

Betty.

Pepper.

No two loves were ever the same. Bruce knew that it was selfish, but he wished that those loves were so limited.

But Tony could love them and provide for them better than he could.

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	7. Tony: The Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony's POV
> 
> This one came up a couple of pages shorter than normal, but I hate to bog it down if I don't need to! So, hopefully it works!

“Sir, they are still requesting for you to respond.”

“Tell them I need another minute.”

The Stark Malibu Mansion was nearly completed. He felt as if he was staring at someone else’s life as he hovered over the Pacific Ocean, just staring at it. He turned his attention to his HUD. Pepper’s picture was always displayed there. He’d noticed that JARVIS would automatically rotate pictures without him requesting to do so. Sometimes he wondered if JARVIS was more human than he gave him credit for. 

“Things are on schedule, Sir,” JARVIS spoke up.

“Great,” Tony replied dryly.

“Is there a problem, Sir?”

“It’s not the same.”

“The blueprints you submitted did have some updates,” JARVIS told him. “But I can assure you that the exterior is exactly as it was.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I don’t understand, Sir.”

“Pepper isn’t there…or here…” Tony rambled. “And where the hell is Bruce?!”

“Director Fury still denies your requests to use the worldwide satellite system to run a facial recognition for Doctor Banner?”

“Yes,” Tony replied sadly. He missed his best friend. He was sure that he’d at least make breakfast more entertaining…and maybe he’d help to stimulate his mind a bit. No offense to the others, but it just wasn’t the same level of intellectual conversation that he was so used to having with Bruce.

“I am certain that I could get you into the system and use the facial recognition software in order to locate Doctor Banner or the Hulk,” JARVIS said with full confidence.

“I am sure you could,” Tony replied flatly. “But I’m supposed to be on the so called ‘right path’. No hacking. Maybe Bruce just doesn’t want to be found.”

“Sir, Colonel Rhodes is insisting that you reply.”

“Put him through,” Tony said as he continued to stare out at the nearly reconstructed mansion that he once called home.

“Tony! Seriously, Man! If you’re having an episode… I’m just going to come and beat the crap out of you—“ Rhodey went on.

“You’re the worst on interventions,” Tony told him. “And I’m not having an ‘episode’. I just— I was— I miss Pepper.”

“Me too.”

“You miss her being the intervention.”

“I miss how you were with her.”

Tony sighed. Whenever he received updates about the mansion, all he could think about were the missiles and his home being destroyed. Now, all he saw was a life he wasted. 

“JARVIS,” Tony whispered.

“Yes, Sir?” JARVIS replied promptly.

He was so weary. Their mission had brought them nearby, which was the only reason he’d stopped by to see the construction. Tony felt so old…he always felt drained. Steve told him it was because he had a hole inside. Maybe the old man was right… Pepper had filled that hole and without her, he just felt empty and incomplete.

“Auto-pilot me back to the carrier,” he said. “Follow War Machine’s flight plan.”

“Systems locked, Sir. Flying in tandem with Colonel Rhodes.”

“Thanks, JARVIS.”

“You are most welcome, Sir.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Talk to yourself, Sir.”

Tony smirked and then tried to relax. He didn’t have to do anymore work until they actually docked back at the carrier.

Time for a nap.

 

. . .

 

“You’ve been moping again,” Natasha pointed out. “You should just sell it.”

“How did you know I was thinking about that?” Tony asked her.

“What am I missing?” Steve asked. He was always so oblivious to their conversations. Tony wasn’t sure if it was merely because Natasha knew him better, she’d stepped into his world for a time, or if Steve just took longer to catch onto things.

“They’re talking about Stark’s house,” Clint said, cluing in Steve. Tony found it interesting that Clint was always the one who took pity on Steve when he was clueless.

“That plus is a mansion,” Steve said. “Why would you sell it? You’ve been waiting for them to finish—“

“Too many memories,” Tony and Natasha said together and then exchanged looks.

“Everything reminds you of Pepper,” Steve said. “Is selling that place really going to solve any problems?”

“You’re right,” Tony said. “Pepper’s everywhere… I just wish I had a second chance…or whatever number of chances it would be.”

“You’re talking about a miracle,” Clint said. “Crazier things have happened.”

“You believe in miracles?” Tony asked Clint. He was pretty shocked that the normally fairly quiet Hawkeye believed in such things.

Clint shrugged. “We’ve seen some pretty unbelievable and freaky shit out there.”

 

“He has a point,” Natasha piped up.

“You two always back each other up,” Tony complained.

“What about you, Cap?” Natasha asked. “Do you believe in miracles?”

“Look at me,” Steve said. “I’m a walking miracle.”

“He’s got a point there,” Clint said. 

Tony gave them a smile, but didn’t know that he believed in miracles. He was sure that some people would say that his life was littered with them. 

Somehow he’d been able to not kill himself or completely ruin himself or the company while being completely smashed. He was fairly sure that he could thank Happy, Pepper, and even Obadiah for that. They’d managed and cleaned up everything. He’d made it out of Afghanistan alive. Tony knew that Yinsen and his ingenuity were thanks to his surviving along with the building of Mark I. Pepper had been responsible for him hanging on then, but he had never told her that. He’d survived Obadiah and really that was thanks to Pepper.

Tony had also survived the palladium poisoning thanks to his dad. Maybe that was one of the biggest ‘miracles’. He’d survived Vanko and Hammer. Happy, Pepper, Natasha, and SHIELD had all been responsible then.

The sky had opened up, aliens had spilled out, and yet the world was still spinning on. He’d fallen back down to Earth after the ‘suicide mission’ with the missile. Somehow he’d lived.

Ghosts from his past had tried to take everything he cherished, but they hadn’t succeeded. He and Rhodey with Harley as back up had saved the world from the terror of the Mandarin’s sham. He’d watched the love of his life fall to her death and yet she came back and took out Killian twice. That was strength, genetics, and science. 

After everything, Tony thought that Pepper loving him after everything they’d been through was the real miracle. She’d seen him in all kinds of low points and high points. She had run the company more capably as CEO in one year than he had the entire time he’d been old enough to take it on. Maybe that was why it hurt so badly. She was his true miracle. 

“Did we lose you again, Stark?” Natasha asked.

“Probably,” Tony admitted.

“You were thinking of her, weren’t you?”

Though Natasha was known as the Black Widow and a badass, and she was, Tony had noticed that she had a softer side. She knew him better than the others, but she did things that made it easier on him. She was serious and yet sarcastic about suicide missions. She didn’t have to ask him ten questions to get it. Natasha never used Pepper’s name. Tony wondered if she knew how much it reopened old wounds every time Steve used it.

He had the nightmares, the pain, the guilt, and the grief anyways…some things just made some of it seem so fresh. Tony knew that he had to take things one day at a time, but a lot of those days were downright paralyzing because of the grief.

“I’m always thinking about her,” Tony explained.

“Fair enough.”

“Maybe you need to do something to honor her memory,” Steve suggested.

“The company did something—“ Tony said, but was interrupted. He didn’t even know what the company did. Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. 

“You need to do something,” Steve insisted. “Something that she would be proud of. Maybe something she wanted you to do, but never got to see.”

Tony knew that Steve was right. He hated it when Steve was right. The man was old fashioned and downright ancient. He and Steve lived in such completely opposite worlds, which was why he figured that they clashed so much. “Maybe you’re right,” Tony said. 

There was silence for a moment and Tony realized that everyone was staring. Their breakfasts were always interesting. “What? I know I’m not always right. I’m fairly sure I’ve admitted it before.” Clint and Natasha seemed amused while Steve just looked confused.

“I’m not sure I entirely understand why that’s so funny,” Steve said.

“I’m Tony Stark,” Tony told him. His name tended to explain a lot most times.

“I still don’t get it.”

“It’s okay, Cap.”

 

. . .

 

Tony didn’t like attachments. They left you vulnerable and made you love them as much as they loved you. Before Pepper (and even Happy), the last people that he’d had any attachment to where his parents…Howard and Maria Stark. They had left such big shoes to fill and thinking back, Tony felt like he’d failed miserably.

Tony hated cemeteries.

He hated rehashing feelings. It was different with Pepper. It wasn’t just the cemetery that reminded him of her. It was everything and every breath he took.

He wasn’t normally one who was nostalgic or who pushed for tradition, but he’d done everything he could in order to have things perfect for Pepper’s funeral. Tony set the red roses he’d brought in front of the gravestone. 

“What can I do, Pep?” Tony whispered and ducked his head when his voice broke. He stayed like that on her knees wishing that she’d respond. He’d been thinking about what Steve had said and had decided that maybe that would soften the pain he felt.

Tony had wracked his mind trying to figure out the best way to honor her memory. Tony was sure that Pepper had had a laundry list of a hundred things she felt he had potential for that he’d never done. He’d never stepped up to the plate. Not in the way that others expected him to do…not unless it had been to build better weapons or to be Iron Man. 

Right now, being Iron Man gave him no sense of purpose. He had a routine and followed orders, but that was it. It wasn’t enough. It was autopilot, if nothing else and he found that lately he’d engage autopilot more and more.

This was it.

This was life he was living. 

He was living and she wasn’t.

It was almost unbearable. Almost. Whatever he did, it needed to bring challenge and change; and above all else had to have been something that she’d have been proud to see him do.

“You know I’m not a genius when it comes to these things,” Tony whispered. “I miss you—“

He broke down into sobs, his hands in the perfectly kept green grass and his forehead pressing against it. All he was thinking was that he’d give anything to reverse their roles. He’d happily have given his life for hers. If there was a God then he was a cruel one and showed absolutely no mercy. Tony felt like if the universe made sense, then he would have been dead decades before. 

“I need you, Pepper…”

Tony didn’t know how long he was like that. He didn’t care. Life wasn’t getting any better for him, even though he pretended that things were easier. 

“Stark, I’m sorry I have to interrupt,” Natasha spoke up.

“This better be a suicide mission,” he said all too seriously.

“She wouldn’t have wanted that,” Natasha replied all too sadly.

And Natasha was right.

Pepper would have wanted him to live. She would have wanted him to be happy. She wanted him to run Stark Industries like he’d been intended to do so long ago. Like his parents had expected. She would have wanted him to do things that he just couldn’t bring himself to do.

“Stark—“

“Tell me how to get past this, Natasha,” Tony said as he straightened himself. He ran his fingers across the words engraved on the stone.

“It’s not something you can get past,” she told him. “You’re going to just learn how to live with the pain. You’ll have to learn now to live with it everyday.”

Tony still didn’t know how anyone could be sane after losing a loved one. Sometimes he still expected to get a call, see her, or hear her. He didn’t. She’d truly left him. 

“This is my last mission and then I need to do something else,” Tony said.

“What are you going to do?” Natasha asked.

“I don’t know yet.”

“Fury’s going to expect that you have some kind of plan,” she told him. “No offense, but we’re all kind of intervention-ed out.”

“I’ve got to live for Pepper,” he said. “That’s all I know…and I think the only way that I’ll stay sane.”

“We really have to go,” Natasha spoke up after a few moments of silence passed between them. 

“I know,” he said sadly. He traced the words on the stone once more. He knew exactly what it said; it was more the reminder that she was really gone.

 

Virginia Stark   
“Pepper Potts”  
1978-2013  
Beloved Wife and Friend

 

The gravestone was a double marker. His name was information would go beside hers. He still felt cheated. They’d only been married a week before the plane explosion. He’d had a hard time getting them to recognize her as ‘Stark’ since the legal marriage papers hadn’t even been officially fully recorded by the county at the time of her death. 

Their marriage had been a secret. It wasn’t that they were ashamed. It had to do with not wanting the media to go crazy. After everything that had happened with the Mandarin, his surgery to remove the shrapnel, and removed Extremis from Pepper…they just needed a break. He wasn’t going to spend another moment without her as his wife, but they’d both agreed that they could do the big party later when they both felt up for it.

That wouldn’t ever happen.

He’d never see Pepper in the white dress… He’d never get to do the traditional ceremony. Tony hadn’t been looking forward to it before, but now he felt like he’d really missed out. What he would give to do it over and say the words: ‘I do’. What he wouldn’t give to have the priest announce that he could kiss his ‘bride’ and announce them ‘Mr. and Mrs. Stark’. 

None of that would ever come.

Tony knew that that was why it all hurt more. And it really hadn’t been fair to the others. No one else had known until the funeral arrangements were being made. Not Bruce or Happy or Rhodey, who were all the closest to him. Natasha hadn’t seemed surprised. She always seemed to know everything, though.

All he wanted was a second chance at that life.

He wouldn’t keep any of it a secret.

He’d shout it from the rooftops.

Now, it all just seemed stupid and childish even though their reasons had been valid. Tony knew that they should have at least told Happy, Rhodey, and the Avengers. They should have celebrated and they should have taken the time to really mark the occasion instead of just going back into work. 

They deserved better.

Pepper had deserved better.

So much better.

Tony got to his feet as he stared at the headstone before looking to his parents’ gravestone which sat right next to his and Pepper’s. He’d set roses out for them first. Looking at both sets of stones, he felt even more alone. 

“I know what to do now,” was all he said before turning and leaving with Natasha.

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	8. Darkest Before the Dawn

The week passed slowly. She’d counted the days by sunrises. Still Killian didn’t allow Bruce to come. She hated Killian even more because of it. He’d mostly left her and Sophia alone to just have Agnes to check in on them though. She was grateful for that at least.

“You love him, don’t you?” Agnes asked.

Agnes’ question had caught her off guard and Pepper wasn’t sure how to respond. She just stared at her for a moment. “You mean—“

“People today are so confusing…” Agnes started. “I know you have a thing for that guy of yours that works with Stark Industries…”

“Tony Stark,” Pepper said with a bit of irritation. She swore that she and Agnes had had this conversation many times. She never remembered and Pepper was still wondering where they were that she didn’t know who Tony Stark was. Her voice got sad then and she looked down at Sophia as she tried to keep from crying. “It was quite serious…but he thinks I’m dead.”

“But Bruce… He’s very nice,” Agnes went on a moment later. “He’s handsome…but quiet…and oh so gentle… And I’ll admit it, sometimes I just want to grab that ass of his!” she said as she made a motion with her hands.

Pepper gasped in shock that she’d just heard that come from the older woman. “Agnes!”

“I can’t help it!”

Pepper just smiled and shook her head.

“I’m right, though, aren’t I?”

“This conversation is not turning into one about Bruce’s—“

“Why not?” Agnes said. 

Pepper was blushing now. “I do like him… Love him… It’s confusing…”

“And he loves this little angel,” Agnes said as she tilted her head towards Sophia. 

“I know,” Pepper whispered as she stared down at Sophia.

“I brought you some things,” Agnes said. 

“You didn’t need to—“

“Hush now,” Agnes said. “I get to see you two far more than my own children… And Sophia is probably the closest I’ll ever get to having a grandchild.”

Pepper waited with Sophia in her arms as Agnes brought over an upholstery bag. It reminded her very much of Mary Poppins’ bag. It almost made Agnes sweeter. “You’re too kind—“

“I could be a better person to you.”

“You’ve taken care of both Sophia and I… I don’t think I could have done this without you… Or dealt with that rude doctor.”

“He does act like he has a stick up his ass,” Agnes muttered as she fussed around in her bag and then looked over at Sophia. “Don’t repeat my words, Little Angel.”

Pepper smirked and was happy that she had someone even if Bruce wasn’t there. It made things a little easier. It kept things from being so lonely…and kept her from being so miserable and scared. 

Agnes pulled out a small quilt made with pink, purple, and white floral fabric squares. The edges were sealed with a pink satin ribbon border. “This is for Sophia…” Agnes told her. She pointed to the bottom square. “I wanted to put her full name, but I didn’t know if you’d given her a middle name…” On a dark purple square located in the bottom corner of the quilt was her information embroidered with pink thread. Agnes had obviously made it.

 

Sophia  
August 9, 2013  
5 lbs 11ozs

 

“It’s very beautiful,” Pepper told her as she looked over the small quilt. “When did you have the time?”

“I started two, to be honest. One for a boy and one for a girl,” Agnes told her. “Since we didn’t know the gender, I figured it was the best option. It didn’t take long after that to finish it off.”

“Thank you, Agnes.”

“Now that little angel will have something special.” Agnes just smiled down at Sophia. Pepper could tell that Agnes really did love Sophia. “I have to say in all my time being a nurse, she has to be the most beautiful baby…”

Pepper couldn’t help but beam at the compliment.

“But I shouldn’t be surprised,” Agnes said. “She takes after her mother.”

“You’re too sweet,” Pepper told her. She didn’t feel beautiful at all. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she needed to bathe. She felt fat, though she was sure that Agnes would scold her for thinking that. 

Agnes pulled out some clothing items. “I figured that you could use a few pieces of clothing that you hadn’t been in already for months…” She continued to pull things out of her bag. A small floral toiletry bag came out next. “And I figured that you deserved a spa day, but this is going to have to do…closest thing we’re going to get out here to one of those…” The last thing that Agnes pulled out was a large manila envelope. “I’ve been keeping clippings for you… I even went through my older papers and clipped some of the stuff since when you first got here. I tried to keep them in order.”

Pepper was a little overwhelmed at everything. She repositioned Sophia so that she could use both arms. Pepper opened the envelope and found that the clippings were all of Stark Industries. Everything she’d missed about the company…about Tony…for months… It was all right there. “Agnes,” she breathed. She looked up at the older woman. “Thank you so much.”

“There’s a few that I think are going to be hard for you. I tried to keep them in order as best as I could,” she said. “Why don’t I take the angel and you can look through them?”

Pepper let her take Sophia and pulled out the stack of clippings. On the very top was a large article. She unfolded it and found a picture of Tony. He was finely dressed, like in most pictures, but she could see sadness there. There behind him was a familiar tower design, but this one was located in Malibu instead of Manhattan.

How she missed him.

The headline read: ‘Tony Stark Kicks Off His Return as CEO of Stark Industries with a New Green Energy Fueled Tower’. She went on to read. They talked about how he’d had a breakdown after her ‘death’ and how he’d slipped back into his alcoholic stupor. The tower was supposed to be a memorial to her. 

Her eyes filled with tears and she didn’t realize that she could miss him so much more. Pepper looked back at the picture. Sure enough, Tony wasn’t standing in front of Stark Tower.

Potts.

Her maiden name was in big letters at the top, instead of it saying ‘Stark’. She remembered when she’d teased him about it when they were finishing up the first tower. She’d never expected a Potts Tower though.

Tears were blurring her vision, but she tried to read on.

‘Mr. Stark commented that his wife, whom he’d nicknamed Pepper, had always taken care of the company even when she was his assistant. Her passing devastated him, but a friend had suggested that he should find a way to honor her memory. He said that was what he was doing in not only the tower, but also with returning as CEO of Stark Industries.’

They went on to say that the Stark Industries board had previously seized full control of the company along with evicting him from Stark Tower’s penthouse. Pepper’s mind raced. The Malibu mansion was still supposed to be under construction as far as she knew. Where had Tony gone? Who had watched over him? What had happened after that? She started to tear through the clippings to find when that had happened. Pepper realized that she really must not have been paying attention to the headlines because she found herself staring at a headstone. She’d seen Howard and Maria Stark’s headstones and they looked almost identical to the one that she was looking at that had her name on one side and the other side was blank. 

She was glad that Agnes had brought them for her, but at the same time, it made her so worried. What was going on with Tony? Was he okay? She knew that he needed her. Tony always needed her. Sometimes he didn’t even know he needed her. Pepper looked back at the picture with him in front of the tower. How much she wished that she could tell him that she loved him. She looked up at where Agnes sat on her bed across the room with Sophia. “If something happened to me—“

“Don’t say something like that!” Agnes said.

Pepper frowned. She was sure that Killian was serious about killing her and Bruce. “I mean it, Agnes,” she said. Pepper pulled out the clipping that had her funeral on it and moved from the bed. She crossed the room the short distance to the table and found a ballpoint pen there. Pepper wrote down a number that she knew they could contact Tony at no matter what or where he was…even if it was just to leave a message. She folded it up and slipped it into Agnes’ bag. “Just…please…humor me. If something happens, call the number I wrote down.”

“Who is it?”

“It’ll get you into the Stark Secure Network line. They’ll be prompts. Just tell Tony that I loved him…that Bruce tried to do what he could. Tell him about Sophia. If Bruce and I are both gone, then he’ll come for her. I don’t care if Killian is her father, he’s not going to raise her…not even with me dead…”

Agnes just stared at her and then nodded slowly. “I can see why things are complicated between you and Bruce…and this Tony.” Agnes shrugged. “He looks rather handsome though too.”

“They’re friends,” Pepper told her. “That probably makes it worse.”

“Sometimes we all need comfort, Pepper,” Agnes told her sagely. “No one can be mad at you because of it. We find love in the most unlikely places.”

 

. . .

 

She missed Bruce.

Nearly two weeks had passed. 

Pepper was starting to think that Killian wasn’t going to let Bruce see her anymore. That hurt to think about. She had Agnes, that was true, but it wasn’t the same. Bruce brought her a different type of comfort. He loved her. She loved him. He adored Sophia. And he reminded her a little bit of Tony… 

“We should really talk to them about letting you walk around outside a bit, it would be good for you,” Agnes told her. “And before winter comes… Once winter hits, you’re going to be inside for months! I’m not going to see you hit rock bottom again! You’ve got to stay mentally and physically well for this little one,” Agnes went on.

Pepper sighed as she thought about how long she’d already been there and how much longer that Agnes acted like she’d be there. She’d remade her bed. Agnes had brought fresh sheets and bedding. It was nice to have a clean place to sleep. 

“You know,” Agnes spoke up. “I’m surprised that Sophia is so well developed. She’s supposed to be eight weeks early. In all other preemies that I’ve seen that were born that early they’ve been on a feeding tube and a ventilator. Not this one. She was small when she was born, but you’re a tiny thing! Could she be full term?”

Agnes regularly went on babbling and she’d tune her out most of the times, but Agnes’ question made her stop and look over at her. “What do you mean?”

“Doctor Bruce didn’t say anything?”

“No,” she whispered. “He said he had theories…” Pepper said and her voice trailed off. Did Bruce think that Sophia was full term? Or was it something else? Why would have had to run tests on her to make sure of that?

“Well, like I said… I’m not a doctor,” she said. “I’m just making an observation.”

Pepper was going to say something when the door to her room was opened. Killian and three guards entered. She stayed where she was, but she didn’t like that Sophia was so far away from her. She knew that Agnes would make sure that nothing would happen to her daughter, but it was still hard. Pepper wondered if he’d come to take Sophia for a bit, he’d done that here and there, but hadn’t come as much lately. She hadn’t complained.

“How are my girls?” Killian said all too cheerily looking between her and Agnes with Sophia.

None of them responded. It was like they’d all been frozen. 

“I’m afraid I’ve been away on business,” Killian told them. He moved towards Agnes and Sophia and touched Sophia’s cheek ever so gently. Pepper wanted to tell him not to touch her, but she remained as calm as she could. She hated it when Killian was present. It made it so much harder to keep from becoming depressed and dark. “Doctor Banner has reported that our little girl is one hundred percent healthy,” Killian said as he looked towards her. “Claire is even gaining some weight, I hear.”

“She is,” Agnes said quietly. 

“And how are you?” he asked as he approached Pepper.

She wanted to move back further, but the bed was there. “I’m fine,” she said as she stared right at him. Killian’s hand lifted and Pepper closed her eyes as she expected to be hit. She just stood there and tried to breathe. Instead, his hand brushed her cheek. She didn’t understand him. Not at all. Normally, he was all for throwing her around and hitting her. Pepper opened her eyes and he was still standing there, standing far too close to her.

“I think it’s time that you and I have a little chat,” he said. Killian turned partly back to Agnes. “Would you mind taking Claire and giving us some privacy?”

Of course, Pepper knew that Agnes wouldn’t say no, but she wished that she didn’t have to be alone. She looked over to Agnes, who was just nodding. “Of course… I’ll keep her safe.” She picked up her bag and wrapped Sophia up in her quilt before leaving the room, being escorted out by the guards. 

Pepper watched him. He was obviously waiting until they were completely alone. She wished that she could run. That she could put some distance between them. She couldn’t. She wanted to ask questions and to beg him to let her go, but she knew that nothing that she said would do her any good.

“I’m giving you this one last chance, Pepper,” Killian said. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he continued as he brushed her cheek again. “I can be gentle…and loving…if you’re willing and accepting…”

“I—“ she tried, but she didn’t know what to say. How did he expect her to love him? How did he expect her to let him touch her willingly? Everything he’d done had been forced on her. 

“For Claire…” he said. “And I thought about a compromise for the name. I know you like Sophia… How about Claire Sophia Killian?” 

She just continued to stare at him.

“You’re not saying anything,” he said getting a little impatient with her.

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. It wasn’t that she was touched and just didn’t know what to say. It was that she was speechless that he thought that she could or would accept him. She couldn’t. She never would. 

“I have that effect on people,” he said and flashed a smile.

He just made her feel sick. She knew he was there for a reason. He couldn’t just possibly be there to tell her that he was giving her another chance. Pepper knew that he had to want something or he wanted to get information or he wanted to hurt her or use her against Bruce. 

“We could have a life together,” Killian continued and ran his fingers along her bare arm. 

Pepper was in one of the cotton nightgowns that her grandmother would have worn. She didn’t have many clothes there and had been waiting to wear the new set that Agnes had brought for her. She felt practically naked there and so vulnerable. “I’d— It would be hard…”

“It doesn’t have to be,” he told her and took both of her arms in his hands. 

“We don’t have trust, Aldrich,” she said, trying to play along and buy some time. She hated calling him by his first name. She remembered that when he had come to Stark Industries to meet with her that even when he insisted that she called him by his first name that she’d still called him by his surname.

“We can work on that.”

“And what about Bruce?” 

“You have feelings for him,” Killian said with irritation. “He’s not going to touch you again.”

“Let him go,” she whispered. 

“No.”

“You don’t need him. Tony thinks I’m dead and no one’s looking for me,” Pepper tried to rationalize.

“And what happens when he runs to Stark?”

“He won’t,” she told him. “I’ll tell him not to.”

“I think I’ll just keep your pet in his cage. He comes in handy here and there… Plus, I’ll need him next time you deliver.”

Pepper just stared at him with wide eyes. “Deliver? I’m not pregnant,” she told him. 

“Not yet.”

“I’m not getting pregnant anytime soon,” she told him. Pepper wondered how crazy he really was. “My body hasn’t even recovered from having the baby… It’s going to take months…”

“My second opinion said that you’re most fertile now,” Killian told her. He pushed her lightly so that she fell back to sit on her bed. “So, we’re going to have another one… I think we should have at least two… Hopefully this one will be a boy.”

Pepper was panicking. She backed up until her back hit the wall. “No… I’m not doing that,” Pepper told him firmly.

“You don’t have a choice in the matter,” he said before he grabbed her leg and yanked her back down, so that her legs hung over the edge of the bed. 

Pepper went to kick him in between the legs, but he caught her leg and flipped her over onto her stomach. She let out a whimper as his grip was too harsh. Extremis seemed to do that. It super powered you and you didn’t know your own strength. “Please! Don’t do this!”

“You’re forcing me,” Killian told her and a moment later, he was pushing her legs open. She could hear his clothes rustling. She was fighting him, but it wasn’t doing any good. His hand had made its way between her thighs and was moving aside her panties. His finger was already probing her, not caring if she was wet. She struggled further, but he didn’t stop. 

“Please, stop…” she cried.

“This is for your own good, Pepper,” he said. He forced himself into her and Pepper let out a blood-curdling scream. She didn’t care that the screams in that house seemed to bounce. She didn’t care who heard her. She needed to be heard. What Killian was doing to her again wasn’t right. 

“Please…” she cried again. “Stop…”

“You’re going to be mine or you’re going to be dead,” Killian told her.

Then kill me.

 

. . .

 

He’d left her discarded on the floor. Her nightgown and panties were ripped. She hadn’t moved since he’d left. 

No one had returned.

Not Agnes.

Not Sophia.

Not Bruce.

No one.

Pepper felt like she was going to die. She’d survived a month of him raping her, but this was different. He’d been so much angrier at her and she hurt so much more. She hated him with such passion; she hadn’t ever hated anyone that much in her whole life.

Pepper didn’t know how much time had passed, but the sun eventually set and darkness overtook the outside world. She could see that from where she lay on the window. The whole room turned dark with it. No one had come or returned. Pepper was fairly sure that he wasn’t going to bring her back to her. At least not that night. She hadn’t done what Killian had wanted. She hadn’t played along to be his perfect ‘wife’ or whatever he expected her to be. Her breasts felt so full, though, and they ached so badly. She knew that it was time for Sophia to eat. It only worried her more and made her panic. 

What did Killian really intend to do with her daughter?

She’d never been away from Sophia for so long.

It made it all so much harder. 

But she didn’t move.

She just lay there.

Pepper felt broken.

 

. . .

 

The door opened…

Pepper didn’t know if it was the next morning or if more time had passed.

She just didn’t know.

He walked in and hovered over her.

She didn’t care.

Pepper knew that no matter what, he’d keep hurting her.

“I want Extremis back,” she found herself whispering.

“You know how risky it is,” Killian told her as he continued to stand over her, staring down at her. “I’m not prepared to lose you.”

But she wanted to die.

If she was gone, then Agnes could call Tony… Bruce would be saved…and Tony, she knew, would take care of Sophia for her. He’d provide her with the life that she wouldn’t be able to give her. He’d keep her safe.

“Please…” she begged. “I’ll make me stronger… You want another child, but I don’t think I’m strong enough…” Pepper didn’t know why the words were coming out of her mouth, but she didn’t seem to be able to stop them. She really didn’t want Extremis back, but if it would help keep Killian away from her then she was okay with that. 

“We can talk about it tomorrow… I’ll ask the doctor,” Killian promised.

She didn’t move.

He bent down and scooped her up. He dropped her in a heap on the bed and stripped her completely, leaving the torn nightgown and panties on the edge of her bed. He positioned her like he had before, face down and legs over the bed so that her feet touched the floor. 

She was so broken.

Killian moved between her legs and thrust into her without a second thought. She just lay there and wished for it to be over. After he worked up a slowly rhythm, he reached out and pulled her hair out of the bun and ran his fingers through it. He moved it to one side and wrapped his arms around her body and bent over her until his lips were at her ear. “I’m going to make sure we have our child, Pepper… Another perfect being… I’d rather you have Extremis in you, but I won’t risk it if it’s not necessary… Just imagine how strong our child will be,” he went on. He kept thrusting the whole time and occasionally he’d moan or grunt. “Our children will be the new race…”

She didn’t care about anything he said.

She wanted to die.

When he finally finished, he moved her, so that she was on her back on the bed. Pepper watched in silence as he took her nightgown and used it to wipe himself clean before throwing it back on the bed beside her. “Tomorrow, we’ll talk about Extremis,” Killian said.

 

. . .

 

It was warm, but there was a breeze. The sun was shining from high above, warming her skin. Pepper was stretched out in her suit on a towel on the beach. She had sunglasses on and was suddenly enveloped by comforting arms. She rolled onto her side and smiled at Tony and his beaming smile. Her hand trailed down his bare chest as she leaned in to kiss him.

“Mom! Mom!” 

“Always interrupting,” Tony mock complained.

Pepper smiled and sat up. She turned until she saw the pale little girl running towards her, her scarlet locks were neatly braided into two braids, and she was clad in a purple ruffle swimsuit. Her blue eyes shone and freckles adorned her face. Bruce was trailing behind Sophia. The little girl launched herself at them and kicked up sand as she fell into their arms. Pepper and Tony wrapped Sophia up in their arms. 

“There’s our girl,” Tony said. He looked up at Bruce and held out an open arm to him. “Come on, are you really going to let a girl beat you back?” he teased.

Pepper held out her arm as well and felt the biggest rush of emotion hit her. Happiness. Joy. Comfort. Love. Unconditional and Unending. It was so special and so perfect. It was something that she’d never experienced before…that kind of love. She knew that she was safe and that she was loved and that nothing could change that… 

“Can we go home now?” Sophia asked. “You promised that we could eat mango!”

“I do remember that,” Bruce spoke up.

Pepper could see Sophia grinning even in their embrace. This was her family. These were the people that she would do anything for—

“Mommy! Daddy! Papa! Wait!”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	9. Broken

“Pepper!” 

She could hear him. He was calling her name. He was frantic. His hands were gentle as they moved her and checked her. 

“Pepper!”

She could hear his sobs and feel his tears as they hit her skin. She wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now. Days had passed and Sophia still hadn’t been brought back. Killian wasn’t going to let her see her daughter now… 

“Pepper, please,” he begged. 

He was cradling her now, wrapping her up in a blanket. He was staring into her eyes and though she loved him dearly, she wished that he didn’t see her. 

“I’m sorry,” Bruce croaked. “I promised—“ He bowed his head and her heart broke more than it already had since she’d been there. 

She didn’t blame him. 

“Sophia,” Pepper finally breathed.

“I haven’t seen her,” he told her as he caressed her cheek. “I’m sure Agnes is taking good care of her though.” He sounded confident and she wanted to believe that. The older woman had been so good to her and Sophia; she hated to think anything bad of her. That she knew what was going to happen. 

He rocked her for a long while before he spoke up again. “Let me run you a bath,” he whispered. His tears were still falling and hitting her, running along her skin, before they eventually fell to the sheets beneath her.

“Shower,” Pepper countered quietly.

“Are you going to be able to stand okay?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. 

Pepper didn’t care; she wanted to be in the shower. She wanted to lie in the bottom of the shower and just let the water wash everything away. 

He didn’t argue any further. Bruce was gentle and careful as he unwrapped her from the blanket and carried her to the bathroom. She felt like she could live in his arms. He always radiated comfort and security. She was sure that he was beating himself up inside even if she didn’t blame him for anything. 

Killian was to blame.

“I love you,” she whispered as she watched him as the lights were turned on in the bathroom. He was hurt and upset and terrified and so much more. She wondered if she looked that bad off or if he was worried about the future. If he was worried about them and if he was worried about Sophia…even after he’d sounded so confident. 

“No,” Bruce whispered. He moved the curtain and turned on the warm water. Carefully he set her on her feet right outside of the shower and she clung to him for support. She didn’t know how long it had been since she’d actually stood on them. “You love Tony,” he told her.

Pepper stared at him. She was confused. Why was he saying it like that? He’d told her before that he loved her. “Bruce,” she whispered and her voice broke.

“Let’s get you into the shower before it gets cold,” Bruce said and guided her in. 

Pepper took hold of the old tiled wall and stood in the water and let the tears fall. She loved them both. She knew it might not make sense. She didn’t even know how to properly explain it, but she loved them both. Tony and Bruce. It was complicated, but then when were any of their lives simple? They were both handsome and smart and they both loved her. Tony was far more driven and they had a special bond… Tony also drove her crazy, in many ways. But Bruce, he cared for her in ways that Tony didn’t. He was sweet and had taken care of her. 

“I didn’t fight back,” she whispered. She knew he was still there. Bruce wouldn’t go, not even if she yelled at him to do so. Pepper felt like she was waking up a bit more as the water hit her. It didn’t help things… It made it reality. She didn’t think she could cope with it. Not anymore. Killian had done this to her before…and it had taken her months to feel anywhere close to not hating the world…

Killian wanted to break her.

Maybe he had.

She felt broken.

“Pepper—“

“I tried and then I stopped…I just laid there…” she whispered as her words became sobs. Pepper sunk down into the bottom of the bath/shower and just let the water wash over her. She wanted to be clean, but right now…she just couldn’t do anything. She just wanted to cry… 

She wanted to die.

She knew that she could…

Agnes would call Tony and he’d find Bruce and Sophia and take care of them… He would mourn her loss again, but she thought maybe that was better. She was damaged...maybe broken… She still wasn’t sure… He’d broken something inside of her, though, and she wasn’t sure if it could ever be fixed.

“I want to say something to make it better, but I know there’s nothing I can say,” Bruce said softly. “This isn’t your fault… Killian did it.”

“I let him—“

“No, you didn’t!” Bruce said quickly. “He knew that you didn’t want him…that you didn’t love him…that you hated him… He did this to hurt you…he did it for his own selfish reasons…and he did it to hurt others…”

“How could it hurt others?” she asked, but she didn’t care. Pepper was busy thinking about how he might come back… Killian might come back again… He would do it all again. He would hurt her and force himself into her… 

“He knows I love you,” Bruce whispered. She could hear pain in his voice. “He knew that this would hurt me…seeing you like this…and maybe I’m the one responsible…”

He said he loved her…

Pepper could hear the curtain being pulled open. Maybe she more time had passed after what he’d said than she realized? Pepper didn’t know. Bruce had seen her naked before, so it wasn’t like it was shocking. She knew he could trust him. 

“He knows something else…” Bruce said as he sat in the space between the tub and toilet. “Something that I was waiting to tell you… I had to be sure…”

Pepper didn’t know what could be so important that Killian would hurt her because of it. She closed her eyes and just let the tears continue to fall. 

“Pepper, I need you to look at me while I tell you this…”

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered.

“It’s about Sophia…”

And that was all he had to say.

Pepper turned to look up at him. He held out an arm to her and she sat up a little straighter and moved towards him. She stayed out of reach of him, though. She trusted Bruce, but she didn’t feel like being touched right now. She didn’t feel clean…not clean enough.

“The tests that I ran… Some of them were about Sophia’s health, which she passed them fine… She’s healthy… But she’s not Killian’s daughter,” Bruce whispered. 

Sophia wasn’t Killian’s… 

Pepper tried to put together what Bruce was telling her. 

“But—“

“Sophia wasn’t premature… Agnes and I kept just saying that because she was small…and we didn’t know… I had a feeling when she was born, but I didn’t want to get your hopes up,” Bruce told her. “Sophia is yours and Tony’s daughter… I had kept it a secret, but that other doctor came into my lab space and found the results. He told Killian…”

Killian knew…

How long had he known? 

Is that why he hadn’t let her have Sophia back? 

Is that why he’d become so insistent that he got her pregnant?

“I gave…” she started and then stopped. She just stared off into space for a moment as she tried to think coherently. The news was spectacular…but she also didn’t know where her daughter was… Agnes didn’t know or didn’t know for sure that Sophia was Tony’s… “I gave Agnes instructions last time I saw her… To call Tony using the number I gave her… To tell him that I love him… He’ll come for you,” she said as she looked at Bruce. “And he’ll come for Sophia… No matter what, he’ll take care of her…”

“He’s going to come for you then, too…”

Pepper shook her head. “I told her to do it if something happened to me…”

“I might not have kept him from putting his hands on you again—“

“I want you to kill me, Bruce,” she whispered. She was deadly serious. Pepper didn’t know if it was just the pain talking. She wanted to see Sophia again. Sophia was light in her dark world… 

“No!” he yelled.

“I’m broken,” she whispered through tears as she stared at him. 

“You’re not,” he argued.

Pepper moved towards him, she slowly reached out to touch his face. She was hesitant at first. “You’ll find her… Sophia… You’ll help Tony find her… You two will make sure that she’s loved…”

“I’m not going to do it, Pepper…” he said and tears were falling down his face.

“Bruce,” she whispered. “Sweet Bruce…”

“The Hulk… I can do it… I’m sure I can,” he whispered, almost a pleading. “He can smash down the wall and we can leave… We can search every room in this place… We can go… I know that I can do it…”

“Bruce—“

“Shower and then I’ll show you… We’ll find Sophia and I’ll take you both home,” he told her. “Please…”

She didn’t know what to believe, but she washed herself. She felt better, but she still felt damaged. Pepper dried and changed into the clothes that Agnes had brought her. She pulled on the simple white shoes that she had and waited. 

And she watched as he tried. He tried for a long while to try to prove that he could do it. He screamed and cried out and she knew that he was frustrated and angry at himself for not being able to do it. At one point, she remembered that he’d mumbled something about how they’d given him another shot…that it had to be the reason why he couldn’t change now. Pepper finally got up and approached him from where he had collapsed on the floor. She sat down behind him and stroked his arm. “It’s okay…” she whispered. “We’re going to be okay…”

We have to be.

 

. . .

 

“I should really thank you two.”

Pepper just stared up at him in shock. Had he just said those words? Was she hallucinating? Was this another twisted ploy? She didn’t know what to think. All she knew was that Aldrich Killian meant to kill them both…no matter how sweet he tried to seem at times.

“Why?” Bruce spoke up, he sounded weary and even a little broken.

She was sure that he was both emotionally and physically drained after he’d taken care of her and then tried to morph into the Hulk…and then nothing had happened. She knew he was disappointed, but she knew that he’d survive…and he’d survive long enough until Tony came to rescue them.

“Because of your insistence on running tests of your own… I had Doctor Bruhan run some tests for me… It seems like I can’t have children of my own… He hasn’t decided if it’s a side effect of Extremis or if I’ve always been like that…”

“So, you’re sterile…” Bruce said flatly. “Too bad you didn’t have that checked before you raped Pepper…” His words dripped with venom and he sounded nothing like the Bruce she knew and loved. 

Killian only seemed amused by Bruce’s comment. “Pepper and I had fun, didn’t we?”

She didn’t say anything. She tried not to react. She just stared up at him. Maybe he had broken her. Pepper just didn’t think that anything would come of responding to him in any way. He didn’t need any satisfaction from feeling like he’d broken her…

“You bastard—“ Bruce started and he started to get up from where he’d been on the floor, but Pepper held him in place. There was nothing more she’d love to see then Bruce smashing Killian’s face in. Unfortunately, she didn’t think that was going to happen without the Hulk’s help…and she didn’t want to see him get hurt.

Killian smirked. “Doctor Banner… I was just about to tell you how I was going to let you go…”

“You’re going to let us go?” Bruce asked suddenly looking as shocked as she felt.

“What about Sophia?” she asked.

“I’ll tell you where she is,” Killian said. “Don’t worry… Even though she’s Stark’s, I’ve ensured that she’s been well cared for… I love you, Pepper… Even if things haven’t worked out between us…”

“So, let us go…” Bruce said. 

“You have to do something first.”

She knew there was a catch.

There was always a catch.

“What?” Bruce asked before she could.

She didn’t care what it was. She’d do anything to be able to at least see Sophia one last time and know that she was safe. She knew that Bruce would keep her safe if she couldn’t…and Tony would too… 

Tony was a father…

He didn’t even know.

He didn’t even know that either of them existed.

“I finally decided that even though I want revenge on Stark and that I would love nothing more than to destroy him…to kill him… It’s far more thrilling to watch his life crumble around him… So, if I’m to give him back his wife and best friend—“ Killian stopped suddenly.

Bruce looked between her and Killian.

Pepper hadn’t told him. No one was supposed to know, but she’d seen the gravestone…she’d seen the papers… She didn’t know how Bruce didn’t know… He had been out in the world long enough before Killian had taken her. She was sure that there was some reason, though. 

“Oh…you didn’t know…” Killian said with mock upset. “I’m sure she meant to tell you…”

She ducked her head and tried to contain her tears. Pepper didn’t need this from him. Hadn’t he caused her enough upset and heartache? Hadn’t he made her ashamed of herself in so many ways? Wasn’t that enough? 

“I want Stark to know that you’re not his… Like you’re not mine,” Killian went on. “Before you leave, Doctor Banner has to get you pregnant…and I’m going to tape it all for Stark.” He pointed out to the small cameras that were installed in the bedroom. “He can watch as you two violate his love and trust… I’m sure it’ll be a nice present after he gets over the joy of finding out that you’re both alive and that he has a daughter…”

“You can’t mean it,” Bruce said.

“I’m absolutely serious… You get Pepper pregnant… I’ll let you both go and let you collect the child,” Killian told them. 

“You’re trying to break us.”

“Of course.”

Pepper felt panic surge through her. He meant to break them. To break them in every way. He wanted to take away everything she had left and everything she had lost. Pepper had had a hard enough thinking about how she’d break it to Tony that Killian was Sophia’s father…she didn’t know how she’d tell him that Killian raped her…and then forced her to get pregnant and his best friend was the father… She was already damaged… Pepper didn’t know if Killian was really just hoping that she’d commit suicide finally…or if he really just hoped that he broke all three of them…

Pepper raised her head to look at him again. “No,” she whispered.

Agnes had to call.

She just had to hope that Agnes would call Tony.

“Are you really going to sacrifice all of your lives, Pepper?” Killian said and he moved in closer. “It’s an easy thing I’m asking from you… You just lay there and let him do all the work.”

Pepper was screaming inside and hysterical. She kept a tight hold on Bruce, her fingers digging into his arm as she held him in place. She was barely holding the tears back. Pepper finally bowed her head and let the tears fall, but hoped that Killian didn’t see them.

“I’ll let you both think about it,” Killian said. She heard his footsteps. “I’m sure you miss your little one… Think about her, if nothing else… Imagine her being motherless.”

And then he was gone.

She lost it. Pepper let the sobs come and moved closer to Bruce, she screamed into his back and let her tears dry on his shoulder. It wasn’t the thought of being with Bruce in that way, it was the fact that she didn’t think she could handle it… She loved him, she did…but she had a hard enough time with him touching her here and there… 

 

. . .

 

“Say something,” he whispered.

Pepper didn’t know how much time had passed. It had been light out when Killian had come in and now it was pitch black. They hadn’t moved hardly an inch. Her forehead was on his shoulder and she was sure that she couldn’t cry any more. He hadn’t touched her, but she knew that his had had hovered here and there. 

“Pepper…”

“We have to,” Pepper barely whispered. “I want to see her… I have to see her…”

Deep down inside, she really just wanted to die. 

Pepper didn’t think she could face Tony. 

As much as she wanted to see him…to have his arms around her and have him whisper comforting words into her ear. That’s all she wanted. For just a moment. But she couldn’t face him and tell him everything…the fear of him rejecting her and looking at her with pity was too much. She never disappointed anyone…not like this…

“At least one last time,” she whispered.

“Stop saying it like that,” Bruce said, upset obvious in his tone. “I’m not killing you…and I’m not letting you die…”

She looked up at him. He was staring at her. She wondered how long he’d been doing that. It was hard. She loved him. Pepper wanted to have time…time to process… She needed the time to cope and heal… Killian wasn’t giving her that time. Pepper knew that she could do what she needed to do though in order to ensure that her daughter made it to Tony…that she was safe…

“He’s not going to love me anymore…” she breathed and felt another sob gurgling up. 

“I know Tony,” Bruce told her. “He loves you…more than life… This isn’t going to change how he feels about you… Nothing will. Nothing.”

Pepper just stared at him. “How can you know that?” 

“Because I love you. I know everything that’s happened… I know that you love Tony. Now, I know you’re married… I know that you want to be with Tony… And I still love you,” Bruce told her. She could see it in his eyes that he meant it. “Tony’s loved you longer…probably longer than either of you realizes…”

“Bruce—“

“Are you listening to me? Tony loves you. I love you. Nothing is going to change…except maybe me going to a third world country once you’re home,” Bruce told her.

“Don’t say that…”

“Then don’t tell me to kill you…or act like you’re going to die… That’s not going to happen,” Bruce told her. “And why didn’t you tell me that you and Tony got married?”

“At first I assumed you knew,” Pepper said. “You told me that Tony was a mess… I knew you had to have been with him…”

“I was,” Bruce said. “But where I was… There was a storm and they wouldn’t let my plane leave… No planes were taking off or coming in… I didn’t get back in time for the funeral… By then, I just didn’t visit your grave… I stayed with Tony… I made sure he didn’t do anything stupid. He never said anything. He hardly spoke to me.”

“Tony and I had kept it a secret,” Pepper told him. “It seems so stupid now. We wanted space from the media…and the world… And then I was taken a week later…” She bowed her head. “We’d planned on asking you to come in, to ask all of the Avengers in… To throw a big celebration… We wanted you all to know first…”

“Is that why you feel like you need to die?” Bruce asked. He sounded so sad. 

Pepper shook her head. “You don’t understand…”

“Explain it to me.”

“Killian—“

“Don’t let him win.”

“How can Tony love me after—“

Bruce reached out and hovered his hands on either side of her face. He didn’t touch her though. He was being so good about trying to not push her. “I told you,” he said. “He’s going to still love you…”

“He did it before…and that was so hard…”

“You were alone for a long time then,” Bruce told her. “What helped you get through it then?”

“You,” she admitted and pulled his hands to her face, letting hers rest on top of his. She closed her eyes and raised her face up. “And then Sophia… You both made it brighter… You kept me anchored…”

“Let me do it again,” he whispered.

She opened her eyes and she knew what she was going to do was going to be hard. She wasn’t ready. She knew she wasn’t ready, but she knew that above all else, that she could trust Bruce. He wouldn’t hurt her… He’d be sweet and overly gentle. Pepper moved forward and their lips met for the first time in what seemed like so long. 

“Pepper…” he breathed as he pulled away. “We can’t…”

“We have to,” she argued. “He said—“

“And what if he’s lying? Will you regret it?”

She didn’t know.

“No.”

She really didn’t know.

“Pepper, your body hasn’t even completely healed…” Bruce pointed out. “Not from having Sophia…” He was quieter then. “And not from Killian… You need time to heal after that, Pepper…”

“Stop talking like a doctor,” she scolded lightly and tried to be persistent. She wanted to go home. No matter how much she was screaming to stop inside, she couldn’t. Pepper had to push her boundaries. She wanted to hold Sophia back in her arms. She got close to kissing him again, but he stopped her. 

“Pepper…”

“Don’t make me stop,” Pepper told him.

“You need to,” Bruce told her. “We can’t…”

“What about Sophia?”

“Agnes will call—“

“When?”

Bruce was quiet and then he finally answered. “I don’t know…”

“If I conceived now…how long until it would show on a test?” Pepper asked him. 

“You’re not even on a cycle yet… There’s no way—“

“Bruce,” she whispered. “How long? The longest?”

“The longest? A month…maybe six weeks…”

“He said I was the most fertile now…was he right?”

“This isn’t my field,” Bruce told her. “We’re lucky I managed to do the C-section. I swear, Agnes did most of the work…”

“Bruce—“

“I don’t know.”

Pepper stared at him. “I love you… Can’t that be enough right now?”

“I want to say yes, but—“

Her lips cut off his argument and her hands were all over him. She wasn’t going to let him say no. Pepper was fairly sure that if she could make it through most of it, then he wouldn’t stop…no matter if she broke down or not. 

Bruce’s hands were suddenly on her and he felt so right and he was so gentle. She suddenly felt guilty. Pepper couldn’t let that interfere with what she was doing. She had to push herself… Bruce didn’t seem to need much more motivation. One of his hands was running along her spine, under her shirt. Pepper unbuttoned his shirt quickly; she knew that if she didn’t move fast that she’d end up stopping. She couldn’t stop. She had to think of Sophia. 

“Pepper…” he breathed into her ear. 

Her eyes closed and Pepper pushed herself to focus. She didn’t to talk… She couldn’t slow things down. Pepper pushed his clothes away from his body, while her lungs felt like they were squeezing shut. Panic was rising within her. 

“The bed,” he whispered.

“No,” she told him and straddled his legs and gently pushed him down towards the floor, using her body to weight him down and her hand to cushion his head. Killian had raped her over and over again on that bed… She wouldn’t add this memory to it. Her lips took command of his while her hands moved to undue his pants. Pepper didn’t know how much longer she could push herself. 

All she wanted to do was scream.

But she loved him.

Which was why it hurt so much.

Pepper just hoped that he wouldn’t hate her for what she was doing. 

“We should stop,” he whispered after pulling his lips free from hers. 

“Stop talking,” she told him and started to tug his pants down. She was determined. Pepper kissed his neck and tried to concentrate on his skin and his scent instead of the tears that desperately wanted to fall. Pepper felt his hands on her hips and she wondered if he’d really let her go the whole way… He kept giving her ‘outs’ and she knew that she should take them. 

She couldn’t.

She had to do this.

It took her longer than she expected, but she managed to get his pants off and her pants off. She pressed her body against his and her lips were on his again. Pepper was trying to keep him silent. She was afraid that he’d try to stop her again. 

“I love you, Pepper,” he whispered against her lips.

And it made what she was doing so much harder for her. She pulled down his boxers down as far as she really needed them to go and then discarded her own. “I love you,” she whispered and then discarded her shirt as well. Pepper moved until she was in position and then slowly eased down. Her eyes squeezed shut and she struggled to keep the tears hidden, she looked up towards the ceiling. Her hands ran along his body. She pulled in a heavy breath and pushed out quiet sounds that she was sure that would ease Bruce’s worries. 

She did what every women knew how to do.

She faked it.

Pepper worked up the rhythm, but Bruce was so sweet. He wasn’t interested in this being just a casual fuck or one-night-stand. She knew that he cared about her. His hands were gentle on her skin. His touches were caresses. His lips were on her. Bruce removed her bra and it was tossed aside. His hands were gentle as they moved to her breasts and her nipples. 

She faltered.

The rhythm slowed and she found his hand in her hair and he was slowly rolling them both. Pepper was underneath him and though panic set in again, but he pushed it all away. This wasn’t sex for him. His mouth was on her nipple and his other hand was down between them. It was a slow realization and it broke the dam inside of her. Tears flooded her face and he kissed them away. 

He was making love to her.

This wasn’t just about Killian or getting out of there…or Sophia… This was about them. This was about how much he loved her… It had been so long since someone made love to her… The tears still fell. She didn’t know at that point if they were truly sad…or if they were happy… All she knew was that she needed to shed them. 

“I love you,” he barely whispered. 

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	10. Promises Kept

“I wish you’d say something.”

This was how it always was.

She’d be quiet all morning long and he’d worry that he’d done something wrong. Pepper just really needed the time to cope with what she’d done the night before. She needed the time to tell herself that it was okay. She needed the time to remind herself that he’d beat himself up. 

“It’s been four weeks…I think,” she whispered and looked back at him.

“I know,” he told her.

“She’s going to forget me.”

“Sophia is going to love you and never want to let you go,” Bruce told her.

She didn’t think it was true.

She never did.

He told her that every morning.

She still worried. 

She worried too much.

Pepper was well aware of that fact. 

It didn’t help. 

She still worried.

Pepper stared out the window and wondered if she would ever leave that building. Would they ever let her feel the sun upon her skin again? Would she feel the grass beneath her feet? The breeze? Was she going to be stuck in that building until Killian did decide to kill her? So many things ran through her head.

If she and Bruce conceived a child…would she love it? She loved him. She loved Sophia. But this child that Killian wanted them to have together…it wasn’t part of what she wanted. It was only a key to their cage. If it even worked. But how far was that? To the child? To Bruce? To Sophia? To Tony? And even to herself? 

“Stop thinking,” he whispered behind her. 

He was trying to distract her…and sometimes it worked. 

Bruce made her feel normal for a time.

Not today.

“I can’t,” she told him and looked back at him. “All I can think about—“

“You, me, Tony, Sophia…another child,” Bruce recited. “You will still be the center of everyone’s world…” 

She smiled a little. Maybe it was working. Just a little bit. “You make me sound spoiled or something,” she told him as she shook her head.

“No,” Bruce told her. “You’re just the center of some peoples’ universes… You’re an anchor…that we all need…”

“I don’t feel like an anchor,” she told him truthfully. Pepper ran her fingers through his hair. It was getting so long. 

“You anchor me.”

She stared at him. “I’m out of control…you’re the one who anchors me,” Pepper said. She just stared at him amazed at what he had said. She still didn’t believe it. Pepper couldn’t anchor him, not when she felt like she had absolutely no control over her life… 

“My love for you… Your love for me… That’s what keeps me going… That’s what keeps me sane,” Bruce clarified. “You’re my anchor… I can get through anything for you…”

 

. . .

 

A month passed and nothing. She wasn’t pregnant. Killian had seemed amused. She felt upset and guilty and like there was something wrong with her. It was still hard to be touched. Sometimes she’d start to cry halfway through, but she’d always tell Bruce not to stop… He’d always start to pull out, though, and she’d have to keep him in. She was determined. 

Pepper just hoped that she didn’t regret it later.

She knew that it was so hard on Bruce, but she’d insisted. He was apparently unable to deny her this… Pepper often wondered if the idea of having a child with her made him feel like he could possibly have a normal life… She knew that his life had been lonely… Pepper didn’t know how he could live how he’d been forced to live… 

“Is it sad that I miss people chasing me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she replied evenly.

“What do you miss?”

“Everything.”

“Specifically?”

She smiled. It always made them both sad when they did this, but it also tended to remind them what they were looking forward to. “I miss Tony… I miss taking coffee to Tony while he’s tinkering…”

“You know you’re not his assistant anymore. You don’t have to do that.”

Pepper smiled wider. “I know… But I love doing it… And I miss paperwork…”

“I think you hit your head,” Bruce said a bit seriously.

“I miss Happy… I miss everyone…”

He reached out and brushed the hair away from her face. “I’m going to miss these moments…”

Bruce had a plan for when they were released…once they had Sophia and they were home. He’d told her about it and she’d heard him talking in his sleep. He was going to lecture Tony about how to take care of her and threaten him if he didn’t…and then he was going to disappear… Bruce had said that he wasn’t sure what to do about a child if they had one. It wasn’t good for the child to be associated with him, but at the same time…he didn’t want to be an absentee father. But he’d insisted that they would be all safer if he disappeared into the backwoods of a third world country. 

“We’re going to have more…”

“I wish that things were different,” Bruce said.

“I wish that all the time…and you always remind me that things can be,” Pepper told him firmly. She touched his face. “You won’t leave me… You’ve promised to stay with me…”

“But you’ll have Tony…”

“Maybe.”

“You will.”

Pepper stared at him. “If I begged you to stay, would you still go?”

“No.”

“Then I won’t have to worry about it…”

“Pepper—“

“I love you. Don’t you dare forget that…”

 

. . .

 

The nightmare wasn’t what woke her, but rather her own screams filling her own ears. Bruce was there, his hands were there on her arms but she pulled away. This had been her struggle with him. If she was awake and fully conscious, she could handle it…but not always. She’d pushed herself too fast and she felt almost fragmented…like a broken mirror… 

“You’re okay, Sweetheart,” he whispered. 

She could feel him hovering. 

Catching her breath was something that took far too much time for her liking. The nightmares always felt real to her… Bruce had told her that she’d cry softly at first and if he was sleeping, it really wouldn’t register with him until she was screaming and sitting up. Her hand was on her chest and she could feel her heart, which felt like it was going to beat out of her chest at any moment. She looked over at him and he looked so helpless and so guilty. No matter what she said, he never seemed appeased that her nightmares weren’t in some part his fault…

“I…”

“Shh…” she managed to get out.

She realized that she was sweating too, which made her feel a little sick as she started to chill. Pepper looked down and then closed her eyes. She tried to focus on breathing. In and out. In and out. When her nightmares tried to replay, she tried to push them away. For something that had happened months before, the memory of Killian on top of her was so vivid. Disgustingly so. 

“Pepper…”

“Don’t say it,” she whispered and opened her eyes. She looked over at him again. He had insisted that she sleep on the bed even though she didn’t want to. He hadn’t wanted her sleeping on the floor and Agnes’ bed had been removed at one point. Killian really hadn’t wanted her to have one good night of sleep. Every night, Bruce would fall asleep holding her hand and he’d sleep sitting up leaning against the side of the bed. She’d ask him to hold her, but she was fairly sure that how upset she’d be by the time it was time to sleep was enough to keep Bruce from ever doing it. She always imagined that it wouldn’t be so bad if she fell asleep in his arms.

“We shouldn’t be intimate in the first place,” Bruce said.

And she just couldn’t listen to it.

Pepper got up and half fell out of bed, her legs had gotten tangled, but Bruce had caught her. She’d batted his hands away a moment later and then felt the tears come on. She hadn’t meant to—

“Pep, please… Let me take care of you how I did before…” Bruce begged.

“I just need space,” she told him. Space was hard when they were in the small room. It normally resulted in one of them taking a long shower. That was her plan. He wouldn’t bother her there, no matter how loudly she cried or screamed… 

And that’s what she did. 

She stripped and started the water. She didn’t wait, but just stepped in and pulled the curtain shut. Pepper was in the bottom of the shower/tub curled up under the water a moment later. She hated Killian so much for what he’d done to her. Pepper had had enough trouble bearing loving Tony and Bruce…but then Killian had used her again… He’d made her feel dirty, damaged, and so broken… He’d taken all of her control away…

And now this…

Pepper felt like she was some other person. Bruce would try to comfort her, but no level of comfort seemed to help… The nightmares still came and she still pulled away from his touch. She still screamed in the night and sobbed in the morning. She was out of control. She hated it. She hated feeling vulnerable and hysterical. 

Before the sobs could even erupt fully from her, there was a scream. It was loud, angry, and primal. And she knew that it was Bruce. Pepper moved quicker than she really should have and slipped and fell into the wall as she got out of the tub/shower. She grabbed the towel and barely held it around herself as she opened the door.

Bruce was in the middle of the room kneeling and his head was down. A scream came again and she watched as his shirt began to rip. 

The Hulk…

Whatever Killian gave him, it really wasn’t something permanent. No one had come in to administer anything to him the entire time they’d been there. Did it take that long to wear off? He pounded down at the floor and she could see the contrast between his greening skin and the light color of his shirt. 

They were going home…

Bruce’s head fell back and another scream escaped from him.

Before Bruce could transform any further, the door flung open and ten guards entered with guns. Killian was with them and stabbed Bruce with what looked like some large antique needle, injecting him with something. She assumed that it was whatever he’d come up with to keep the Hulk contained. He pulled something from his pocket and threw it to her. It landed on the floor at her feet. 

She didn’t need to look down to know what it was.

She knew what it was.

“Hurry up… I’d like to see positive results… I’m sure the video I have is more than enough to drive Stark over the edge… Maybe he’ll kill you both…or just Banner…” Killian said in amusement. 

They all left.

They took Bruce with them.

There really wasn’t much choice. She picked up the box and followed the instructions and just waited. Once the result appeared, she set the stick on top of the box near the door and then sat in the corner between the wall and the bed…and waited.

 

. . .

 

She was shoved out of a van and found herself in the dirt beside the road. A road that was made solely of dirt. No asphalt or concrete. She was really in the middle of nowhere. By the time she got up, another van pulled up and Bruce rolled out of it. 

Killian had kept his word

But where was Sophia? He hadn’t told her anything. Pepper looked to Bruce who was now on his feet and didn’t look too worse for wear. “Did he say anything about Sophia?”

“I thought he’d say something to you…” Bruce said slowly. 

Tears sprung anew. Pepper looked around wildly. All that was there was a dirt road, tall grass that went on forever, and a setting sun. “How-- Where are we?” she asked as she looked around. She had to assume that wherever the road led that it would bring them to Sophia and that she’d be safe with Agnes. 

“It looks like the Midwest,” Bruce told her. “But I could be wrong…” He motioned to the farmhouse in the distance. “Those are usually good indicators…”

“Maybe they have a phone…”

“Let’s just hope someone still lives there.”

The farmhouse was in the far distance and there was no way to know from the road if anyone still lived there. Bruce started towards it first and Pepper reluctantly followed. She watched as he fidgeted and itched. “Bruce?” she asked with concern. He wasn’t normally like that and it wasn’t like they’d rolled around in the grass. 

“Whatever they gave me…it’s different… It burns and itches…and I can feel it in my veins,” Bruce explained. “I’m fine, it’s just uncomfortable…”

Pepper looked at him worried, but he kept walking on, so she did as well. She knew that they had to keep going. She just hoped that they could make it to the farmhouse before it got to be too dark. 

They were nearly there when Bruce collapsed without warning. Pepper rolled him over onto his back and he started to seize. She didn’t know what to do. Did you hold a person in place? Did you just sit there and watch? “Don’t leave me, Bruce,” she told him as she just sat there helplessly. When he stopped, she checked to ensure that he was still breathing. 

He was.

The change started immediately. His skin tinted and his clothes started to rip. Pepper got to her feet and backed up. She expected the change to stop, but it didn’t. Bruce quickly changed into the Hulk. It had been so long since Pepper had seen him in that form. He stumbled to his feet and let out a mighty roar. Pepper backed up. He hadn’t seen her yet. She remembered what Tony had said. Sometimes the Hulk was a bottle of uncontrollable rage…and sometimes, Bruce could control it… The Hulk had been bottled up for so long…she wasn’t sure what to expect.

When he swung his body her way, she froze and just stared up at him. She could see Bruce within the Hulk. His eyes were angry and then suddenly they almost seemed sad and worried. The tension in the muscled Hulk dropped and he sunk so that he looked smaller. “Hulk love Pepper.”

Pepper just stared at him and then reached out to gently run her hand along Hulk’s green muscled arm. “You okay?” she asked. She wondered what the serum that Killian had injected Bruce with had done to his system.

“Hulk good. Hulk strong. Hulk carry,” he said as he flexed his muscles a little before reaching out for her. But then he paused and held open his arm, inviting her in. She could see that Bruce had to have some kind of control; otherwise she was fairly sure that he’d have just grabbed her and run off with her without waiting for a response.

Pepper slowly walked towards him, mindful of how he was acting before finally allowing him to take her into his arm. She just hoped that she wouldn’t regret it.

 

. . .

 

He sounded like a wounded animal. All Pepper knew for sure was that he was upset. They’d gotten to the farmhouse and found it vacant. They’d hidden away in the barn since it was dark, but Bruce hadn’t changed out of the Hulk form. Instead, he’d kept away from her for a while and roared here and then before he finally collapsed. She recognized that. He was frustrated and couldn’t change. Like he’d been stuck in his human form, now he couldn’t change from Hulk to Bruce. 

“You’re okay,” she found herself whispered as she gently stroked the green giant. “I’m here… We’re safe right now…”

Pepper knew that SHIELD monitored activity all over the world. She wondered what it would take for them to pick up the Hulk’s reappearance. He seemed to still and calm under her touch and words. She was calm and quiet. Pepper knew now that she didn’t have to fear him. He wouldn’t hurt her. 

“We’re going to be okay…”

It got colder and the Hulk drew her into his large arms. He held her close, but gently and he was warm… Nights were colder than she’d expected, but she was fairly sure that winter was officially there. Given that they weren’t sure where they were, she couldn’t really guess what the weather would be like exactly.

Eventually she fell asleep though. She knew she was safe and she was warm enough. The Hulk’s gentle breathing was like a lullaby.

 

. . .

 

She ventured into the main house in the morning. It was mostly cleared out, but she’d been able to find a large coat that she’d wrapped around her to keep warmer. When she’d first stepped outside, she’d been shocked at what she had seen, but that had just made her search for additional clothes more necessary.

The world all around here was blanketed with white snow. It made the world seem so empty. How would they find a town? How would they find Sophia? How was she going to keep panic contained while traveling with the Hulk? She just hoped that at the very least that it would attract SHIELD’s attention…and Tony. 

“Hulk carry?”

Pepper turned to find that the green giant had snuck up on her. She wasn’t quite sure how he’d been able to do that, but she’d noticed how gentle he’d been around her. He was careful and cautious. The snow had probably cushioned his large steps. She knew how fast he could move, but he moved incredibly slow around her. “We need to find Sophia,” she told him and held out her arms to him.

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	11. Tony: How Did You Get This Number?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony POV chapter!

“Sir, there’s an incoming call—“

“What?”

“Sir, there’s an incoming call from a Ms. Agnes Grey.”

“Who the hell is that? How the hell did she get this number?” Tony asked.

“She’s using the Stark Secure Network number, Sir,” JARVIS informed him. 

“You need an access code—“

“She used Ms. Potts’ access code, Sir.”

Tony dropped the rather large oversized pipe that he’d been holding up and barely had time to grab it again before it sunk too deep. He tried to push out what JARVIS had said. He needed to focus. He used the repulsor to wield the pipe back in place…carefully moving around it while still holding it in place. 

“Mr. Stark, what do you want me to do with Ms. Grey’s call?”

“Take a message,” Tony said. He had no idea how someone could get that number and Pepper’s access code. “I’ll listen to it later…maybe…if I get through that mountain of paperwork on my desk.”

“She says it’s quite urgent, Sir,” JARVIS told him.

“Ask her how she got Pepper’s code…and this number!” Tony said as he busied himself with fixing the pipe. He wanted to get out of the ocean and back to the tower so that he could get the paperwork done. He was trying to actually leave the place and be able to be at home before midnight. So far, it hadn’t been happening. 

“Sir, I think you should speak with Ms. Grey.”

“Since when do you get to make those suggestions?”

“Since you relapsed after Ms. Potts’ death, Sir,” JARVIS told him matter of factly. “You have no one else currently doing so.”

“Why did I make you so intelligent?”

“Because you needed me, Sir,” JARVIS told him. “Shall I patch the call through?”

“What did she say? About the code?”

“You’ll have to ask her, Sir,” JARVIS said. “Patching her through now.”

“Mr. Stark? Are you there? Was I talking to a computer?” 

Tony sighed. Sometimes JARVIS was the biggest pain in the butt. The woman sounded older and he tried to keep his voice from becoming rude. “How can I help you, Ms. Grey?” he asked trying to behave. He was absolutely exhausted and had far too much to do before he’d get a couple hours of sleep… He really didn’t need this. He finished up with the pipe and shot up out of the ocean and into the air. 

“I was asked to contact you,” she told him. 

“By whom?”

“You’re probably not going to believe me. The robot or computer made me repeat myself nearly ten times…” He could hear a slight accent, but it wasn’t anything that should interfere with JARVIS’ understanding of her. 

“Tell me anyway.”

“Pepper told me to call you if something happened to her… I don’t know what’s going on… Mr. Killian told me to stay away…but I’m worried about her and Doctor Bruce…and she said you’d come and –“

“When did Pepper tell you this?” 

“A couple of months ago,” Ms. Grey told him.

“My wife has been dead for nearly a year.”

“She’s not! She’s alive…or she was. Doctor Bruce—“

“Bruce? Are you talking about Bruce Banner?”

“He turns all green…but he’s so sweet… He’s like a teddy bear, really!” Ms. Grey gushed.

“Did you say Killian? Aldrich Killian?”

“Did you hit your head, Sweetie?”

Tony’s head was spinning. Could they really be together and alive? Had Killian been behind the Stark plane going down? Had it orchestrated it all? And why would he need Bruce? He put the call on mute for a moment. “JARVIS, bring up the heat signature for the Stark plane Pepper was on…cross reference it with Extremis…

“The heat signature is nowhere as hot, Sir,” JARVIS reported, but brought everything up on screen anyways. 

Tony frowned. He was fairly sure he’d have caught that too. He un-muted her. “Not to be rude, but I don’t know why I should trust you…”

“She said you would. I had the special number. She wrote it here. Stark Secure Network. She said no one else could access it with this code,” Ms. Grey continued. “You have computers and high tech thing-a-ma-bobs…can’t you search me? You’ll see I’m a old lady who used to work as a nurse at the hospital before they shut it down… My kids are grown and gone… I live in the middle of nowhere… Do you really think that I’d call you up with a prank like this?”

Tony thought for a moment. 

“Has Killian hurt her?”

“Yes.” Her voice was so sad as she said it. “And that’s why I’m calling you… I’m so afraid that he’s hurt her more… She’s such a darling thing…and there’s more…but I think it would be better to tell you face to face.”

Tony did do a search and the woman came up clean. Sure, she could be working for Killian, but if there was a chance that it could lead him to Pepper, then he had to chance it. He had to chance everything if his wife was still alive. “You’re still at this address?”

“Saint Francis, Kansas?”

“That’s what this says…”

“For my whole entire life…”

“I guess my paperwork is going to have to wait,” he mumbled. “I’ll be there in a couple of hours…”

“I’ll be waiting…”

 

. . .

 

“Incoming communication. SHIELD carrier. Agent Romanoff for you, Sir,” JARVIS announced.

Tony sighed. “Put her through.”

“Where you headed?”

“Why?”

“Curious.”

“Suicide mission, want to come?” he joked.

“Do I get to know the mission first?”

“Talk to some old lady who’s met my dead wife and best friend… Find them. Come home. Basic mission,” he said as casually as he could muster. He was sure it sounded crazy. It still sounded crazy to him. “You keeping tabs on me?”

“I’m pretty sure I got elected next up for an intervention,” Natasha told him.

“Lucky you.”

“And you left Malibu…and California…” Natasha said. “And unless you know somewhere that needs help that’s not showing up here…I have to believe that you have some kind of personal mission.”

“I’m going to bring my wife home,” Tony told her firmly. This lady better not be a prank. This was serious. He didn’t think he could lose her a second time. Not Pepper. 

“You’re serious then?”

“Think I snapped?” Tony asked.

There was silence for a moment. “The thought did cross my mind.”

“Want to hear the conversation? I’m sure JARVIS has it stored,” Tony offered.

“Of course, Sir! Transferring it to Agent Romanoff now!” JARVIS said without skipping a beat.

“Kansas…meet you there.”

“Who the hell hides in Kansas?”

“Aldrich Killian.”

 

. . .

 

“What do we have, JARVIS?”

“No threat found, Sir.”

“If that little old lady hands me something, JARVIS—“

“Don’t worry, Sir! I’m sure that Agent Romanoff will ensure that you are protected.”

Tony smirked. He was sure that Natasha would feel so touched that JARVIS had put that responsibility on her. “Thanks, J!” 

He landed in the middle of a street at the edge of town. Snow was falling and the ground was already covered in white. The house was probably built when people settled the state. He figured that he’d stay in the suit until he at least made it up to the porch. He just hoped that the suit wasn’t too heavy. He approached the steps, but the front door was opened first. He popped the face cover up, so that she could see his face. 

The woman looked kind enough. Tony still wasn’t sure about this. “Keep scanning, JARVIS,” Tony told him. He had his earpiece in just in case JARVIS found something. He decided not to chance it and parked the suit at the bottom of the steps. He stepped out of the suit and listened as it snapped back closed. 

“Mr. Stark?”

“I have a friend en route,” he announced. Just in case. If she had a gun-totting husband, then he’d really need Natasha.

She had short hair cropped hair that was either grey or white…or both, Tony wasn’t sure. She wore slim glasses and was wearing brightly colored whimsical scrubs. The woman had said that she’d been a nurse, but that the hospital had closed. Maybe scrubs were all she owned? “I hope your friend is going to help you find those poor darlings!” she said and then was cut off by the scream of a child. “You come in,” she said as she hurried inside.

Tony sighed and headed in. He looked around for Natasha, but didn’t see her. “Any updates, J?” he asked.

“Agent Romanoff’s ETA is five minutes, Sir,” JARVIS reported.

He headed into the house slowly and tried to remain cautious. It looked safe enough. The woman had dated furniture and knick-knacks were placed all about. There were pictures of her and whom he could only assume were her children. She reappeared and looked quite happy with a baby wrapped in a blanket in her arms. “Grandkid?” Tony asked, trying to make small talk. He was still nervous. As much as he’d not expected SHIELD to keep such close track of him, he was pretty anxious to have Natasha there.

“I think of her as one,” the woman told her. “You can call me Agnes, by the way. Everyone does. And you’re Tony… Pepper was so worried about you…”

“Where is she?” he asked, suddenly ready to set out immediately to find her. It wasn’t that he’d forgotten…he’d just still been unsure about whether the woman was telling the truth or not. He was trying to guard his heart.

“I can draw you a map of the farm they’re keeping them on,” Agnes told him. “I wish I could have done more for them… But Pepper’s main concern was for you to take care of Sophia. She said that no matter what that you would take care of Sophia for her… She was sure of it.”

Tony wasn’t following. The woman seemed like what she was saying was making perfect sense, but to him it wasn’t. He looked at Agnes and the baby. He looked around at the pictures. He looked back to the baby. She had bright blue eyes and red hair. Just like Pepper. His head started to run the numbers and he knew it was possible. Tony was feeling a panic attack rearing up inside of him. He was having problems breathing.

“Sit down, sit down,” Agnes told him and guided him to the couch with one arm. “I’ll get you a glass of water.”

While Tony sat there and tried to focus on keeping calm, Natasha decided to show up. It was probably a good thing because it was less likely that he’d lose it in front of her. Not that she hadn’t seen him at his low before, it was just he liked to look better nowadays. “Bout…time…” he got out.

“You okay?” Natasha asked as she kneeled down next to him, her hand on his shoulder.

“Just…was caught off guard is all,” Tony tried to make up a good reason why he was trying to catch his breath.

Natasha looked around. “All of the chickens send you into some kind of episode?”

“It wasn’t the chickens,” Agnes said as she returned and handed Tony the glass.

“The baby—“ Natasha started.

“This is Sophia,” Agnes said. “She’s Pepper’s daughter… And she’s been missing her mommy something fierce…”

“Is she alive?” Natasha asked.

“I don’t know,” Agnes said quite sadly and bounced Sophia as she held her. “Pepper was more concerned about Sophia’s safety and her future…that’s why she gave me your number, Mr. Stark.”

“Do you know who the father is?” Tony asked. Pepper had been missing for nearly a year, but he was no good at figuring out ages of babies.”

“Mr. Killian thinks that she’s his, last I knew,” Agnes said. “But Doctor Bruce was fairly certain that she’s yours, Mr. Stark.”

“Banner is there too?” Natasha asked. She was obviously confused. 

“I just pray to God that they’re both no more worse for wear,” Agnes told them. She moved over to where Tony was sitting and offered him Sophia. “You take her now, she won’t break…”

He reached up to take her, but his hands shook. He hated being handed things, but this wasn’t a thing. This was his daughter. This was a daughter he didn’t know he had with Pepper. She was a miracle. He felt Natasha’s hand on his shoulder, steadying him, the moment that Sophia was in his arms. Agnes fixed his arms and then disappeared again. Tony let out a shaky breath as he stared down into her face. She was absolutely beautiful. She looked so much like Pepper. And the more he looked at her, the more tears welled up in his eyes. 

“Sophia Stark,” he whispered.

“I guess it has a certain ring to it,” Natasha teased. “I guess it was more than just a wedding you two were keeping from the rest of us…”

“I had no idea,” Tony admitted. 

“She’s beautiful,” Natasha told him. “Congratulations…but she still needs her mom.”

Agnes returned with a pad of paper and a pen. “I’m going to draw you two a map… Hopefully it’ll help… It’s quite cold, though, so I hope you both brought your jackets.”

“I think we’ll be okay,” Natasha told the woman.

Tony had completely diverted his attention. This little girl was the closest he’d been to Pepper in nearly a year. He hadn’t been able to have a body to bury or to say goodbye to. This was why. She was alive. She’d been pregnant. They had a child. He beamed down at her and she just looked curiously up at him. “She’s so perfect,” he mumbled.

“I’m glad that you’re so accepting of her,” Agnes spoke up. “Pepper was so worried that you’d think badly of her…no matter who the father was…”

“Killian hurt her?” Natasha asked.

“At first, I thought he was such a nice man…but he’s the devil… I don’t know what he’s done since I’ve been with her… She was doing so much better when I left, but then she hasn’t seen Sophia in nearly two months… Poor thing is probably frightened out of her mind!”

Tony was listening now. He looked over at Natasha, who seemed concerned. Maybe they really did need more back up. “Agnes, would it be a terrible inconvenience if you watched Sophia for a bit longer?”

“You know it would not be! She’s an angel!” Agnes pushed the map towards Natasha and then reclaimed the baby from him. “You two just make sure you bring back Pepper and Doctor Bruce!” Agnes paused for a moment. “Should I call the police? Perhaps they could help?”

Natasha smirked at her. “I think it’s a little higher than police…but I’ll call in for back up as soon as we get outside if it makes you feel better.”

“I think it might make me feel better,” Tony told her. He stood up and watched the baby in Agnes’ arms. His little one. She’d be safe and when he had Pepper, they’d come back for her. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay with her?” Tony asked.

“I was there when she was brought into the world,” Agnes told him and reached out to pat his arm. “It’s natural to have separation anxiety…but I assure you. We’ll be just fine…”

“We won’t be long,” Natasha said and grabbed Tony’s arm yanking him towards the door.

He couldn’t help it. Sophia was the closest he’d come to believing that there were miracles… Maybe when he saw Pepper and was able to hold her in his arms, then he’d be able to truly believe. He pulled away from her and once they were outside again, he was back in his suit. There was a plane parked nearby, which Natasha was running to. Tony wondered if she knew more than she said. He trusted Natasha, but she always seemed like she knew more than everyone else. 

“JARVIS, link up with Natasha.”

“Already being done, Sir,” JARVIS announced. 

“Good man.”

 

. . .

 

“This is harder than I thought,” Natasha’s voice came over the communications system.

“I guess old lady’s drawings aren’t as accurate as we’d like…” Tony said.

“Sir, I think you better see this,” JARVIS announced. A picture was added to his HUD and was magnified. “I think we’ve located the Hulk, Sir.”

“What about Pepper?” Tony asked.

JARVIS enlarged the image more. In the Hulk’s arms as he walked slowly along was a small figure who Tony could only assume was Pepper. He hoped it was her. Who else would Bruce carry like that? Who else would be with him?

“Take us down,” Tony said. “It’s time to have our family back.”

“And your sanity, Sir.”

Tony smirked. 

 

. . .

 

He landed down the road a little bit in front of them. He was purposely giving them some distance. For all he knew, the Hulk would knock him into the next state. Tony noticed that Natasha landed her little plane not far from where he landed. He waited, hoping that two familiar faces would be better than one…and truth was, he was nervous. 

“Do you think it’s odd that Bruce hasn’t changed back?” Natasha asked as she approached him.

“I was just thinking that…” Tony admitted. “But he can control it better now… Maybe he did it so that it would be easier to get to town…”

“The Hulk can move faster than that…even while holding someone,” Natasha pointed out.

Tony frowned. It was all a bit odd. They waited there though. He stayed in his suit, but flipped up the faceplate. He watched as the Hulk came to a complete halt. He was staring them down, but then his face changed. He was sad and then he swayed a bit before finally setting Pepper down. Tony took a step towards them, but Natasha put her hand on his shoulder.

“Stark,” she said quietly. “You don’t know how badly he hurt her…or how long ago it was…”

“I don’t care… She’s still my wife,” Tony argued.

“She might not want to be touched,” Natasha warned.

He hadn’t thought about that and it immediately made him both sad and angry. He wanted to kill Killian for touching her. They knew it had happened, but he didn’t know when the last time was… He could only assume that it had been when she’d first been captured, but Agnes hadn’t seen them for two months… Tony bowed his head for a moment. He’d waited so long for her and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and never let her go.

“Just…let her come to you,” Natasha told him. She patted his shoulder before nudging him forward.

They walked together and Pepper seemed to be having a conversation with the Hulk. Tony wasn’t sure how that worked because the Hulk tended to speak in third person and reply with a very limited vocabulary. She looked different, but Tony was sure it was because her hair looked longer…and she was in clothes that she normally didn’t wear. But as they got closer, he could see the sadness in both Pepper and the Hulk’s faces. He felt a twinge of jealousy as Pepper stroked the Hulk’s arm. 

“Something wrong?” Natasha asked and she put her arm out for him to stop. Her question was directed towards Pepper. They knew how the Hulk could be, but Tony knew how Bruce was. He was a good guy who was trying to do the best he could with his life situations.

“He’s stuck,” Pepper spoke up. “Killian gave him something… Before he couldn’t turn into the Hulk…and then when he finally managed to change…he can’t change back,” said. “You can do something, right?”

She was so full of concern. Oh, how he’d missed her. Pepper was always one that cared for other people, especially when he didn’t. He really didn’t know how he’d survived this last year without her. And now, seeing her there…it was like his life was about to start all over again…and they had a baby. They’d be a family and Tony would make sure that they were never separated again. He didn’t care what he had to do or give up. He’d give up Stark Industries if that’s what it cost. He didn’t want to live in that empty state ever again…

“We’ll figure it out,” Tony told her. “We got a vague map of the place…”

“Very vague,” Natasha chimed in.

“It’s not much further,” Pepper told them and pointed back behind them. “This road leads there… I’m fairly sure that it’s the last place this road goes…”

There was tension and Tony watched how she held herself. She had her arms crossed as she talked to him. Tony wanted so desperately to hold her though… So, he took a step and hoped that she’d meet him half way there…and maybe Natasha wouldn’t kill him. He stepped out of the suit and stood there without it. “You didn’t ask us where we got the map from,” Tony pointed out.

Pepper looked like she was trying to put things together, which worried him. She was usually so much quicker than that. She would have already known by now. There was something wrong…and he didn’t know if it was because of what Killian had done to her or if it was something like exhaustion. “Agnes,” she breathed and then looked straight at Tony. 

“She’s a sweet old lady,” Tony said. “She apparently likes to collect chickens…”

“It was creepy…” Natasha spoke up. 

Tony smiled. “But she had this beautiful baby girl there…” he went on. “Who’s safe…and perfect…and absolutely beautiful…just like her mother…” The look on her face, relief and joy and so many others that mixed together. Tears streamed down her face and he opened his arms. He could see Natasha glaring at him from the corner of his eyes, but he was letting her come to her, if that’s what she wanted. And she did.

Pepper was there wrapping her arms around him and crying into his shoulder. He slowly and carefully wrapped her up in his and pressed his head against hers and just held her. “She’s yours,” she whispered into his ear through her tears.

“I know,” he whispered back. “I held her…and I didn’t want to leave her…but we had to find you…” When she pulled away from him, he was disappointed, but he allowed it. Natasha was still glaring at him. A finger ran through her hair. Oh, how he’d missed her. It was like so much had been lifted off of him even though he’d thought he’d grieved and that he wasn’t so bogged down by the pain. He’d been lying to himself. “I wish I could have been here earlier—“

“You thought I was dead,” she said as she stared down at the ground. Pepper looked up at him, she still looked so upset. “But I have to tell you things…”

The Hulk let out a low roar and started to move around anxiously. 

“They can wait,” Natasha said. Now Tony was the one glaring at her. “Let’s get you reunited with that baby and back to the carrier.” 

“Wait,” Pepper said as Natasha started to guide her towards the plane. “What about Killian? There could be information on what they did to Bruce there.”

“They’re going to take care of Killian,” Natasha said pointing to Tony and the Hulk. 

Tony nodded and got back into his suit. As much as he hated leaving her, he knew that she was in good hands. Natasha knew them the best and would ensure that Pepper was looked after… “We won’t be long,” he told them before the faceplate snapped back down in place. He watched as Pepper and Natasha got on board the plane. He wished that he could go with them now, that he could just leave SHIELD to clean up Killian, but he knew how strong he was… He really wasn’t eager to face him again because he remembered what happened the last time, but he had extra muscle with him this time…

“We ready?” Tony asked as he turned to the Hulk who hadn’t moved. Instead of replying in some kind of vocal way, the Hulk merely used his fist to knock Tony onto his ass and then turned around. “Okay…then…” he muttered and then got to his feet. “You do remember we’re friends, right?!” Tony called out.

“Hulk smash!” 

And for a moment, he really wasn’t sure if the Hulk was going to smash him…or not. “But we’re smashing Killian, right?”

“Hulk smash Killian. Killian hurt Pepper. Hulk keep Pepper safe. Hulk love Pepper.”

This was really going to complicate things if the big green guy was head over heels in love with his wife. “Just making sure we’re on the same page…” The Hulk took off without him, but Tony wasn’t far behind. As he followed, he thought about what the Hulk had said and how Pepper had acted with him. Did she love him? Did she love Bruce? She seemed different, but he’d written it off as coming out of hell… Had he lost her? Again? Either way, he was going to make Killian pay for what he did… Tony was going to make sure that Killian was really dead this time… He didn’t care if he needed to separate body parts and burn them… He’d do anything to ensure that nothing like this would happen again… Otherwise, he feared that Killian would just keep coming…and he’d come for Pepper… Tony wouldn’t allow that.

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	12. Going Home Isn't Easy

“Can you give us a minute?” Natasha asked.

They’d picked up Sophia and Pepper had gotten all of Agnes’ contact information and had thanked her for everything she’d done. It seemed so odd leaving her behind even though they were leaving Agnes behind at her own home. Natasha had been quiet and hadn’t pushed, but Pepper had a feeling that now was the time to push. They were on the helicarrier in the medical bay. She had a fairly good idea what questions she was going to ask…so she assumed that Tony had an idea as well…

She watched as medical staff left the room before they even got to start vitals. Pepper found that she was nervous even though she knew that she could trust Natasha. Besides Bruce, Natasha was probably the only one that she’d spent any considerable time with…even if she’d been undercover at the time. Either way, she knew that she could trust her with her life… 

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay to do this before there’s doctors in here,” Natasha told her. “I’m sure you know what I’m going to ask you—“

Pepper frowned and held Sophia closer as she looked down. “He raped me… A lot,” she said quietly. “He thought he could start some kind of new species… Found out after all of that…he’s sterile…” 

“They’re going to want to take Sophia and look at her… But I wanted to know if you had a preference about the doctor that looked you over…and if you wanted me to stay with you?” Natasha asked quietly.

Pepper looked up. It was such a kind offer, but she didn’t know if that would help, if it would really bring her comfort. “Does SHIELD have female doctors?” 

“I’ll find you one,” Natasha said quietly.

“Natasha?”

“Yes?” 

“They should know something else,” Pepper told her. She hadn’t even told Tony and here she was telling Natasha. “I need you and the doctor not to tell Tony… I have to be the one to tell him…”

“Agnes had pretty much implied it at the house—“

“Not the rape,” Pepper told her. “I’m pregnant…”

“It’s not Tony’s…and it’s not Killian’s…”

“Killian told us that he’d only let us leave if Bruce got me pregnant,” she told the other woman and looked down. That had to sound so awful that they were willing in it. It wasn’t like Killian had raped her. She’d been willing…at least mostly. She’d initiated things with Bruce and told him not to stop even when she broke down. 

“He’s not going to be angry at you,” Natasha told me.

Pepper looked up again. “How can he want me? After everything?”

Natasha ran her hand along Pepper’s arm. “You were raped. You’re a victim. Killian kept you there for almost a whole year… You had to spend all that time not knowing the exact paternity of Sophia… Then he took away Sophia from you for two months… And now this… Tony’s going to be thrilled to just have you home…even if you need to hide away in a room with just Sophia for another year…” She looked her right in the eyes. “He loves you…more than I think even he realizes that he could… You didn’t see him when he thought you were dead, Pepper… He’s going to do whatever you need…and if he doesn’t, then he’ll have to deal with me.”

Pepper smiled just the littlest. “I hope that you’ll have the time to fill me in on what I missed…”

“I’m sure Clint and Steve would love to vent to you about it over dinner or something,” Natasha told her with a smirk. 

“Maybe…if you didn’t have to go…I wouldn’t mind having you here,” Pepper said a bit reluctantly. Maybe it was because Natasha was another woman or maybe it was because she was familiar…whatever the reason, Pepper felt a bit safer with her there… She also doubted that there would be any problems with a person who was called ‘Black Widow’ in the room.

“You’re going to tell Tony about the baby, right?” Natasha asked. “I think it’s better he takes it all in now…”

“I guess I don’t really have to worry about Bruce saying anything…”

“That should also give you some extra time, if you need it,” Natasha pointed out. “He can be working on solving that problem. I’ve already briefed Fury. He’s going to be having Doctor Richards brought in to help with the problem… We’re all hoping that they can get the information and possibly a sample of what they gave Bruce, but we want to be prepared…”

“Does Fury know—“

“No,” Natasha said quickly. “I promise you. No one else is going to know. The doctor is just to make sure that you’re healthy… That’s all… No one else needs to know.”

“Thank you,” Pepper whispered.

She was sure that he wouldn’t say anything. But the last thing she wanted was for all of the Avengers to know. She was ashamed enough; she didn’t need SHIELD all being informed of what happened to her. She didn’t want to be treated differently and she surely didn’t need Tony to feel uncomfortable because of it. 

 

. . .

 

“Can we go home?” Pepper asked.

“I thought you’d want to stay on the carrier until we have whatever Killian did to Bruce sorted out?” Tony asked.

They were sitting in the mess hall area and she kept feeling like everyone was looking at her. She was sure she looked horrible, especially because that’s how she felt. Natasha had given her clothes and had shown her where the showering facilities were and Pepper had taken full advantage of them…but it wasn’t the same. She didn’t feel like her ‘old self’. She kept thinking it was the clothes, but she was realizing that it was more than that…and she needed to accept that. But she wanted to be somewhere where she felt safe…even if the last time she was there they were fired upon and the whole thing blew up and fell into the ocean.

“I just…” Pepper said and then sighed. “I feel like everyone is watching…”

“They are,” Tony told her. Pepper stared at him in shock, wondering if they were judging her. “They’re probably all in shock and amazement that I have a baby in my arms and she’s not screaming her head off…” He’d been rocking Sophia in his arms since they’d gotten there. He had refused to eat until she had and Sophia had fallen asleep in his arms. 

Pepper couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. He looked so content and happy with her. “But…I’d really like to go home…”

“I’m going to have to stay here with Richards…”

“I’ll be okay,” Pepper told him, she knew she probably came across as far too cheerful. “Though, I’ll probably need some things for Sophia…”

“Pep, we’re married… It’s not like you don’t have all my account information, it’s probably all memorized. Take one of my cards and get whatever you and Sophia need. I’ll have Happy take you,” Tony told her. “He’s been itching to do something…”

“Does the media know?”

“About your miraculous return? No,” Tony told her. “But I know Fury’s working on some story… Might as well do your shopping before people know that you’re back… Maybe I could ask Natasha to go with you…”

Pepper smiled. “She actually has already volunteered to spend some time with me if I need it and if I wanted to go home.”

“Good. Then it’s settled—“

“Tony,” Pepper said quietly. “Can we talk first? Somewhere private?”

Tony smiled at her. “I know this amazing private room,” he said and got up from the seat, holding Sophia carefully as he did so. “No one will bother us…mainly because it’s my room.”

“You have a room on the carrier?”

“I think it’s still there. I worked here. But then I quit. If it doesn’t have my name on it, we can probably still use it anyways,” he told her with a smile.

Tony led the way and though the room didn’t have his name on it, it didn’t have anyone else’s and it was vacant, so they used it. He was setting Sophia carefully down on the bed and Pepper was there immediately making sure that she was in a nest-like formation using pillows and blankets just so wouldn’t move much. 

“Why don’t we sit down?” he suggested and motioned to the two simple chairs.

“I want to stand, if that’s okay,” Pepper told him nervously. She didn’t feel like she could go down to their house without telling him everything. Pepper felt like if she didn’t do it now then it was going to be so much harder later… And she needed to know for sure how he was going to react. 

“Okay,” he said slowly and sat down. 

Pepper turned towards him and then felt like she couldn’t breathe. She turned away and closed her eyes. She focused on breathing for a moment. “I just…”

“Pep, if this is about Killian—“

“Everything’s been about him,” she whispered as tears fell. Pepper turned to him, looking him in the eyes. “Tony, please tell me that he’s dead.”

“He’s dead, Honey. I promise you. We made sure of it. He’s never coming back again. He’s never going to touch you again,” Tony told her completely confident and serious. “SHIELD’s doing a clean-up down there right now… Fury has them monitoring activity, but we really made sure that he can’t come back from that…”

“You know already,” she said and broke down. A sob racked her body and she had to turn away. Pepper didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to break down in front of him. She wiped her eyes, but it didn’t help because they kept coming.

“Pep—“

“You know that Killian raped me,” she whispered. 

“I know,” Tony whispered back, full of sadness and hatred for the monster.

“That was the worst,” Pepper admitted and turned back to him, for the most part keeping the sobs to a minimum.

“I would have come for you… I would have searched the world if I knew you were alive, Pepper…” Tony said. Tears were falling down his cheeks now. “You have to know that.”

“I know,” she whispered. “And that’s why I knew you weren’t coming… When Bruce told me that you thought I was dead…” Pepper looked down. “But Bruce and I spent a lot of time together…and without him…I don’t know if I’d be alive right now… Killian would have probably killed me before I could have even attempted anything myself.” She took a step towards him and looked at him. Pepper looked right into Tony’s eyes. “I love him, but not in the way I love you… I didn’t plan it… It just happened…”

“Where does that leave us?” he asked quietly.

He didn’t sound mad. He didn’t even sound upset or surprised. “I don’t know,” she responded honestly. “You’re my husband…and I love you, I do, Tony…”

“But you also love Bruce…”

“Yes,” Pepper admitted. “And…I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Tony breathed; it was shock…still not anger.

Pepper looked down, feeling suddenly incredibly ashamed. “I—“ She stopped and tried to keep her cool. She dropped down to her knees in front of him and reached out for his hands. He let her take them. Her head was still down and tears were still falling. “When I first got there… Killian raped me until the pregnancy test said I was pregnant… I didn’t know she was yours until recently,” she admitted. “Bruce made things better…I don’t know how… Maybe it was just because he’s so quiet and that he’s familiar… He reminded me of you sometimes… After I had Sophia, Killian separated us… He raped me again until he found out he couldn’t have kids of his own… He took Sophia away and then he told Bruce and I that he’d let us go…but only if Bruce got me pregnant…” 

“Sick twisted bastard,” Tony muttered angrily. He squeezed her hands and she cried harder. “Pep… This isn’t your fault… I’m not upset with you…” His voice was calm and sincere. 

“I told Bruce that we had to do it… I had to see Sophia…make sure he hadn’t hurt her…” She looked up and she could see it in his eyes. He really wasn’t mad at her. Everyone had been right… But she needed to tell him and they needed to have it all out on the table.

He reached out and she could see him unsure on whether or not he was allowed to touch her face, like Bruce had done before. He finally made a decision and settled his hands lightly on her cheeks. She stared up at him. “No matter what you decide on anything… I will love you and I will support you in any way you need me to…”

“What about this baby?”

“I think we’re going to have that discussion with Bruce,” Tony said and for the first time she could hear a little sadness in his voice. “But I’m going to punch him first.”

Pepper shook her head. “Tony—“

“Not hard…”

“Tony—“

“My luck the green guy will punch me back…” Tony said and he was suddenly very much Tony. He smiled at her and then leaned over and kissed her forehead. “We’ll all three sit down and have this conversation once we get Bruce back to not being so green…and good at knocking me around…”

Pepper just nodded. She didn’t even know how she really felt about this baby. It was still really a shock. Sophia wasn’t even that old and to think that in less than a year that she’d have two children under one year old was a lot for her to conceive. 

“Let me make the arrangements for you to go home… Right now, why don’t you lie down and rest a bit?” Tony suggested and leaned in to kiss her forehead again.

He was so sweet and it made her miss him so much more even though he was right there in front of her. “I love you, Tony,” she whispered and then put her hands over his and leaned in and kissed him. She kissed him on the lips and for the first time in so long she felt like she was home. Their kiss was long and deep and like they hadn’t seen each other in years… 

“I love you, Pep… I missed you so much,” he said once they parted. His voice broke halfway through, but she knew that everything he was saying was true. He’d been through hell. Everyone had told her all about it. She was fairly sure that the Avengers didn’t want to have to stage an intervention for anyone in the next decade. 

 

. . .

 

“Pepper!” Happy yelled and embraced her before anything more could be said. 

She was tense and it took her a moment before she could react and wrap her arms loosely around him. “It’s okay,” she whispered to Natasha who looked like she was ready to grab Happy and pull him away.

“What? Am I hurting you?” Happy asked as he pulled back. He looked between them. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing… Nothing…” Pepper told him and looked sternly in Natasha’s direction. 

“There’s something that you’re not telling me,” Happy said.

“You’re right,” Natasha spoke up. “I meant to give you a plan for the day…”

“That’s not what I mean—“

“We have room in the car for a car seat, right?” Natasha said quickly. 

“What?”

“It has to be rear facing in the back seat.”

“I guess…”

“Maybe something low-key,” Natasha continued on.

Pepper smiled a little. Natasha was going to take him for a spin in order to keep him from continuing his line of questioning. She was so thankful for that. “You know Happy, if you don’t want to go with us… I can drive myself,” Pepper offered.

“No,” Happy said quickly. He seemed like he was frustrated and almost out of breath from the back and forth with Natasha. “No… I wanted to take you. Plus, you’re going to need the extra help lifting things…”

Natasha shook her head and Pepper just smile more. “Are you excited about there being a baby in the house?”

“As long as that means that I’m not driving a two year old to her ballet classes on my own,” Happy told her.

“No need to worry about that…at least not for a while…” she teased. Pepper moved back in and hugged him, she held him for a minute, and then stepped back. “I missed you, Happy…”

“I missed you…and I missed there being sanity…”

“We all missed that,” Natasha told her matter of factly.

“Are you sure you’re up for all this shopping?”

“Even though the world still thinks you’re dead, I think we still need to worry about your security,” Natasha told her. “So, shopping or not…you’re not getting rid of me.”

“Or me,” Happy chimed in.

 

. . .

 

“I was expecting for there to be boxes and bags all over the house,” Tony said as they sat on the couch together. Some things were exactly the same, while other furniture items had to be replaced by a close enough model. 

“I only got what was absolutely needed,” Pepper told him. It had been too long of a day and at one point, Natasha and Happy had been sure that someone had recognized her and that they’d be ambushed with media. Luckily, they had completed shopping, so they were able to make a quick exit.

No media had shown up at the newly finished Stark Malibu Mansion. Happy had told her that he was fairly sure that no one realized that the construction and dressing was fully completed. But it still felt odd. She was used to handling the media, but not now… She knew that she couldn’t deal with it now, so that was going to require either a lot of ignoring and pushing past media or hiding away in the house until it all died down.

“You should have gotten more,” Tony told her. “Whatever you wanted for you or Sophia… Anything…”

“I know,” she whispered. “But I didn’t want anything else… I don’t need it, Tony.” Pepper let her head lay on his shoulder and she moved so that she was leaning against his body. They were quiet like that for some time. Pepper was thankful that Happy and Natasha had tackled putting the crib together and that Sophia had slept for an hour so far. “I hadn’t expected you to come home tonight,” she whispered.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

Pepper looked up at him. “You don’t have to.”

“Natasha might kill me if I don’t…” he said with a smile. He brushed hair away from her face and leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

Pepper wondered if Natasha had given him a lecture. Things were sure adding up that way. She appreciated the other woman looking out for her, but the last thing that she wanted was for Tony to be kicked out of his own bedroom…even if it was theirs. “I’m sorry—“

“You don’t need to apologize for anything, Pep,” he whispered.

“I—“

“Shh…” he shushed as he put an arm around her and pulled her close. 

It was such a simple thing, but right now it was everything. She knew that it had to be hard for him. They hadn’t been together in a year and he’d had a hard year…and though she had been through hell too…she’d known he was alive that whole time… He had just found out, found her and found out that they had a child…and so much more to process. 

“I have to go into the office in the morning,” he said and she could hear sadness in his voice. “I have so much paperwork to do… You being alive hasn’t been announced yet and I feel like I need to really make an appearance before the board takes back the company…”

“I read about that,” she said. “I’m sorry…”

“Still not your fault.”

“You thought I died.”

He looked down at her. “Did you fake your own death?” He was quite serious. She just stared up at him. “No… You didn’t… So, not your fault… But, me being CEO is your fault.”

“Excuse me?” she asked in a bit of shock. She pulled away and sat straight up. She stared at him waiting for his response.

“I did everything for you… The tower… Being responsible… I might not believe in a God, but I believe in you, Pep… And I wanted to do something that would make you proud,” he told her. 

Pepper beamed at him. “I am proud… So very proud…” She leaned back in and cuddled up against him. It was hard still, but she was telling herself that this was what she needed to get back to…and she trusted Tony…he was her husband…and she loved him dearly. 

“JARVIS is proud too…”

“I would be prouder, Sir, if you would complete the pile of paperwork sitting on your desk and in your inbox,” JARVIS spoke up. 

“I can’t do that right now though…”

“I assure you, Ms. Potts will not leave the building whilst you complete your paperwork, Sir.”

Tony frowned. “It’s Mrs. Stark.”

“She has requested that I continue to refer to her as Ms. Potts, Sir.”

Tony looked over at her. “I thought that—“ And then his sentence stopped and he just looked sadly at her.

Pepper reached out and cupped his face. “Tony, I programmed that after we got married…” she promised. “I didn’t make any adjustments today…” She wondered if he thought that she’d made some kind of choice. If that’s why she hadn’t bought out of the stores and why she wondered why he was home. She hadn’t. She didn’t know where she’d be tomorrow or next week or next month… And as much as she’d wanted to ask about Bruce, she hadn’t because she feared that it would just upset him.

“Ms. Potts is correct, Sir,” JARVIS reported. “She has not made any adjustments since your wedding date.”

“I just…”

“I don’t mean for any of this to hurt you…”

“I can be patient, Pepper… I can give you whatever space you want… We can do everything any way you want as far as Sophia and this baby goes… I just… I need to know if you want me in your life…”

“You’re my husband,” she told him as she turned to face him fully, she moved so that she was on her knees. She cupped both of his cheeks in her hands. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you… No idea how much I hoped that you’d be happy… How much I thought of you…”

“But you love Bruce…”

“And I love you,” she told him. “And I know that’s so complicated… I wish it wasn’t complicated… But I promise, Tony…we’ll talk…about everything…and we’ll figure it out as we go… But I’m not going anywhere…” she whispered. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. Tears fell from her eyes as she realized how much pain she was causing him. She wished she could just share her thoughts and feelings with him telepathically…to make it easier for him. For him to feel how she loved him and how it was different from how she loved Bruce, even though she loved them both.

“I’m getting better at the whole communicating thing,” he told her. 

She smiled and ran fingers through his hair. “Good… Because you’re going to need those skills…” She kissed his cheek again and closed her eyes as she leaned her head against his a moment later. Her tears rolled from her eyes, down her cheek, and fell onto him. How she wished she could bring herself to being closer to him. She couldn’t. It was still too hard…and it was harder still not knowing what to feel for Tony versus Bruce… Tony was her husband and she didn’t regret that, but they’d all changed over the last year.

“I love you, Pep…more than life…” he whispered.

And she knew it was true. It made things harder, but then it made things easier in some ways. “Why don’t you let me help you with your paperwork?” she suggested quietly, not pulling away from him yet.

“You should sleep.”

“So should you.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I’m likely better at it then you are,” Pepper pointed out.

“You are a paperwork expert… I could use an expert,” Tony said and kissed her cheek before pulling away. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not going to be able to sleep knowing that you’re fighting with paperwork,” Pepper told him honestly. And plus, she missed it. She was far too used to doing all the Stark Industries paperwork even before she’d been named CEO. It was still a little odd for her to think that Tony had taken over that job. It was what he was supposed to be doing, but he’d never been one to really tackle it… He did so much better in his lab, but not always… Sometimes he needed to be out in the real world…

“I just argue with it…”

“That’s why you need me…”

“That’s not why I need you,” he told her as he stared at her.

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	13. Don't Worry

The nightmares didn’t go away, not even at the house. Pepper had hoped they would…that once she was home that she’d know she was safe… It hadn’t worked. She’d woken up screaming at first night, but she hadn’t been in bed. She’d been on the couch with Tony where they’d been going over things. Tablets were strewn about and somehow she’d fallen asleep. Her body trembled with fear and she almost fell off the couch as she screamed, still half asleep. Tony’s arms where there, but she pushed them away. 

It was then that she was fully awake, when she saw the look on his face. She fell to the floor in a heap and covered her face. Sophia’s scream came a minute later. Pepper cried harder and then tried to get to her feet. Tony helped her up, his hands quick before she could push him away. “I’ll get her,” Tony said before quickly running to the bedroom.

Was this how it was going to be from now on? 

Pepper got up and started to pace. She tried to focus on her breathing and just calming down. Tears were streaming down her face and she felt horrible…not only because of the nightmare but because of Tony. She didn’t know why she didn’t say something… Bruce was used to them… He was usually there when she woke up screaming… 

“She went back to sleep,” Tony said as he walked back out. “I just rubbed her back and bounced her a bit…”

“Where did you learn that?” she asked. 

“I might have been multi-tasking on the carrier… Clint gave me a book about being a dad…” Tony told her. He shrugged. “I was trying to do as much research as I could… I wanted to make sure I could help…”

“I hope you actually did some work on helping Bruce…” Pepper said tiredly. 

“Did some stuff… Reed’s doing most of the work,” Tony said with a shrug. “He brought help… They really don’t need me… Plus, Mr. Big-Green-and-Grumpy just kept trying to kill me through the ‘cell’ that Fury has him in…and growling…”

Pepper wondered if he was upset that she’d gone to Tony when they’d all been reunited finally. She wanted to see him, but at the same time…she was worried…worried that he’d be upset with her. 

“You’re worrying…” Tony told her. 

“Are you worried?”

“About Bruce?” Tony asked. “Of course. If he stays big and green and angry he’s only good at knocking me around… I like having someone who understands me in the Avengers...at least on the scientific front…”

“Tony—“

“Okay, so I care more than that…” Tony admitted. “But I can’t help being jealous…”

Pepper crossed the room back to where Tony had sat. “I wish I could say something to fix things…”

“I’m just doing the communication thing,” Tony told her. “You know I love Bruce… But…”

“We’re married,” Pepper said and sat down next to him. She stacked tablets and set them on the coffee table. “And you thought I was dead…and now I’m back…with our daughter…and I’m pregnant with his child… It’s a lot for you to take in…”

“He’s supposed to be my lab buddy!” Tony continued. “And now…I just keep thinking that it’s okay if he goes off and disappears…but then I think of how horrible that sounds at the same time…”

Pepper just stared at Tony. “Do you really mean that?” she asked quietly.

“No.”

Pepper frowned. “Bruce—“

“Pep,” Tony said and sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I just… I haven’t seen you in a year… I’ve grieved for you… I just want you all to myself for a while...even if it’s just us having meals together…”

“I missed you too,” she whispered. 

“You should go to bed…in bed…” Tony told her.

“What about the paperwork?” 

“It’ll get done…later…” Tony told her. He shrugged. “Go on… You need sleep in a proper bed.”

“So do you.”

“Pep—“

“There’s enough room for both of us,” Pepper told him. “I don’t want you out here sleeping on the couch.”

“You need your space…and I want to be close if you need help with Sophia…” 

“Which is why I’m not trying to banish you to one of the other rooms in the house,” Pepper told him.

“Natasha will kill me…” 

“Natasha doesn’t have to know,” Pepper said and took his hand and then stood up. “Come on… We’re adults… If you’re really that worried that I’ll freak out…I’ll put a pillow in between us…” She remembered when Bruce used to sleep up against the bed while holding her hand. She knew that she had to think of more than just herself in this…

“You know she’s going to know…”

“Tell her she can deal with me then…”

Tony smirked as he got up to his feet. “Can I watch?”

“You’re incorrigible…”

“And that’s why you love me.”

 

. . .

 

The night hadn’t gone quite smoothly after they’d gone to bed in their bed. Pepper had put a wall of pillows between them and that had kept them separate enough. It was still comforting for her to know he was there though. She hadn’t woken the whole house up again, but Sophia had been up several times. Finally, Pepper had snuck out of the room with Sophia and had set to work making brunch while Sophia hung out in the bouncer. 

She started the coffee and just started to throw things together. She knew that Tony had had a long night and that he’d intended to go into the office this morning. That hadn’t happened…and he still had so much paperwork to do. 

“SHIELD is at the door,” JARVIS announced.

“Have you woken Tony?”

“I thought it best for him to sleep.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Pepper said with a smile.

“Shall I let them in?”

“Yes, please,” Pepper said and pulled out some coffee mugs. She wasn’t exactly who was here, but she was sure that they’d probably like to have some coffee in a few minutes once it was ready. Normally, she was sure she’d worry about her appearance, but today she really didn’t. 

“Is he still sleeping?” Clint asked as he entered her line of sight along with Natasha.

Pepper nodded. 

“Good,” he said and then motioned for whoever was with him to come in. 

Bruce.

She sucked in breath as she tried to process. It seemed like so much longer since she’d seen Bruce and not the Hulk. Pepper realized that it probably was better that Tony wasn’t up yet. This gave them a little bit of time…though she wasn’t sure if it was going to be anything in private.

“Hi,” Bruce said a little nervously. He raised a hand up and then clasped it back with the other in front of him. She noticed that he was looking around and that he didn’t seem comfortable being there at all.

“Hi,” she replied sweetly and motioned to the chairs. “Come on… Sit down… Coffee in a few minutes…”

“We have to go actually, unless you need us,” Clint said. “You know… I’m available for babysitting…”

“We’ll be fine,” Pepper told them.

Natasha was holding Clint in place, but she eyed Pepper from where she stood. “You’re sure?”

“I am.”

“JARVIS has our number.

“Still on file,” JARVIS piped up.

Pepper watched them go and then looked over at Bruce, who hadn’t moved. She motioned to the chairs again. “Sit down…”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Because I can go—“

“Stop that… Right now… I haven’t been up long enough to argue with you about this,” Pepper scolded. 

“Long night?”

Pepper nodded. She pushed an empty mug towards him. 

“Do you mind if I ask for tea instead?”

“I’ll put the kettle on,” she said as she retrieved it. She filled it up with water, set it on the stove, and turned up the heat. Pepper went to work on pulling out their tea selection and then setting it near him. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really…”

“How long have you been…fixed?”

“It’s not fixed really… Reed’s still figuring out how to get me back to normal,” Bruce explained. “This is just…like Killian had me. They got my pattern to freeze to ‘Bruce’ instead of ‘Hulk’. Apparently, I’m much more agreeable this way…”

“Tony said that the Hulk wasn’t very happy with him,” Pepper shared.

Bruce shrugged. “He’s a lot more vocal with his jealousy…”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Bruce told her and reached out to cover her hand with his. He was looking right into her eyes. “I told you before that I want you to be happy… This baby… If you want me to have nothing to do with it, then that’s fine… I’ll go away…to India or Africa or somewhere…and I’ll disappear… I’ll leave you alone. I don’t want to make things hard for you and Tony…”

“He’s still processing,” Pepper admitted. 

“I think we’re all still processing…”

“But I don’t want you to go and disappear…”

“And what about this baby?” he asked.

“I don’t know…” she whispered truthfully. She looked over to where Sophia was, she was so quiet. She’d thought for a moment that maybe she’d fallen asleep. 

“I honestly don’t want to make things hard, Pepper…”

“You’d make things harder by disappearing.”

“Don’t tell him that,” Tony said.

They both turned in his direction and Pepper frowned at him. “Tony—“

“Let him go off and run away to save the rainforest or whatever he does when he hides away… I’ll fund the adventure…complete with jet…”

Pepper was just glaring at him as he came into the room. She watched as he entered and leaned down to kiss Sophia on top of her head and then moved to her, she wanted to pull away because she was upset with him, but didn’t. He kissed her cheek and then moved to the other side where Bruce was. He sat down next to him. Pepper pushed a mug of coffee in front of him, but was still angry with him.

Tony sipped his coffee and then looked between the two of them. “I’m kidding…”

“I would,” Bruce told him.

Tony shrugged. “The kid deserves to know his or her father…”

“I don’t want people to know it’s mine though,” Bruce said and looked between them. “People hunt me… They want to experiment on me… Do you know what they’d do if they knew I had offspring?”

“It’s not going to be green, is it?” 

“I doubt it,” Bruce said seriously. 

“Because the green would give it away,” Tony continued.

Pepper tried to busy herself with getting food together. She was still upset about Tony’s serious sounding ‘joking’. It was just too early in their day. “I think we should seriously talk about things though…”

“We could wait, Pep,” Tony said. “I promise to behave and not bash his face in…”

“I’m so glad that I brought Pepper back to you,” Bruce teased.

“You know you missed me,” Tony told him.

“I’m thinking now…maybe not so much…” Bruce said before sipping his tea.

Pepper pushed plates in front of them both. She didn’t care if Bruce said he wasn’t hungry, he was going to eat anyways. She got herself a glass of water and then moved to check on Sophia. She really wanted them to figure out what was going on. It would make her feel so much better if some things were settled now. It would take a weight off of her and she’d feel like she could really work on what she felt and what the future was going to look like.

She moved so that she sat a few chairs away from Bruce and Tony, so she had space but that she also wanted to be close to Sophia. Pepper pulled the plate she’d set down for herself over and started to eat and just let Tony and Bruce chat for a bit. She figured that maybe if they chatted amongst themselves for a bit that Tony would be more cooperative as far as their conversation was going to go. Pepper really needed to have the conversation and to have things resolved.

Finally when things were quiet, Pepper looked over at them. They were both looking at her and she found herself a little uncomfortable suddenly. The quietness was nice. She knew it couldn’t last and she needed to find out what they were going to do. It really did involve all three of them. “Can we talk now? Or do you two need more time?” she asked them. They just looked back and forth between each other and her. 

“I think we’re good,” Tony said. “Let’s talk about this…”

“What do you want to do, Pepper?” Bruce asked.

“This child is yours, too,” Pepper told him. “It’s not just about what I want…”

“I’ve already told you that I don’t think it’s safe that people know that it’s mine…” Bruce told her. “I really don’t know what else to say right now…”

“So…it would be okay if this child is thought to be mine?” Tony spoke up.

Pepper watched Tony and Bruce look at each other. Worry rose in her, but she just waited. As much as this was a conversation between her and Bruce, it also involved Tony. Since coming home, she knew that no matter how much she loved Bruce…she loved Tony…and she loved him enough to stay with him as his wife. That wasn’t going to change. 

“Sure,” Bruce said. “We’ve got similar coloring…”

“And we’re both geniuses…except, you know I’m—“

“I thought we were having a serious adult conversation?” Pepper asked as she interrupted and looked at Tony. 

“I’m still learning,” Tony offered. “I’m just saying… Both Sophia and this baby could both carry the Stark name… Unless you want them to be called Potts, Pep…”

“No,” Pepper said quietly. 

“I know that I’m not exactly the world’s most loved person…” Tony said. “I suppose them carrying my name could be just as dangerous…”

“I feel like it’s less dangerous than association with me,” Bruce argued.

“I don’t know—“

“I still don’t feel like we’ve figured things out,” Pepper told them.

“You and Tony will raise the baby and he or she will be a Stark,” Bruce surmised. “Unless I missed something…”

“Sounds about right,” Tony piped up.

They made it sound like nothing. Maybe it was easier for them to just go back and forth like that. Though, they did make valid points about who knew and the name… “What about seeing the baby?” Pepper asked.

“Pep, I’m not going to upset this family…”

“You’re not going to disappear into some jungle,” Tony told him. He teased, “As much as I might want you to…” 

“Thanks,” Bruce told him as he shook his head.

“But seriously,” Tony said and looked over to Pepper. 

She just looked at him; she didn’t actually believe he was going to be serious. So far, there hadn’t been enough serious conversation. Maybe they thought that it would be easier for her if they weren’t deadly serious about it. She didn’t know. All she knew was that she wanted to make sure that she didn’t have to worry about things when the baby was born… Dealing with everything now made her feel better about the future… She’d had enough time dreading what the future would look like.

“You should come work for me,” Tony said. “I’m an awesome boss…”

Pepper and Bruce just stared at Tony. She wondered how different he’d been at Stark Industries, but if he’d be back to normal now that she was back. Pepper wanted to return to work, but she knew that wasn’t possible. She’d be able to do work from home, though, and she was sure that she could get Tony caught up on paperwork. 

“Okay… So, obviously…Pepper’s back…which means that even if I’m CEO…she’s really in charge…” Tony looked at her and smiled. “You’ve always been in charge.”

“Nice of you to notice,” she whispered as she smiled back at him.

 

. . .

 

“This is a really bad idea,” Bruce told her.

Pepper frowned at him. “It’s really not that horrible of an idea…” She was standing around while he unpacked his small bag of clothes that Tony had insisted he went out and bought since he didn’t have anything with him. She’d insisted that they stay in one of the guest rooms. The Stark Malibu Mansion had enough room that they could easily house Bruce. It wouldn’t be a big deal at all. She and Happy used to practically live there all the time anyways.

“Tony already gives me the evil eye…”

“He offered you a job—“

“He’s just being nice,” Bruce countered. “He’s doing it all because of you…because he doesn’t want to lose you, which I can’t blame him for…”

“It makes sense—“

“Does it?”

“Yes.”

“Or are you afraid to be here?” Bruce asked as he looked around. “Tony’s gone all day doing the job that you were so used to doing… You have Sophia and you’re pregnant… You know, you could hire someone to help.”

Pepper frowned, “I don’t want a stranger in this house.”

“I’m sure Agnes would relocate…”

Pepper smiled a bit. “You should see how many chickens she has.”

“It was Kansas.”

“They were ceramic.”

“I’m just saying… You don’t need me here,” Bruce told her. “I’m just going to make things harder between you and Tony.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am.”

“Bruce—“

Her words were cut off as he moved in and his lips were on hers. Pepper couldn’t think at first, but then she pulled back and just stared at him. “I still love you, Pepper…”

“We can’t do this…”

“I told you, I can’t be here…” he reminded. His hand ran down her arm and she closed her eyes as she tried to think of what they needed to do. 

She thought she’d figured it all out. She thought that figuring out what would happen with the baby would be enough. Bruce had agreed that she and Tony should raise the child as theirs with the Stark name…but then this? She just couldn’t think straight.

“Pep—“

“What’s going on here?” 

Pepper turned and opened her eyes. “Happy…”

“You said you still needed a few things,” Happy said. “But if I’m interrupting…” he added and she really didn’t like the tone. He had obviously had seen something. 

She had no idea how long he’d been standing there. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep things from Tony; it was just that she was sure that Happy would have a different way of looking at things. “I know… I lost track of time…and I was just trying to make sure Bruce was settled.”

“I think he’s settled,” Happy said gruffly.

Pepper just nodded and then looked back at Bruce. How did things just get so confusing again?

 

. . .

 

“I don’t like this,” Happy told her as they pulled back up to the house. They’d been gone for most of the day with Sophia. Natasha was on stand-by just in case they needed her, but so far, they’d been able to move about under the radar. They had gone out for lunch and then had picked up some more things for Sophia. It had taken much longer than she’d noticed that Happy had seemed excited about.

“What?”

“Banner moving in… It’s dangerous… And I know that he wants more than just friendship with you,” Happy said before getting out of the car.

Pepper sighed as she sat in the car. Happy had been told the extremely cliff notes version of what had happened. He just knew that Killian had held her and Bruce…that she’d had Sophia and she was Tony’s. That was it. He didn’t know she was pregnant again or how she felt about Bruce or what Killian did to her. She hadn’t thought that it was something that Happy needed to know. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust him, she just wanted to spare him from any upset or other emotions that he didn’t need to bash himself over because there was nothing he could have done to change things. And Pepper knew that was where the conversation would have gone.

He opened her door and she went to work on unhooking the carrier from the base of Sophia’s car seat and then carefully moved it along as she scooted over and pulled it along. “I’ll get it, Pep.”

“He’s a good guy, Happy.”

“Look, I saw Tony the last year… You’re back… I just don’t want to have to see Tony go through something like that again,” Happy explained.

“Bruce isn’t running away with me.”

“He’s a smart guy, right? Though Tony says not as smart as he is.”

Pepper smiled and got out of the car. She watched as Happy carefully pulled out the carrier with two hands. She pushed the door shut and he looked at her like he’d failed in some way. “Happy, I can close the car door shut…”

“I thought Tony said you’re not supposed to be lifting anything heavier than Sophia.”

“Yes.” Pepper just walked along with him. “The car door was more pushing…”

“I still don’t want to see you hurt…”

“Don’t worry so much, Happy,” she whispered as they walked up the steps. “Things are going to get better. They have to.” And she was sure they would. They really did have to. She, Tony, and Bruce had already discussed the baby…now it was just figuring out how Bruce worked into everything and where he was going to be. 

“I worry… You and Tony are far more worrisome than waiting for my favorite characters to finally be together on ‘Downton Abbey’,” Happy said with extreme frustration.

Pepper just smiled and shook her head. 

“I worry is all.”

“Don’t worry, Happy…”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	14. Bruce: Way to Complicate Things

Her screams woke the whole house again. He went running the moment that the sound had hit his ears. He knew better than waiting. Pepper’s nightmares were reoccurring and though it had been suggested to her to see a counselor, she hadn’t felt ready yet. He didn’t know if she’d really ever ‘feel ready’ though. He stopped at the bedroom door and looked in. Tony was trying to wake Pepper up and Sophia was screaming her head off. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Tony said to him.

Sometimes Pepper snapped right out of then nightmare and sometimes she fought you, like she was right now with Tony, as if you were Killian. “Get Sophia,” Bruce said as he moved to where Tony had been. He gently rolled her completely over on her side and cupped her cheeks. “Pepper… Pep…” he whispered and then realized she was warm. He moved his hand to her forehead. Bruce frowned. He immediately started to panic. Sophia was quiet and Pepper had calmed down for the moment, but was still tossing.

“Why isn’t she awake?”

“How long has she been this warm?” Bruce asked as he got to his feet.

“I don’t know,” Tony said quietly. He motioned to the bed. “We’ve been sleeping with the pillow in the middle… I don’t touch her while she’s asleep… She was quiet tonight.”

Bruce frowned and headed for the bathroom. He was worried, but he had a feeling that he was worrying for no reason. He had to be sure though. Bruce didn’t want anything happening to Pepper or the baby. “She’s got to get cooler,” Bruce said as he entered the bathroom. He grabbed a washcloth and got it soaked with cool water, rung it out, and then returned to Pepper’s bedside. He laid it across her forehead before looking to Tony. “Maybe she’s caught the flu… It could be stress manifesting in the physical sense. She’s been through a lot…”

“I’ve been trying to give her space,” Tony said. He’d set Sophia back down in her crib, so Bruce assumed she’d fallen back to sleep. He was still standing back, though, and he had his arms crossed over his chest and he was sort of rocking on his feet. Bruce could only think that he was nervous and scared.

Tony wasn’t the only one.

“I know,” Bruce said quietly. “I thought that we’d resolved things…” He hung his head and rubbed his eyes as he realized maybe he had screwed up. “I…I kissed her yesterday…” Bruce whispered.

“Excuse me?”

“I was trying to prove that me living here was a bad plan… Happy sort of walked in on things…” Bruce told him. He was being hauled up, pulled out of the bedroom, into the hall, and up against a wall.

“What the hell did you think you were doing?!” Tony fumed.

“I—“ Bruce tried to think of something reasonable to tell Tony. “I don’t know! I love her! I hadn’t had any time alone with her since everything that happened and I couldn’t resist!”

Tony let him go and Bruce dropped a few inches to the floor. “I thought I could trust you—“

“You can! I never planned on falling in love with your wife! It just happened!”

And it had.

Bruce had tried to fight it, but they’d needed each other. As much as he’d like to just walk away from her, Pepper didn’t want that…and deep down inside, he didn’t want that either. It was nice to belong after being on the run for so long. He liked having a family and he liked being apart of something… He liked waking up in the same bed and having people who cared about him. 

“What are we going to do? You and I both love her…” Tony asked and walked away from him.

“She’s too good for both of us.”

“I was hoping she wouldn’t realize that,” Tony teased.

Bruce smirked and then shook his head. He looked towards the bedroom. “Whatever we do…we do it for Pepper…and Sophia and the baby…”

“Agreed.”

“What are we going to do about the nightmares?” Bruce asked. “It can’t be good for her…or any of us to wake up every night or more like this… But she doesn’t want to see a shrink…”

“Right now you’re worried about how warm she is though,” Tony pointed out.

“We should get her into a cool shower or bath,” Bruce told him. 

Tony nodded. 

“Do you want to do that?” 

“I have a shower here,” Tony said and motioned to the bathroom off of his and Pepper’s room. “There’s a bath in your bathroom down the hall... I don’t know which would work better.”

“We have to wake her up first,” Bruce said and moved past Tony and into the kitchen. He retrieved a glass and filled it halfway up with water. He proceeded back towards the bedroom.

“Are you seriously going to do that?”

“Do you have a better way?”

“Can’t we just drag her into the shower?”

“No,” Bruce responded with a shake of his head. Bruce held the glass right above her forehead. He noticed that Tony had stayed back. Bruce didn’t mind being the ‘bad guy’ when it came to ensuring that Pepper was cared for. He tilted it so that only a small bit of water hit her forehead before rolling down her face. He froze when she stirred a bit, but her eyes didn’t open.

“No more water, Bruce,” Pepper complained after a minute. Eventually she opened her eyes to stare at him.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Tony’s smarter,” Pepper mumbled.

Bruce couldn’t help but laugh. “You were screaming in your sleep again…and when I came to check on you, you felt warm. You wouldn’t wake up. Tony and I both tried…but we really need to get you into a bath or shower.” 

“I’d rather lay here,” she told him.

He decided that he wasn’t going to argue with her. Bruce just put his arms under her, scooping her up (and tried not to bring sheets and blankets along), and started to head towards the nearest bathroom. She started to mumble irritated at him, but he just kissed her forehead. “Sorry, Sweetheart.”

“I heard that,” Tony mumbled behind him.

Bruce didn’t care. He still loved her and right now, he was the one doing what was best for her. So, he was fairly sure that he had earned being able to call her that. He was going to make sure that she got into the shower and got cooled down. 

 

. . .

 

“Good morning! The time is now seven o’clock. It is a beautiful day in Malibu! It is currently fifty-five degrees and—“

“That’s enough, JARVIS,” Bruce spoke up. “No one’s ready to be up yet.” He sighed as he tried to adjust himself. He was so uncomfortable. Bruce had fallen asleep next to Pepper’s side of the bed on the floor and had held her hand through part of the night; he’d waited for Tony to fall asleep first. He’d gotten up to check on her and every time he had she’d seemed fine. He rubbed his eye sockets and wished that JARVIS hadn’t woken him up. He’d been up not too long before with Sophia, not that he minded.

“Mr. Stark has his first appointment at eight, Mr. Hogan will be here promptly at seven-thirty,” JARVIS announced.

“I’m getting up,” Tony complained.

“If you wake up Sophia, I’m going to punch you,” Bruce told him.

“I’ll be quieter,” Tony whispered. There was silence and then Tony spoke up again. “Also, you in this room this early…it’s creepy…”

Bruce smirked. “Maybe you should get used to it.”

“Maybe you should sleep down the hall.”

“I got up with Sophia twice—“

“Never mind, you can sleep on the floor,” Tony amended. “I’ll have Happy pick you up one of those memory foam dog beds…”

“Thoughtful.”

“I thought so. Did you notice, I said ‘memory foam’.”

“I did notice,” Bruce said back and couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. “Not sure if that’s going to help my back though…”

“I’ll have him get two…and then you know maybe you should join one of those yoga classes they do on the beach… I’m sure it’ll be good for the big guy too.”

“Are you going to get out of bed?”

“I don’t want to,” Tony said. 

Bruce peeked up over his shoulder and saw that Tony was still on his side of the pillow wall and was watching Pepper sleep. He couldn’t blame him for worrying over her, but he knew that he could take better care of him. Though, Bruce knew that he was out of practice…she’d been gone a year and she’d come back different. Bruce knew that she’d feel better and things would normalize the longer she was back in the familiar and safe environment. 

“I could just cancel—“ Tony started to say.

“Anthony Edward Stark,” Pepper spoke up. “Get out of this bed and get into that shower.”

“I thought you were asleep.”

She sighed, suddenly sat up, and looked between them. “Do you think I can really sleep with the two of you talking? And JARVIS giving the wake-up call?”

“Sorry, Pep,” they both mumbled. 

Tony got out of bed and hurried across the bedroom in just his boxers as he closed himself up in the bathroom. The shower was going a moment later. 

Bruce stared at Pepper, who still didn’t look very pleased. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. She was exhausted, he could see that. He knew that severe fatigue was a possible symptom during the first trimester. “Do you remember if you were this tired during the first trimester when you were pregnant with Sophia?”

“I haven’t even tried to figure out when that was,” Pepper told him. She still kept her eyes shut, and it still worried him.

“Last year,” he said. “November, December, January, February…” He wasn’t quite sure if Sophia was forty weeks when she was born, but he knew that she was definitely not eight weeks early. 

“Maybe,” she whispered and then opened her eyes and tilted her head back down to look at him. “Last Christmas was when everything happened with the Mandarin…” Pepper said and then covered her face. He continued to watch her. “Maybe… I guess I was tired… All of those months… There was a lot going on…”

“We need to get you into see a proper doctor. An OBGYN,” Bruce told her. “And you need to talk to someone…”

Pepper covered her face again for a moment and then dropped her hands. “I’ve talked to you and Tony…and Agnes…and to Natasha… I just don’t want to talk anymore…”

Bruce really didn’t know what he was going to do. He felt like she needed to at least go one time. He didn’t know if she was scared or if she really just was tired repeating herself. “What if Natasha comes over? You said you talked to her before, if we all left you two alone for several hours…if you wanted to talk, you could…and if you don’t, then that’s fine too…but then at least you would have the opportunity.” She still didn’t look too pleased. He was trying to compromise. He was really worried and he really didn’t know what else to do.

“If it’s going to make you feel better, then fine…” Pepper said. She moved some of the pillow wall and laid widthwise across the bed so that her head was near his. Pepper reached out and took his hand in hers and set it under her head as she lay it down. “Everyone’s so worried… I’m not going to crack… Killian already tried to break me into a million pieces…”

“I just want to help,” Bruce told her and 

“I know,” she whispered. She moved so that her head touched his and stared at him. “I really am okay…”

“The nightmares—“

“I don’t think a shrink has a pill to banish them.”

“You’re right.” He reached up and gently ran his fingers through her hair. He missed being close to her. He missed being the person that she kissed and hugged and clung to. That wasn’t his place, though…he knew Tony was right. They needed to figure it out. Whatever they did, it had to be for Pepper and the kids. 

The shower stopped and Bruce knew that Tony would be out soon enough. He didn’t care. He wasn’t going to leave Pepper right now. Once she was back to sleep, he had figured that he could take Sophia into one of the common areas and just hang out with her while Pepper slept. Bruce looked up at her and she seemed content enough, but still exhausted. 

“You’re still here?” Tony asked quietly as he emerged from the bathroom. 

“Tony—“

“What?”

Bruce turned to see far too much of Tony and immediately averted his eyes back to Pepper. “I know we’re friends, Tony…but I really didn’t need to see that…” Bruce told him.

“So, don’t be in our bedroom.”

“Our bedroom?” 

Tony was rummaging through dressers and then stopped. “That really didn’t sound right…”

“I’m sure there’s room in the bed for three,” Pepper teased. Bruce could see her bright smile and they just waited for Tony’s reaction.

“Wait…” 

Bruce got up on the edge of Pepper’s side next to her and bounced a bit. “It’s very comfortable…”

“That’s not what I meant,” Tony told them as he walked past them in boxers. “This is not funny while I’m trying to get ready for work…”

“And you complain about how long I take,” Pepper teased.

“Is this gang up on Tony day?” he asked.

“You should check your calendar more carefully,” Bruce played along. He had to admit; he liked it much better when they were all like this. The teasing and the lighted mood, it was always so much enjoyable between the three of them rather than it was just him and Tony…maybe it was because Pepper always poked fun at Tony. 

“JARVIS,” Tony said as he crossed the room and disappeared into the walk-in closet. “Does my calendar indicate it is gang up on Tony day?” 

“Perhaps you should consult, Ms. Potts,” JARVIS spoke up.

Bruce grinned and looked over to a grinning Pepper. He could hear Tony groan in frustration while still in the closet. He leaned back with his hands supporting himself as he lounged on the bed. He was enjoying thinking about the faces he was sure Tony was making in the closet. He eventually appeared again, this time dressed. 

“Your tie is crooked,” Pepper spoke up.

“Will you fix it?” Tony said as he approached them. 

Pepper moved so that she was sitting next to him and was immediately fixing his tie and making sure that he looked perfect. “There…” she said and then she was dusting off his shoulders, though Bruce saw none. The suit was pristine, but he was sure that it was just something that she always did. Tony leaned in and kissed Pepper and Bruce looked away.

He was sure that Tony was trying to make a point. Pepper was his wife. She carried his last name, even if she didn’t use it. They shared a bedroom; he slept down the hall when he wasn’t on the floor at her bedside. 

“I won’t be late,” Tony told her.

“No kiss for me?” Bruce teased once he’d returned his gaze back to Pepper. He saw Tony rolling his eyes, but then he was leaning in and kissing his forehead. 

“Goodbye wife…and other wife,” Tony teased with a wave and then he was gone.

“Wife?” Bruce asked and looked at Pepper.

She was still grinning. “You could be his husband instead…” she teased.

“Can I just stick with being Bruce?”

“You know you asked for it,” Pepper pointed out.

“Yeah, remind me never to tease Tony like that again…”

 

. . .

 

The more that he was with Sophia and Pepper in that house without Tony there, the more he hated that he’d agreed to stay. Bruce was sure that he should have just left, but then at the same time…he worried that Pepper wouldn’t be as well taken care of. He knew that Tony was trying to be respectful, but Bruce could get away with a bit more since he’d been with her for the last several months. He knew how far to push and his doctor skills had come in handy.

“You have that look again.”

“What look?” he asked.

“The look that Tony doesn’t like,” Pepper informed him. 

Bruce smiled and looked away. “I can’t help it.”

“You two fighting over me isn’t going to help things.”

“Isn’t that what women dream about? Two men fighting for her?” Bruce teased. He knew what she meant. She wanted there to be some peace in her life, but she’d been the one who insisted on him staying. He’d been resigned to leave their child to be raised as Tony’s with his name and everything. He still felt like it was for the best. He wanted their child to be raised with people who loved each other and he knew that was Pepper and Tony. No matter how crazy things got, that was always the most true thing. 

“No,” Pepper said. “It’s only true when you’re fifteen…”

“And Tony and I felt like we were doing such a good job,” he teased.

Pepper shook her head. She was doing work on a tablet. She’d been insistent that she tried to help Tony from home where she could. She knew that he’d gotten a little behind with her surfacing. Bruce had been trying to help where he could. He’d actually helped with a load of paperwork before Sophia had woken up again. “You know I wish I didn’t have to chose,” Pepper said as she looked over at him. Her voice was quiet and concerned. “Right?”

“I know,” he whispered back. “Is that why you don’t want me to leave? So you don’t feel like you had to chose?” 

“No,” she said and looked up at him. “I just don’t want to lose you yet… I don’t know if I can handle things without you here is all… Is that horribly selfish of me?”

“Absolutely not,” Bruce told her. “You know I’ll stay as long as you feel like you need me?”

Pepper set aside the tablet. “And what if I feel like I never need you too far away?”

“I think Tony would have concerns about that…”

“He’d get over it,” Pepper whispered. 

Bruce wondered if it was really best though. He was fairly sure that Tony would get bored with his presence there after so long. Bruce felt like Tony deserved to be able to have time to enjoy the life experience that was having a spouse being pregnant and enjoying Sophia. Tony had missed out on Pepper being pregnant with Sophia, had missed her birth, and had missed the first part of her little life. He needed to have the opportunity to experience all of that as well. Bruce had been able to be there for Pepper and he’d seen her through all of that…so if he disappeared…he knew the most he’d feel like he’d be sad about missing was the birth of their child… 

“He would, Bruce,” Pepper told him and crossed the room to sit next to him. He was rocking Sophia in his arms. He would always be more than happy to help with Sophia. Even though she wasn’t his daughter, he felt so connected to her. 

“I don’t want to come between you two,” Bruce reminded.

She was looking at him like she’d had this conversation with him before. Maybe they had. All he knew was that he still had concerns. “Aldrich Killian came between Tony and I... I just don’t know where we are yet… Things are—“

“Things aren’t where they were,” Bruce spoke up. “But that has to do with me being here…what happened…”

Pepper leaned against him. Her body felt heavy against his and he just smiled. It was comforting to feel her against him. “Maybe I just complicate things.”

“Only in a good way.”

“Tomorrow Natasha is going to be spending the day with me,” Pepper spoke up. “I was wondering if you could watch Sophia for a couple of hours? I hate to be away from her, but Natasha thinks it would be better if I got out of the house.”

“I think she’s right,” Bruce agreed. “And you know I’ll do it. I love her. She’s a sweetheart…” He kissed Pepper’s head. “Just like her mother.”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	15. Life Changes

Pepper had done everything she’d told Bruce that she’d do and she still felt the same. Though, she was feeling more like she needed to go back to Stark Industries. She’d been home for nearly a month and kept under the radar… Natasha had told her that they needed to handle things delicately. 

“Pep—“

“I just want to go in for a few hours,” Pepper argued.

“Bruce, talk some sense into her,” Tony pleaded.

Pepper knew that Tony would flip out. That’s why she hadn’t talked about it the night before with him. She knew that it would be a shock to everyone and had no idea how they thought that they could ‘delicately’ address that the world thought she was dead for a year and oh by the way she had a daughter and was pregnant already. No matter what, there was going to be suspicion and scandal. PR would deal with it. She and Tony would get through it.

“Really?” Bruce asked. 

Tony glared at him. “You really need to be more helpful.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re practically the other husband,” Tony said that. Pepper and Bruce just stared at him. “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Pretty sure…”

Pepper shook her head. That was all she needed, two husbands. “That’s great you two… Pepper Potts alive with infant and already pregnant…now with two husbands… Please tell me that the story isn’t going to be that I was kept hidden away because of PTSD or something…”

“SHIELD’s been putting something together,” Tony told her. “Pep…please…”

“I can’t just hide away, Tony… The longer you ‘hide’ me, the more it’s going to look suspicious…”

“I can’t just let you go in without warning someone…” Tony told her.

“You can’t have Happy secure it? Get her in, no one else needs to know?” Bruce offered.

“This is why you’re not the other husband,” Tony shot him down.

She shook her head. She’d been dressed and ready to go. She knew what needed to be done at Stark Industries and she knew what appointments Tony had to do. Bruce had already agreed to watch Sophia for a few hours. That’s all she wanted. Half a day. “Please, Tony…”

“Pep—“

“I know that you went through a lot…a lot to get the company back,” Pepper said. She knew all of that and she wondered if that was why he was so worried… Was he worried about losing everything? Of being embarrassed in front of her? She wasn’t going to let him fall down into that deep dark hole, just like she was going to keep him safe. She knew it. “I just want to help you with things… I need to do something, Tony… More than what I’ve been doing… Bruce said he’d watch Sophia and—“

“I knew he was in on this,” Tony said quickly.

“Are you really going to keep me caged up like this?” she asked as she swallowed hard. Tears welled up in her eyes. She was so sick of it. She’d been out here and there, but it had never been with Tony and it had never been to just enjoy the day. She just felt like she was suffocating and she wanted to do so much more. 

“Pep—“

“I can’t just go out and do whatever I want, Tony,” she said a little softer. Pepper turned away from them and reminded herself that she wasn’t asking something horrible. “I just… I want to be able to live again, Tony…” She looked down and fiddled with her hands. “I want to be able to help you with Stark Industries…”

“She’s sort of got a clock going,” Bruce spoke up. “Depending on how this pregnancy goes, it might be a few months or right up until she delivers… But she needs this… And I do think it’ll help, especially if she’s able to ease into it…”

Pepper turned to look at them. Tony still looked worried. That’s the thing; he just looked concerned and worried, not mad. She wondered if he partly still wanted to keep her to himself. That really wasn’t happening right now since Bruce was there, but she wondered if that was a motive. “Please, Tony…”

“Happy is going to stay with you…” Tony said. “We’ll have to find him a laptop when we get there and let him play games or watch his shows or whatever…”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“I’ll put in a call to Fury… See if they can speed up whatever story they’re going to spin, so that you don’t have to hide.” Tony crossed the room to her and ran his hands along her arms. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I just—“

“I know you’re just trying to look out for me,” she told him as she stared at him. 

“I have no idea what Fury’s people are going to come up with,” Tony added. “Let’s just hope it’s not insanely crazy…”

“I was hoping that the board might feel more confident with you if they knew I was back… You should be CEO. It makes sense, especially now…but I was hoping that maybe you wouldn’t have to be stressed so much if they knew that you had me as support.”

“They could worry that my attention could be divided too,” Tony pointed out. “But I think you’re right… They’d probably feel more confident…” Tony pulled her into his arms. “I just…I want to keep you safe, Pep…”

“I know,” she whispered. Pepper had a feeling that she and Tony would need to talk later. She and Tony really hadn’t talked much. Not alone and not about him. He’d been so focused on her. Pepper hadn’t thought to really talk to him about how he’d survived without her…everything he’d been through. She’d been told about it, but that was it. 

“Mr. Hogan is waiting, Sir,” JARVIS announced.

Tony held out his arm to her. “Mrs. Stark,” he said.

Pepper smiled. She only let him call her that at home. It wasn’t that she wasn’t proud to be married to him; it just was that she was so used to being Pepper Potts to him and it wasn’t going to change anything. She still loved him and they still both worked for Stark Industries. She took his arm and turned to Bruce. “Are you sure—“

“We’re going to be fine…” Bruce told her quickly. “I promise for her not to do any major things while you’re gone.”

 

. . .

 

The few hours she’d spent at Stark had seemed like her first day at Stark Industries all over again. She’d been overwhelmed and felt useless. Pepper didn’t know why it was nothing to do it all at home. Maybe it was because Tony had actually given her access to more work and she’d taken full advantage of it…or had tried to. 

“You okay?” Happy asked.

“Yeah,” she said as they got ready to leave. She kept looking towards the door. “I was just hoping to see Tony before I left…”

“He’s in that meeting,” Happy told her. “Could be hours…”

“I know,” she said quietly.

“Maybe we should talk about Stark Industries having an on-site daycare center,” Happy told her as he took her by the arm. He’d seemed especially concerned about her that day. Pepper wasn’t sure if it was because she was letting on exactly how hard it all was or if she just looked as exhausted as she felt. 

“That’s a lovely idea,” she told him as he expertly started to exit the building with her. 

“Are you two having problems?”

“It’s Tony and I… There’s always something that we’re working out… Isn’t that part of being married? Working out stuff?” she asked.

“I think so…”

Pepper smiled and leaned into him for a second and kissed his cheek. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you…”

Happy smiled at her. “I missed you. Terribly. I was starting to think that I was going to have to get some other job… Stark isn’t the same without you…or even without Tony, but especially without you…”

“You’re such the flatter today.”

“It’s the truth!”

“Maybe Bruce and I can work on something about a daycare proposal when I get home—“

“When is he leaving exactly?” Happy asked as they approached the car that he had parked alongside the building. He opened the door for her and Pepper slid in and then just stared back at him. 

“What is it with you and Bruce?” Pepper asked.

“He irks me…” Happy said and then shut the door. Pepper watched as he walked around to the driver’s side. He was driving her home and then would return for Tony later. Pepper just waited as patiently as possible for him to get into the vehicle again. He looked back at her once he was in and the door was shut. “I think he gets between you and Tony. I don’t like it.”

“Bruce and I became close while I—“

“I know…and he just needs to leave and let you two reconnect,” Happy said. “Him moving in only makes things tense and more awkward…”

Pepper was getting upset and even though she knew that Happy only meant well, it was hard for her. She looked away from him, pretending to look out the window, and tried to keep it together. It wasn’t easy, she blamed the raging hormones. “You just don’t know everything…” she whispered and then closed her eyes.

“So, tell me…”

“I’m so sick of talking to everyone about it, Happy…” Pepper said and finally turned back to him. Her eyes were filled with tears and she just couldn’t contain it anymore. “I just didn’t want you looking at me and worrying over me like everyone else…”

“I’m going to worry about you no matter what, Pep,” he whispered quietly. “I thought you knew that by now… You and Tony are the closest family I have.”

She pressed a smile forward. “Just…give Bruce a chance, please?”

“You’re not going to run off with him, though, right?” Happy asked. “Because I’d like a head’s up at least first…”

“No plans of running off with anyone,” she told him and felt a little bit better.

“Fine,” Happy huffed and started the car. “I just miss how things used to be.”

He pulled the car away and Pepper watched as they pulled away from Stark Industries. “So do I sometimes…” she whispered and continued to let the tears fall.

 

. . .

 

Pepper didn’t know exactly when she’d fallen asleep in the car on the way home, but she started to panic when hands where on her clothing undressing her. She pushed away hands and let out a startled cry. 

“Pep, calm down!” Bruce whispered.

“I told you not to do that!” Happy argued.

Her eyes snapped open and she got herself to a sitting position. Her heels were missing and Bruce had been in the process of removing her jacket. She was sure that he was trying to just ensure that she was comfortable so that she could sleep longer, but she still wasn’t okay with being touched, especially when she was already asleep. She tried to push the calm through her body, but Pepper was finding it a little difficult. 

“I really don’t like that you all think you can keep things from me,” Happy complained and then left the bedroom.

Bruce, on the other hand, sat on the end of the bed and just watched her. Pepper didn’t think it was really helping, but it wasn’t exactly making things worse either so she let him stay. After another minute, she calmed down and got up from the bed. She started to pace to try to think. She couldn’t help not wanting to be touched when she wasn’t aware it was going to happen…she’d tried to keep her cool when it came to it, but it was like an automatic response. 

“You okay?” he finally asked. Bruce’s voice was quiet and calm. 

Pepper looked over at him. “No.” She let out a sigh, her gaze turned upwards towards the ceiling and then she shut her eyes. “I just wish I didn’t react…like that…”

“You know you don’t have to keep things from Happy…”

“I don’t want him to look at me differently or treat me like glass,” Pepper whispered.

“Do I treat you differently?”

Pepper smiled and looked at him. “Of course you do…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” she admitted. Pepper wouldn’t mind if he didn’t treat her so much like she’d break, but that was it. She liked that he was there and would give her space, but know when to step in to take care of her.

“Happy said you fell asleep in the car.”

“He doesn’t like you very much.”

Bruce shrugged. “He’s not who I’m worried about.”

“It was just a lot,” she said and looked down. Pepper almost felt embarrassed at how much she felt like she’d failed. “I thought that I could just jump back in and that I’d get all of this work done… So much has changed in a year… I’ve changed… I was exhausted…”

“You’re pregnant, Sweetheart,” Bruce said and reached out to run his hand along her arm.

“I want to be able to help,” Pepper told him. “I used to be CEO of Stark Industries… Tony’s overwhelmed…”

“He’s going to survive…”

“I keep thinking about everything he went through—“

“He’s not the only one, Pepper,” Bruce gently reminded.

She looked into his eyes. “I know.” Pepper sighed. Sometimes it just all seemed too hard. “I just feel like I’m making it all worse for him. I’m alive and I just seem to make his life more complicated…”

“You’re not complicating things,” Bruce said. “I am.”

Pepper shook her head. It wasn’t his insistence on staying there that was cramping her marriage. She just couldn’t let Bruce go. She didn’t know if it was because she needed him like a security blanket or if it was because she needed him because she was scared of what might happen… But she loved him. She knew that her love for Bruce was part of wanting to keep him there. “I just… I don’t want you to go…”

“I know.”

“And I don’t know if Tony is serious about really feeling threatened by you being here,” Pepper admitted.

“Maybe you two need a night,” Bruce told her. “I can watch Sophia.”

“I don’t want to go out,” she admitted. Pepper felt so odd about her statement. She wanted to be out to the world as alive, but at this moment all she wanted was to be home. “I want a night in…with Sophia…”

“Well, I can disappear…”

“Only if you’ll reappear.”

“Pep, things are going to be fine with you and Tony,” Bruce told her firmly. “Tony is the luckiest guy on the planet…and it isn’t because of the company or the money or the fame or the suit… He has you…”

 

. . .

 

“Where’s Bruce?” 

“Out.”

“But he’s coming back?”

“Maybe.”

“You don’t sound too sure,” Tony pointed out.

Pepper shrugged. He doesn’t always sound so sure when he tells me. She’d just put Sophia down and she had to admit, she’d enjoyed having some time with Tony. They’d sat on the couch for a while with Sophia and though it had been a lot of just sitting and staring at Sophia, it had been precious. She looked over at him as he finally started to remove his tie and get more comfortable and wondered if he was happy. “Do you want him to?”

She could tell that she’d caught him off guard with the look he gave her. “What do you mean?”

“Do you want him to leave? Really? Do you?”

“I don’t exactly like him lusting after you… Or kissing you… He told me about that,” Tony told her. “But he’s still my friend…and I know you care about him.”

“I don’t want to make things harder on you.”

“I like knowing that there’s someone else that’s close to take care of you,” Tony told her and set aside his jacket and tie. He turned up the sleeves of his button-up shirt until they were right above the elbows. He sat down next to her so that they were face to face. “Honey, I want you to be happy. I want Sophia to be looked after without us possibly bringing in strangers. Above everything, I want us to be a family…and if that means that Bruce lives here and you and he have whatever kind of relationship you have…then I’ll work with it.” 

Pepper just stared at him. He’d said it all so calmly and matter of factly. She still didn’t quite believe it. “Tony—“

“I’m serious, Pep.”

“That’s not how I want it to be…” she told him. Pepper didn’t want him to think that she wanted to be with Bruce and that she was just staying with him because they’d been married before everything had happened. She grabbed his arms with both of her hands. “I want you, Tony… You have no idea how I wish that I could get my body to react how I want it to even when I’m not fully conscious…”

“Happy told me about what happened earlier,” Tony told her. “He’s figured out some things, but I didn’t confirm things… He’s just worried about you.”

“I know,” she whispered. She leaned in against him, letting her head fall against the crook of his neck. “I know…” 

His arms slowly wrapped around her. “I know today was a lot for you…”

“I wish I could have helped more,” she told him as she looked up at him. 

Tony kissed her forehead and smiled. “You helped more than you know…”

It felt so odd to her. She knew he was trying to be respectful and to give her space, but she missed him. She slept next to him every night, though there was a pillow barrier, and she missed being closer to him. She missed being intimate even though she worried… Pepper didn’t worry about him hurting her, she knew Tony wouldn’t, she was more scared of herself. The nightmares were hard enough; she didn’t want to scare him if something happened while they were together in that way. 

Pepper reached out and pulled his face to hers and kissed him. It wasn’t the first time, but it felt like it in a way. She didn’t want him to worry, but she knew he would no matter what. It was going to take them both some time until they were both comfortable with each other. It was almost like starting over. 

It would never be the same.

“I love you, Pep,” he whispered and kissed her cheek before pulling her close.

“I love you,” she whispered back and thought about how much she’d missed him. She even had missed him calling her ‘Mrs. Stark’ even though she always gave him a hard time about it. 

“Fury’s people have finished the story, by the way,” he said. “He’s come up with some terrorist thing… That terrorists faked your death and held you captive knowing you were pregnant or something… Something about an heir… They made it sound very convincing.”

And the story wasn’t fully a lie, which was nice. Killian really was a terrorist. “Before I’m on any cameras, you know you’re going to have to do something, right?” she asked quite seriously. She knew that he wouldn’t know what she was talking about, but Pepper was going to let him sweat it out for a moment anyways. It was still good for him. 

“What?”

She held up her left hand. “Wedding ring.”

Tony grinned at her. “I’m sure I can have a duplicate made…unless you want something different?”

“You surprise me,” she told him before leaning in to kiss him again.”

“I’m good at that,” Tony told her in between kisses.

“Oh, I know,” she said with a small laugh. 

 

. . .

 

“Why are you so nervous?”

“This is going to be the first time I’m going to be back in front of the public in a year,” Pepper told her. She sighed and smoothed her dress again. Pepper was wearing a light blue dress that matched the suit that Tony was wearing. She wanted to look perfect. Pepper knew it was silly, but she did.

“Our people have it all worked out,” Natasha tried to assure her. She’d come dressed up in a black dress and was to stand in as an assistant and extra security as needed. “Clint won’t be far off if we need any extra help.”

“I hope it won’t come to that,” she said with a sigh. Pepper wasn’t sure if she was really more nervous about being shown off to the public or the fact that they’d be exposing Sophia as well. Fury had insisted that they show off the whole ‘family’ in an effort to keep cameras away in order to get ‘first pictures’. Press would be lined up afterwards to take pictures as well, so no one would have any reason to stalk them later to get them. She wasn’t exactly comfortable with it, but it made sense. 

“Neither do I, but it’s better to be safe. Plus, I think Clint is hoping that he’ll get to hold Sophia at one point.”

Pepper smiled. “I’m sure that can be arranged.”

She was just thankful that she wasn’t showing. Or at least she didn’t think she was. Fury had already told them not to tell anyone outside of their immediate friends and to make sure that any medical appointments were kept completely confidential. Hopefully no one would do the math and hopefully no questions would arise when it came to deliver the child she was carrying. He or she was going to be a Stark, at least that’s what Bruce insisted. 

“Showtime,” Natasha said. 

Pepper sucked in breath and tried to focus on smiling and remaining calm. “Do I look okay?” she asked nervously.

“You’re going to be fine,” Natasha told her. “Let’s get Sophia and let’s get you on stage.”

Bruce was waiting with Sophia and Pepper wished that he wasn’t going to be behind the scenes the whole time. She knew that they needed to put on a show and that meant not raising any red flags. “What if someone recognizes you?” she suddenly asked Natasha.

She smiled and shrugged. “It’ll be fine.”

“Clint is out in the crowd.”

“No one’s going to wonder why I’m there…or Clint, if anyone notices… Bruce will be back here… It’s not like we have Thor and Captain America lurking around. No one’s going to think that the Avengers are assembling for something,” Natasha tried to assure her.

Pepper just nodded. 

“You’re going to do fine,” Bruce told her. 

Sophia was in a white lace dress with a big white bow headband and wrapped in a white blanket with pink satin trim. Pepper took her into her arms and smiled. She was happy that at least she wasn’t going to have to worry about Sophia fussing. She was such a good baby and she tended to sleep a lot, though Bruce told her that it was completely natural at such a young age. He always told her that she grew while she slept. 

Pepper turned to Natasha and the two of them walked carefully to the stage. Natasha had the earpiece in and knew exactly what they were supposed to do and when they were supposed to move. So, they waited and then finally started onto the stage. Tony had already been in place while the news was being announced to the crowd. Pepper was relieved that at least they told them that she’d been home for a couple of weeks recovering. 

“Here they are!” the announcer spoke up. He was a SHIELD trained agent, but Pepper didn’t know his name. He seemed like such a natural talker.

“Mrs. Virginia Stark,” he announced. “But most of you know her better as Pepper Potts.” 

Tony met her before she could make it all the way across the stage and he kissed her. They’d discussed this before, so she was prepared and they were careful with Sophia. He wrapped an arm around her and guided her closer to the middle of the stage. They both kept forward bright smiles for the cameras and occasionally she’d look down at Sophia, just to check on her.

“And then we have a new face,” the man said. “Sophia Maria Stark… She’s sure to be breaking hearts.”

Pepper held her up a bit, so that she could be seen a bit better. She beamed proudly. She felt like they were at some kind of presidential press conference more than anything else. Panic was building up in her as she thought about it too much. She wasn’t used to so many people and she wasn’t used to all the flashes. She kept a smile in place though and then looked at Tony, she wondered if he knew how uncomfortable she was getting.

Tony whispered something to the announcer and he nodded in acknowledgement. A moment later, Tony was taking her by the arm and waving at the audience as he escorted her off. She saw that Natasha was already ahead of her and down the small steps that led into the building. “You okay?” he asked as soon as they were off the stage.

“I’m just…not used to that I guess,” she said and felt dumb for saying it. She used to be in pictures all the time. The press would interview her and she’d speak in front of a crowd. She knew that this should be like getting back up on a horse. It wasn’t though. Pepper frowned and focused on breathing. Just stepping off the stage had ramped her panic down. 

“You okay?” Bruce said from behind them.

“Why don’t you take Sophia and give Pep some time to breathe? Get some water? I have to go back out there,” Tony suggested.

Bruce took Sophia from her and Natasha was handing her a bottle of water. Tony’s lips were on her temple and then he was back up on the stage. But Natasha didn’t let them stand there for long, she was moving them along. Pepper knew they had to though. Once the press was released, they’d be in that hall. Pepper didn’t want to encounter them like that. So, she was just fine with having to relocate now. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she whispered as they walked. “I should be used to this…”

“You’ll get used to it again,” Natasha assured her. 

Pepper wasn’t as confident in that, but she had to hope it was true. After all, she wanted to eventually get back to the point where she was more involved in the company than she’d been for the last few weeks. She hated feeling like this, but at the same time…she had to believe that Natasha was right. It was just going to take time. 

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	16. Normalizing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so after like 150 pages...I slow down a bit with the writing unless I'm being poked or something. As of the end of this chapter I'm at 171 pages in my Word Doc. :) I figured that I have 1-2 more chapters after this one! This whole story takes place over about 2 years and then I wanted to do a bigger time jump at the end. Sort of like at the end of "From the Ashes".

Never the same.

That was all she could think about. How her life was never going to be the same as it was before. It was both good and bad. But it made everything so much harder. Love was never the same. She loved Bruce and Tony differently. Tony had given her a new wedding ring, one that had been modified from the original. The new one had three bands and he’d said that they represented the past, present, and future. Pepper couldn’t get past thinking that they stood for Tony, herself, and Bruce. 

“You look sad, Honey,” Tony said as he carried Sophia around the room. 

She’d been fiddling with the ring and just thinking. Sophia was overtired and had been screaming with her, so Tony had taken over. She knew it was good that things were going well between them…at least as far as the three of them were concerned. Tony was stepping up where he could with Sophia and he absolutely adored her. She couldn’t help, but dwell though. Pepper would think every night how things weren’t fair to Tony, but if she ever brought it up he’d always stop her. 

“Nothing’s going to be the same again, is it?” she asked.

Tony sat down next to her, rocking Sophia still. “No,” he said quietly. He paused and then kissed her temple. “It’s going to be better,” he whispered with a smile.

She stared at him, a little shocked by his comment. Pepper wanted to ask him how he knew, but she knew he wouldn’t have a definite answer. There wasn’t anything that he could know for sure. He wasn’t a time traveler or a psychic, at least not that she knew of, so there were no certainties. There was just blind faith.

“You’re wondering how I know that,” Tony whispered and adjusted Sophia in his arms so that he could touch her cheek. Pepper nodded. “Because I love you… I know you… I know us… And I know that no matter what…and no matter who is apart of our family, we’re going to have a great future…and it’s going to be an adventure.”

“Happy doesn’t like Bruce,” Pepper pointed out.

“All families have their problems,” Tony pointed out. “Sometimes I don’t like Bruce—“

“Hey!” They turned to see Bruce walking by. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, I promise…” he said and held up his hands. “I was just going to go out…”

“No,” Tony said. “Come in…” He looked back to her. “I think it’s time we all really talk about this… About everything…”

 

. . .

 

Their talking went on for hours. Pepper had felt uncomfortable at times, but of course Bruce and Tony had just gone back and forth like they did. In the end, she wasn’t sure what new had come of things. It didn’t seem like anything had changed, but then at the same time…everything had changed. 

Sophia was fast asleep in her crib. She’d eventually fallen asleep after Bruce had walked her back and forth while they’d talked. Apparently raising a child really took a village. Pepper had to admit, she liked it that way. It seemed to give them a little more freedom when one person didn’t have to do everything when it came to Sophia’s care. Pepper loved her with all her heart, but she was up with her a lot during the night and she thought it was good that Tony especially was taking interest in taking care of her.

“Can we never get up?” Tony asked.

Pepper laughed. She was in the middle of their bed lying on her side. Tony was facing her with his arm resting on her shoulder and Bruce was spooning her with his hand on her hip. “What about the whole ‘another man in my bed’ rant?” she asked. That had gone on for a good thirty minutes when Bruce had sat on the edge of the bed. It had escalated into something more just to irritate Tony, but then she’d ended up feeling so at ease with them both there. She didn’t know why. She just had.

“I’m pretty sure I get overruled by you.”

“Good point,” she teased.

“Plus, I can tell that you’ve completely relaxed…though I’m not sure how I feel about that…”

“Oh don’t start on that… Please…” Bruce begged. His lips pressed against the back of her head. 

Pepper closed her eyes and just tried to imagine sleeping like that. She wasn’t sure if she’d love being touched the whole time, but she wondered if it would keep the nightmares away. “Does this mean I have two husbands?” she whispered.

“Apparently that happened,” Tony said matter of factly. “Happy will be both shocked and irritated…”

“I’ll let you tell him.”

“Why doesn’t he like me?” Bruce asked.

“You’re breaking up our marriage,” Tony told him, again like it was just common fact.

“Good to know—“

“Can we not spin it like that…” Pepper pleaded.

Tony kissed her forehead and then pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m not sure he really needs to know…”

“But if he catches us,” Bruce spoke up. “You’re the one who’s explaining it…”

“Excellent.” Tony sighed. “Are we still naming this other kid, Stark?”

“Have you changed your mind?” Pepper asked. She opened her eyes to look at him, concern filling her. 

“Well, things have changed.”

“Have they?” Bruce asked.

Tony shrugged against her. “You’re in bed with my wife.”

“Is this a new thing? I thought we were just lying in a bed together.”

“You’re spooning my wife! Plus, Pepper’s completely relaxed at the moment…apparently I’m not enough for her,” he said overly dramatically. He received a punch for the dramatics. “Ow… And she’s violent! No chances to back out now!” He received another punch and just laughed and hugged her tightly to him.

“I feel like this is not an equal relationship,” Bruce teased.

“Definitely not,” Tony agreed.

“I’m going to bed now,” Pepper told them. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend like she could sleep with the two of them going on. That didn’t stop either of them from continuing. 

“Pepper’s in charge of everything,” Tony went on.

She smiled as she lay there. At least Tony was finally catching on to that fact. 

“Husbands are like slaves, huh?” Bruce asked.

“Don’t give her ideas!”

“I doubt she needs me to help her with ideas.”

Pepper giggled and snuggled closer to Tony and pulled Bruce closer at the same time. She kept her eyes closed and tried to focus on being happy with them, reminding herself that she and Sophia were both safe. She just hoped that she’d get a night without waking Bruce and Tony up. 

 

. . .

 

Morning came and she was awake before JARVIS could act as an alarm. She opened her eyes and found a sleeping Tony and panic set in as she realized that there were two arms over her body, but then she remembered that Bruce was there. She’d fallen asleep with both of them in bed and hadn’t thought she’d woken up from a nightmare. Maybe they really were both what she needed. She wondered if Sophia had slept through the night because she hadn’t remembered hearing her cry.

So, she stayed still. 

Pepper listened as both Bruce and Tony slept. The sound of their breathing; the feel of the warmth and comfort of their bodies close to hers. It was the best she’d felt since before she’d been taken by Killian. It was the safest and most loved she felt. She actually felt like she could make plans for the future…even if it was farther than the next day. 

Was this how it was going to be? 

Was she okay with that?

Were they really okay with it?

What if others found out?

She knew what Tony would say. He’d say he was Tony Stark and he didn’t care what anyone else thought, and she knew that was true…to an extent. He cared what she thought. She felt Bruce’s hand move and she looked over her shoulder at Bruce, his eyes were closed but then they opened a moment later. She smiled at him and he smiled back in return.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Morning,” she whispered back.

Bruce pulled her closer and kissed her. Pepper smiled against his lips. He continued to kiss her and it was so blissful…it was almost like a dream.

“Good morning! It’s seven o’clock and a lovely morning in Malibu. Stark Industries stock has doubled since yesterday morning.” 

“That’s my girl,” Tony mumbled and pulled her towards him.

She felt like she was suddenly in a tugging match. “Me being alive doubles stock points?”

“The whole first family look is probably all over the media,” Tony mumbled into her shoulder before kissing it.

Pepper wondered if they could really just stay in bed like that all day, but Sophia soon tuned her into to reality with her cries. Both Tony and Bruce offered to get her, but Pepper stopped them. “No, I’ll get her,” she said and crawled down between them and off the bed. She padded over to Sophia’s crib and scooped her up and immediately rocked her in her arms. “Mommy’s got you,” she cooed. 

These were the moments where she felt absolutely sane and in control…at least when she could calm Sophia…and she felt almost whole. It was almost like the last year had never happened. Pepper knew that nothing would erase the past, but sometimes…when she felt so wonderfully blissful like she did…she felt like the past didn’t matter at all. 

“You need to get up and get ready,” Pepper told Tony as she held Sophia with one arm and mixed her a bottle with her free hand. 

“Come back to bed,” Tony whined.

“You have Bruce,” she teased.

“Not the same,” Tony and Bruce spoke up in unison.

She grinned and ignored them both as she fed Sophia the bottle and headed out of the bedroom. Pepper figured that if she wasn’t in the bedroom as a distraction then there was a far more likely chance of both of them actually getting up and out of bed. Pepper walked into the kitchen clad in only her panties and one of Tony’s t-shirts. She turned on the coffee maker and started to hum to Sophia as she went about walking her as she drank her bottle. 

“Can’t we go in late?” Tony asked as he padded out to the kitchen in just his boxers. “I thought you were coming into work too…”

“I’m not sure I can handle it today,” Pepper admitted. All of the cameras and the people had been a lot for her. It was a lot of exposure in a short period of time, too short. She just felt like she needed some time. “I was thinking that maybe I could work at home today… Happy brought up that maybe I should draw up a proposal for Stark Industries…”

“Oh?”

“A daycare,” Pepper told him. “If we had a daycare on site, then we could go down and see Sophia anytime… The three of us could spend lunch together… And I guess, I’d feel more comfortable having her closer…”

“I’m sure there are other benefits too,” Tony said and then leaned over to kiss Sophia’s forehead. “I think it’s a good idea… The proposal’s just got to be strong, especially if it’s something that we want modeled worldwide for the company.”

And he was right. If they were going to do it in Malibu, then it was something to be considered for any of the other Stark Industries sites. It was something that they’d never considered and maybe it was because they’d never been in the family situation, but now…they saw things differently. Things needed to change. They were making a new future, one for their family and for those within Stark Industries.

“You can have your other husband help you,” Tony told her and leaned in to kiss her. He poured himself a cup of coffee and headed back to the bedroom. “I’m going to get into the shower if you want to join me,” he called over his shoulder.

Bruce emerged from the bedroom and passed Tony. He smiled at her and ran his fingers through his hair. “I can take Sophia if you want to go shower…” he offered.

“You sure?” she asked as she tilted her head a bit. Pepper tried to gauge his emotions. They’d just been kissing before Sophia had demanded that someone get out of bed. She wondered how this all was for him. It was something odd for her still, even though it felt right, but she wondered if Bruce felt the same way. 

“I’m sure,” he confirmed and held out his arms for Sophia.

Pepper was still a little weary, but placed Sophia in Bruce’s arms and kissed her daughter’s forehead and then Bruce’s cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Her voice was quiet and questioning. She didn’t want Bruce to hurt because of her or her choices…at least no more than she’d already hurt him.

“It’s never the same with us,” Bruce told her. “You and Tony…you two are different than you and I. It’s plain to see…and though I love being able to be in your life…in whatever dysfunctional way we’ve come up with.” He was quiet for a moment. “I just want to see you happy…”

“I am happy,” she whispered. And she was. That morning was the best she’d felt. She felt clear and okay about the future. 

“Go on.”

Pepper smiled at him. She hurried off back to the bedroom and the bathroom. She was going to take advantage of the time with Tony, even if it wasn’t that much time. No matter what, she was going to take it. 

 

. . .

 

Months passed and things didn’t change much. Some mornings, Pepper woke up in between Bruce and Tony and sometimes it was just Tony. There was no system in place; it was just how it worked out. Pepper actually preferred it that way; it was the one thing in life that she didn’t mind if it was unpredictable. Somehow, no matter who was in bed with her at night, the nightmares came less and less. Pepper wasn’t sure if it was just a sense of safety or if she was finally adjusting to being home.

“You sure you’re okay with going in?” Bruce asked.

“You and Tony have become far too protective lately,” Pepper told him. She was positive that it was because she was showing now. Stark Industries PR had released a statement that she and Tony were expecting another child when she had started to show. Sometimes it was easier for everyone to know everything in their lives publicly, it meant that they weren’t hiding anything and that there was no reason for someone to hunt them with a camera.

“I just don’t want you stressed out… You can enjoy this pregnancy… I don’t think that pushing yourself with work is a good idea,” Bruce told her.

Pepper stared at him. “I only go in for a few hours…and Sophia is there… It’s not like I’m working a twelve hour day.” She shook her head. “You and Tony are both there when I’m at Stark Industries…and Happy… I have all three of you worrying about me, do you really think I’m going to push myself or stress too much? The only stress I’m going to have is from you three hovering…”

“I wouldn’t say we’re hovering,” Bruce said.

“I would.”

Bruce frowned. “We’re just—“

“Concerned,” Pepper finished. “I know… But you three need to realize that I’m not something that needs to be fixed. I’m not broken.” It had taken her some time to realize that, but she had. She wasn’t broken, no matter what Killian did to her. He hadn’t broken her. She’d created a shell, but it had slowly been shed. 

“I just—“

Pepper was already full dressed for work and had consumed her decaf coffee. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry so much,” she told him. “Things are different this year…” And they were. Christmas had actually been the hardest being back. They’d gotten through it somehow though. 

“Mamamamamam,” Sophia blurted out as she sat in her high chair. She’d grown so much that sometimes it was hard for Pepper to remember that she’d been so tiny when she’d been born. Sophia was the center of all of their worlds and she received all of their attentions when they were home. Pepper knew that she never had to worry about her daughter and that was more than just a relief. It brought her so much solace.

“Mamama,” Pepper repeated back to her daughter as she unhooked the restraints in the highchair. “So, are you going to come in with us?” Pepper asked as she picked up Sophia from her highchair. Most days Bruce went into Stark Industries, though sometimes he went with Tony while other times he waited for her. She was fairly sure that this was part of their super protectiveness taking over, him waiting now until she went in.

“Sure… Tony and I were going to work on a project—“

“Mmmhmmm… Sounds more like you guys are going to argue until Tony declares himself right and there’s a possibility of something blowing up,” Pepper commented.

“Well, we were going to do paperwork… It’s harder to blow up,” Bruce countered with a smile.

“I’m sure you two will find a way,” she teased as she held Sophia on her hip. Besides getting bigger, Pepper was so proud of her little girl. She was hitting all of her developmental marks and was usually hitting half of the ones in the next age category. Her red hair was filling in thicker and her bright blue eyes were always taking in everything around her. 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be carrying her like that,” Bruce said and was immediately trying to take Sophia from her.

Pepper sighed. So protective. “I’m only going to do it for five minutes… It’s not like I’m carrying her around like this at Stark Industries for half the day,” she told him. He was right though. She was supposed to limit her carrying in order to reduce back pain. The added weight of being pregnant was already adding enough pain. The doctor just didn’t want her to overdue it. 

“When is your next appointment?”

“It’s not really an appointment if they come here… It’s more at my beck and call,” Pepper pointed out. She still felt weird about it, but Tony pointed out that it was easier for everyone and then they wouldn’t have to worry about being stalked by cameras. It was also keeping her stress level down. 

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“If you’d check the calendar, you’d know the answer,” she teased with a smile. “Cell phones and tablets aren’t evil you know…”

“I’m not used to toting one around and following the directions it gives!” Bruce said with a sigh. 

Pepper knew that that was going to be Bruce’s response, but she still took just as much joy from it. “It’s called a schedule… I’m sure Tony could install JARVIS and add in a bossy subroutine if that would make it easier for you.”

Bruce groaned. “Please don’t mention that to him… He’ll do it.”

She kissed his cheek again and then picked up the diaper bag and her own bag from the table, but then found Bruce taking them from her immediately. He didn’t lecture though and she appreciated that. “Don’t worry,” she told him as they headed out of the house. “I won’t mention it to Tony… He’d probably install it into everyone’s phone if he really did it anyways… I like JARVIS how he is.”

“Thank you, Ms. Potts,” JARVIS spoke up.

 

. . .

 

“You have to go to the gala,” Pepper told him.

“Pep, I just wanted tonight off,” Tony told her. “I’ve gone to all of the other social appearances and I’ve been trying my best at keeping up as CEO…paperwork and all… I just—“ He let out a sigh. “I miss tinkering…”

He had been all business and taking care of her and Sophia and dealing with their situation ever since they’d been reunited. There’d been little time to play Iron Man. He actually had insisted that SHIELD try not to need him. He’d hardly had time to go down to his workshop and Pepper knew that. “Okay,” she said quietly. “I can go by myself.” It wasn’t a guilt trip. It was serious and honest and calm. 

“Take Bruce,” Tony insisted.

“How will that look?”

“Like a friend is escorting you,” Tony told her. 

Pepper smiled at him. They’d been careful not to bring any extra attention to themselves. “He might not want to go,” Pepper said. 

“He’ll go.”

“You can’t order him around,” Pepper pointed out. They were home and she knew that she should feel more relaxed, but she wanted to get everything in order for the gala. Someone needed to make an appearance, so if Tony wasn’t going…then she had to. Pepper was sure that Tony would tell her that wasn’t true, but she’d been working with Stark Industries long enough to know what really needed to happen.

“What’s the use of having a second husband? Plus,” Tony said. “You can make him do whatever you want…”

Pepper shook her head at him as she sat on the bed and he undressed. She could see how tired he was, exhausted and worn. She knew that he really needed that day off. “That’s not true.”

“You could ask him to jump off a bridge and he would… The Hulk would keep him from dying, the big green guy’s handy like that…”

The Hulk. They hadn’t seen him in such a long time. They’d figured out how to kill off whatever Killian had introduced to Bruce’s system and he’d tested to make sure he could Hulk out. Since then, there hadn’t been any need. Bruce had been living the closest to a normal life he’d had in some time. 

“You’re impossible, you know that?” 

Tony beamed at her as he removed his button-up shirt. Pepper moved from the bed and approached him. She ran her hands down his bare arms and hugged him. It was so nice to be home again. She rested her head against his back and took in his scent. She often wondered how she’d gone a year without his touch, scent, banter, or smile. It was so hard to think of… Though, she really did try to keep from dwelling on all those months…

“You love me,” Tony reminded.

He turned in her arms, so that he was facing her. He kissed her and she returned the kiss. His hands moved down her sides and to her forming belly. Tony ran his hands over it and she just smiled. It was nice having Tony be able to share in the pregnancy experience with her now even though he’d missed it with Sophia. It sort of evened things out… 

“I do,” she told him and then kissed him again. She smiled brightly at him. “I love you so much…” Pepper held tight to him and pressed her head against his chest. 

Tony ran his fingers through her hair. “You’d tell me if I wasn’t spending enough time with you, wouldn’t you? I know I’ve been busy…”

“I see you for hours every day,” Pepper told him. “I just wish I could help you more…take some of the weight off of your shoulders,” she continued as she ran her hand down his chest. She really did wish she could, but she knew that she couldn’t…not yet. She hated it, but it was how things needed to be. At least for now. 

“You help me by being alive…and still loving me,” Tony told her. “And eventually…things will change… Just not now.” He ran his hand along her tummy again. “You know, we could bring in Agnes… If it would ease things for you…make things more comfortable… Since she’s familiar…”

They’d discussed this before. She was worried that having Agnes around would bring back the nightmares at full force. She didn’t think she could bear that. Bruce had also brought it up. They’d both thought it was a good deal since she didn’t want to hire a ‘professional nanny’. She just didn’t want strangers in their house. 

“Tony, you know—“

“Why not have her out to visit? She loves Sophia… We could do it for a couple of days and you could just see how you feel,” Tony pitched. “I’m just saying…”

“Sophia goes to daycare at Stark Industries—“

“What about the baby? What about at home? Sophia’s not going to even be one when the baby’s born… I’m all for the three of us tag teaming the kids, but I think it wouldn’t hurt to have some more help…”

And he was right. She knew he was right. They’d even talked about Happy moving in, but they hadn’t wanted to complicate things with Happy being upset with the relationship they had. It wasn’t just them. It was them and Bruce… And Happy didn’t know that Bruce was the biological father of the child she was carrying. She just hadn’t felt like she could tell him, maybe she wasn’t completely healed yet… There were some things she just wasn’t ready to share… She was sure that Agnes wouldn’t care though…or at least Pepper hoped she wouldn’t. 

“Okay…” she agreed. “For a few days… Just to see…”

“I’ll call her up and have her flown in,” Tony told her.

“She might not even want to help.”

“She doesn’t really have anything else right now.”

Pepper looked up at him. “How do you know?”

“She and I have talked… She calls and checks in on how things are with you and Sophia…” Tony told her. He shrugged. “I didn’t want to upset you…”

Pepper knew that he was looking out for her, but she hated that he’d kept it from her, even if it was so minor. She wasn’t made with him though. She just hated that they couldn’t be truthful fully with each other, but she knew that it would come in time. She might not be broken, but she still had her fragile moments. “I know,” she whispered. Agnes was really the closest that any of them got to that lost month where Agnes cared for Sophia. 

“I just want you and the kids taken care of,” Tony told her.

She beamed at him. “Did you ever think that you’d be worrying about me and kids?”

“No,” he said honestly. “I never thought I’d get married in all honesty…”

“You’re a good husband…and father,” she told him. Pepper held him tight and knew that she was so lucky. He was loving and understanding. He was fierce and a protector. He was brilliant and driven. He was devoted and dedicated, to not only his family but to Stark Industries as well. He was downright amazing. 

“But you’re a better wife and mother,” Tony countered.

Pepper looked up at him with a bright smile on her face. “Flattery may get you everywhere, Mr. Stark.”

“That’s what I was hoping for, Mrs. Stark…”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	17. A Growing Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so hopefully this isn't too fragmented or confusing. There's time jumping. It ended up taking longer for my brain to write certain parts...but it is a little longer! One more chapter and then on to other things!

“Are you sure?” 

“Why do you always ask me that?”

“Because you always ask me that too.”

“That’s fair.”

This was going to be the first time that she was going to be leaving Sophia alone with Tony. Bruce was going with her to the gala and Agnes would be there in just a few short days. Pepper still wasn’t sure how she felt about how everything would work out, but she just kept reminding herself that this was like a trial run. Nothing was set in stone. Nothing.

Pepper held her dress in place and then walked over to Tony and turned. “Zip me up?”

“I’d rather it be—“

“On the floor?” she finished with raised eyebrows and some amusement in her voice. 

Tony zipped her up and sighed. “I guess that’s a little bit of an old line…”

She laughed. “It is…”

“I obviously need new material,” Tony mumbled and then kissed her neck. “Maybe…you could stay in…”

Pepper turned and smiled at him. “You promised you’d be fine with Sophia tonight,” she reminded. “If you’re not…”

“I will be,” he said.

She walked over to examine how she looked in the mirror. Pepper turned to the side and ran her hand over her belly. She was thankful that even though she was showing that she still looked nice in the dress. It was a deep purple and her hair was pulled back in curls that hung down her back. At least she had good practice with her heels, so it would make it an easier night as far as walking around was concerned. She also had Bruce. He’d make sure that she was fine and he’d be far less trouble than Tony would be, though she wouldn’t tell Tony that. 

“You’re breathtaking,” he whispered from behind and kissed her neck. “I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have said that Bruce could go with you tonight…”

Pepper grinned and stared at him in the mirror. They really were lucky. So far, things had gone smoothly even though they didn’t have a normal relationship exactly. Things were good, though. She wasn’t scared anymore. She knew that they had a future, even if it was three adults…together in a relationship. It was unique and she was just happy that Tony hadn’t shown any blatant jealousy towards Bruce. 

“You’re so sweet, but you deserve a day off,” she said as she turned to stare at him. “I hope you have fun… Sophia should be good enough that you can tinker…”

“Oh, don’t worry about us,” Tony told her. “We’ll have fun though… I promise no explosions or anything dangerous…”

“I would hope not,” she responded and kissed him. 

“It’s going to be fine, I promise,” he told her again. “Come on, let’s go check on Bruce… Make sure he has all the buttons in the right holes… He probably doesn’t even know how to tie a bowtie.” He grinned at Pepper. “Though you always do it better.”

“I have had a lot of practice,” Pepper said with a smile. She took his arm and they headed out to look for Bruce. She wondered if there would be a lot of questions, but Tony had already told her that no one would think anything of it. 

“There he is!” Tony said and waved his hand out towards where his friend was standing. 

Bruce was dressed in a tux with the bowtie and everything. He looked so much different than he did everyday. It wasn’t that dressing up made him better; it was that he just looked so much more sophisticated. He definitely looked like he belonged in their world. Pepper moved from Tony’s arm to look over Bruce. She checked his bowtie and then brushed the imaginary lint from the shoulders of his jacket, just like she always did with Tony. “You look great,” she told him. 

“Are you sure about this?” Bruce asked her. He ran a hand along her arm and pulled her close before kissing her temple. 

“I’m fine,” she told him. “I just don’t know how long I’m going to last tonight.” And it was honest. She had no idea if she was going to last an hour there or the whole night. The event would go on though even if they had to leave within two hours. She’d make her rounds and she’d have Bruce there to make sure everything was okay.

“I’ll make sure that she doesn’t overdue it, I promise,” Bruce told Tony before Tony could say anything. They were both so protective and lately they knew what the other one was going to say in regards to her or finish sentences. Sometimes it was scary. She was glad that at least they weren’t fighting though. And Bruce was there. 

“Better not,” Tony replied seriously.

Pepper sighed and looked between them. “I have no idea what to do with you both.”

“Love us,” Tony offered. 

Reaching out, she grabbed Tony and pulled him in to a kiss. “I do love you…” she told him and he kissed her back in return. For a moment, she was lost in his kiss. His forehead rested against hers for a minute. Tony wrapped his arms around her and she closed her eyes and just loved the moment that they were together. Pepper reached out and pulled Bruce to them. She opened her eyes and turned her head and kissed Bruce. “And I love you…” Bruce’s arms wrapped around her and she knew that she couldn’t feel more loved than she did right now. 

“Pepper? You ready?” Happy’s voice called.

She tensed and looked up at Bruce and immediately felt guilty for what she was about to do. Pepper took a step back from him and out of his arms. He didn’t look upset, but she still felt bad about it. Happy came into view when she turned and she hoped that he didn’t see anything. She felt horrible, but they were really trying to keep things a secret between them…which really was a lot harder than it should have been. 

“Tony, why aren’t you going to this thing?” Happy asked.

“Spending time with Sophia,” Tony told him. “She and I never get to have any daddy/daughter bonding time.”

And it was true.

It wasn’t often that Tony was alone with Sophia and he’d missed a couple months of Sophia’s life so far…so it seemed like it was a good idea…even though he’d be tinkering most of the night. It would be good for both of them…and for her...

 

. . .

 

“I don’t like you with him,” Happy said. “I know he’s your friend…and Tony’s friend…”

“Happy—“

“I don’t mean to be judgmental or anything, but how can you live so closely with him? You’re married to Tony, but you almost spend more time with him.”

Happy was making her head spin. Pepper didn’t know why he was so upset about Bruce being in their lives. She spent time with Tony, but Happy wasn’t there all the time. He never saw how she was with just Tony…but then she wondered if he knew how she was with Bruce…how sweet and gentle Bruce was if Happy’d understand. 

“Can we not do this again, please?” Pepper requested. 

It had been months since Happy had brought this up with her. She’d already received the ‘you shouldn’t be working’ lecture from him. She was at the end of her pregnancy and she’d been feeling fine. The doctor had said that everything looked just fine with her child. She had wanted the gender to be a surprise, even though she swore it was driving everyone else crazy. The stress Happy was putting her under though really wasn’t making her feel too great though.

“I’m just saying that it’s not good for you and Tony or even for the kids…” 

Pepper ground her teeth together and let out a low hiss as pain hit her. She swore that she was pushing it, but she wasn’t about to say anything. She’d felt some pain at the office, but she’d thought it was nothing. Now, she didn’t know. “How far are we from the house?” Pepper asked suddenly, far too overwhelmed to look at the window and do a calculation herself.

“Traffic…so probably thirty minutes,” Happy said.

A groan escaped her lips and she tried to find a comfortable position in the backseat of the car. “I don’t know if I can hold on for that long…” she whispered. She was suddenly terrified that the baby was coming. She didn’t go through this was Sophia. She’d been thrown around and had started to bleed. Agnes and Bruce had delivered her via a rough c-section and her doctor hadn’t been sure if she could even deliver naturally. 

“What’s wrong?” 

She was too focused on breathing and wishing the pain away to answer.

“Pepper?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered and looked up to see him looking back at her. “The baby might be coming… I don’t know…” Panic was spreading through her and she was trying her best to stay calm.

“What do I do?”

“Tony should be here… Bruce,” she whispered and looked down at her belly as her hands ran over it hoping to soothe the baby. Pepper unbuckled her seat belt and tried to make herself a little more comfortable in order to still the pain. They weren’t moving and she knew it was dangerous still, but the seat belt really wasn’t helping her. 

“I’m going to pull over,” Happy told her. “And I’m calling Tony… Maybe we can get a helicopter or something to fly you to the hospital…”

All she wanted was Bruce and Tony. Bruce would know the medical stuff and he always kept her from panicking when it came to it. Tony would be there as a comfort and for the experience that he’d missed with Sophia. Either way, it didn’t seem right to her. “Happy…” she said and then screamed as the pain surged through her.

He was talking on the phone, that was all that she knew now that they were pulled over. She wasn’t focusing on what the conversation was or whom he was speaking to…all she knew was that none of it was helping her. And then Happy was out of the car and opening her door on the passenger side. “You need to be here… I can’t do this,” Happy told whoever was on the other side of the phone. And then the phone was being handed to her. “Tony wants to talk to you.” Happy looked absolutely horrified as he kneeled there.

Pepper took the phone and screamed again. She’d tried to keep the speaker away from her, but she wasn’t sure how successful she’d been. “Tony?! Tony…I need you…”

“I’m here, Pep,” Tony said.

“I don’t know what’s going on—“

“I need you to listen to me, Pepper… Bruce is here with me and we can’t get there right now, but we’re going to try to help from here if we can.” 

“How can you—“

“Get your phone out and dial Bruce,” Tony instructed. “Give it to Happy.”

Pepper whimpered and retrieved her phone and dialed Bruce before handing it over to Happy. “Okay,” she whispered with a cry. “Tony…I need you… I need you here…”

“I’m going to be there, Pep,” Tony promised. “But Bruce needs to know if your water broke?”

“I-I-I don’t know…” 

“Okay, okay…just stay calm… Bruce is talking to Happy…” Tony told her.

She looked over at Happy who looked even more terrified. “Happy?” she asked as her voice broke and she screamed out again. 

“I can’t…I can’t…” Happy repeated.

“Pep, are you still there?”

Pepper tried to focus on Tony’s voice as she breathed. “Yes.”

“Bruce says that Happy’s saying that he can’t do what Bruce needs him to do. You need to tell him it’s okay. I can’t say that I’m too thrilled about it, but Bruce says that it will help us to know what’s going on,” Tony told her evenly. “You need to lay down and let Happy use your phone to let Bruce see if you’re dilated…if the baby’s really coming…”

It wasn’t exactly something that she was thrilled about, but she knew it needed to be done. She hadn’t been too thrilled to let Bruce examine her at first when she’d been held by Killian, but it had been necessary and if he were there she’d be comfortable…but Happy? 

“Pepper?”

“I know,” she whispered. Pepper knew that she needed to adjust her positioning too. She couldn’t be sitting up in the seat. “It’s okay, Happy,” she said quietly as she moved in her seat so that her feet slid out the door for a moment. She reached out and touched his arm. “You can do this,” she said calmly.

“Pepper…I just—“ Happy mumbled.

“You have to do it,” Pepper told him firmly. 

“No.”

“Are you going to risk me dying or the baby?” Pepper asked and then screamed again. She gripped his arm tight and then moved to remove her panties and to lie on the back seat. Her heels were already off, she always slid them off since she’d hit the six month mark while she was seated whether it was in the car or at a desk. 

“Pepper…stop…I can’t…”

“You’re going to do it, Happy, because I know that you would never do anything to endanger me or my baby…” Pepper told him confidently. She tugged at the skirt of her dress, pulling it up before she drew her legs up and open. She closed her eyes and just tried to concentrate on breathing. Pepper held the phone up to ear and just hoped that Tony could keep his promise…that he would be there. “Tony?” she whispered.

“I’m here, Honey,” Tony’s voice lit her up. 

“I’m scared…”

“Bruce says that you’re going to have to push.”

“No.”

“Pepper—“

“Please,” she begged.

Suddenly, Bruce’s voice filled the car. “Pepper, I’m going to talk Happy through how to deliver the baby.”

“The doctor said that she wasn’t sure that I could deliver the baby this way,” Pepper argued. She started to cry. “I need to be in the hospital… I need a doctor… I need you…and I need Agnes…” Suddenly, having the c-section in the poor conditions she’d been forced to have Sophia in didn’t seem so bad. At least then she had a doctor and a nurse that she knew what they were doing. She trusted Happy, she did, but this was a lot. 

Agnes had come to stay with them for a few days and at first, Pepper had told Tony that she didn’t want Agnes there as any kind of ‘live-in nanny’ or whatever. She’d changed her mind a couple of days ago and Agnes was due to arrive in the morning. At least she’d been there to help with things. That would be a relief, she knew. 

“Tony?”

Silence.

Tears streamed down her face and panic flooded her. She didn’t want to do this alone… She knew Happy was there, but she needed someone there that was there just for her. “Tony? Please talk to me…”

“Pepper, you need to push the next time you feel a contraction,” Bruce’s voice commanded.

“I can’t,” she cried and let the phone drop from her hand. She turned her head and let the tears fall. She didn’t want to do this without Tony. Pepper heard Bruce starting to talk when the back driver’s side door was opened and Tony slipped in. He carefully lifted her head and set it in his lap before pulling the door shut. His lips pressed against her forehead and tears were finally from happiness. 

“I’m here, Honey…” Tony spoke quietly.

“You need to push, Pepper,” Bruce’s voice spoke.

Tony took her hands and lifted her into a slight sitting position. This time when she screamed, she pushed too. She squeezed Tony’s hands, not caring if she was hurting him or not. Right now, it really didn’t matter. She was solely focused on getting the baby out. 

“You’re doing great, Pepper…”

“I can see the head!” Happy announced. 

“You’re going to catch the baby… That’s all you have to do, Happy…”

“Catch it?!” 

“It’s going going to come flying out!” Tony told him.

Pepper cried and then screamed again and pushed through it. She really wanted to tell them all the shut up and to focus on this right now, but she didn’t feel like she really had the strength. She was using the time in between to breathe. 

There was a slight sound between panic and fear that escaped Happy. “The head’s out… Oh God… I can’t do this! I can’t!”

“Happy!” Pepper snapped. “If I can push the baby out, then you can catch it!” 

“Just take a breath,” Tony told Happy. He looked down at her. “Breathe, it’s going to be okay…”

“Shut up!” Pepper snapped at him and then screamed again and pushed. She cried out for a moment and then pushed again. She was going to have words with all of them later… 

“I think just one more,” Happy said. 

She screamed and pushed again and just hoped that that was it and it was all over. Pepper struggled to catch her breath and let her head fall back as she stared up at Tony. A baby’s cry rang out and they were all laughing and crying at the same time. She forced herself back into a somewhat sitting position to try to see her baby. 

“It’s a boy,” Happy announced and held up her baby boy wrapped in his jacket. 

Pepper held out her arms for her baby, but also noticed that the umbilical was still attached. “The cord…”

“It doesn’t have to be cut right now,” Bruce announced. “Just be carefully not to pull on it.”

Happy finally handed her her son. She beamed down at him. His eyes were open and staring up at her. He was small, but not nearly as small as Sophia had been. He had hair and Pepper was sure that it was brown, unlike Sophia’s red hair. “He’s perfect,” she whispered. She leaned her head back and looked up at Tony. He looked so happy… His lips pressed against her forehead and she just couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. She turned her attention back to the baby in her arms. 

“An ambulance should be nearly there,” JARVIS’ voice announced via Pepper’s cell phone.

 

. . .

 

“Where’s Tony?” 

“Down in the cafeteria,” Happy told her.

Pepper had apparently fallen asleep. She turned her head and saw that her little one was fast asleep in his basinet not far from where her bed was. He was asleep too. She looked back to Happy. “Are you okay?” she asked. Everything had been such a blur.

“Yeah…yeah… I’m good…”

“I hadn’t planned on—“

“I’m just glad that you and the baby are safe,” Happy told her sincerely. She watched as he turned to look at the baby asleep in the basinet. “He’s Bruce’s, isn’t he?”

Pepper froze for a minute. She looked directly at him and waited for his head to turn. “Yes,” she whispered and then looked down as tears fell. Worry filled her and she wondered if he was going to just up and leave.

“I don’t know what’s going on between you and Tony and Bruce…” Happy started. He was quiet for a long while. “But I guess as long as you’re happy…and the kids are okay…that I really can’t complain…”

She looked up at him and he was looking at her. Tears fell down her face as she continued to stare at him. “What?”

“Did you think I would hate you, Pepper?”

She shrugged. Pepper had thought of all kinds of things that could happen, she just didn’t want to lose one of the few true friends she had. “I don’t know…”

“I just wish you could have told me this earlier… I probably wouldn’t have sounded like such a jerk…”

Pepper smiled a little bit. “You meant well…”

“So, you and Tony are okay?”

She nodded. “Of course we are…”

“How is this all going to work then?”

And he needed to know. He was their security. It wasn’t just Stark Industries, but her family that he was concerned about. “Tony and I are married…that’s how it has to continue in the press. Bruce is a close friend.” And really, that was all truth. Her relationship with Bruce was just something in addition to friendship. “Sophia and the baby are both Starks…”

“And Bruce is okay with all of that?” Happy asked, sounding rather surprised.

“He was willing to leave the country and never come back…” Pepper shared. “The only other people who know that the baby is Bruce’s are Agnes and Natasha…and I don’t think either are going to say anything. It’s dangerous… They hunt Bruce down even if he’s not a mindless Hulk… They would come after my son if they knew… I won’t let that happen…”

“No one’s touching this little guy,” Happy said as he glanced at her son for a moment and then back to her. “I get it… I do… The kids need to be protected…because let’s face it, even with ‘Stark’ as their last name…they’re still in danger.”

Pepper smiled at him. She was glad that he understood. “Thank you for understanding.”

“Speaking of Stark…where is he? He just went down to get coffee…”

“You sent him alone,” Pepper reminded. “Dangerous.”

“Yeah, no kidding…”

As if on queue, the door opened and Tony peeked in. She smiled. “You knew we were talking about you…”

“Of course,” Tony teased before opening the door and walking in. “The nurses were giving me a hard time…”

“Why?” 

“I was trying to smuggle more people in… Apparently they have a limit of people they like in the room,” Tony said and opened the whole way to reveal Bruce with Sophia. “But I got them in anyways.”

“Sophia! Bruce!” Pepper beamed. She held out her arms for Sophia. She missed her little girl. She’d wondered who was watching her when Tony had flown to be with her. Of course, Stark Industries had daycare, but she hated leaving Sophia there for too long. Bruce handed Sophia to her and kissed Pepper’s temple. 

“You doing okay?” Bruce asked.

Pepper nodded in response as she stared down at Sophia and then gave her kisses.

“The media is already outside,” Tony said as he closed the door and shoved his hands into his pockets. “PR is going to want to release a statement as soon as possible.”

She knew that. They’d really been trying to be as ‘honest’ as possible in front of the world. Everyone had known she was pregnant from the moment that she was showing and she knew that they’d also have to fudge things and say that her son was premature. Otherwise the numbers just wouldn’t calculate correctly. They didn’t want or need the scandal. 

“I can talk to the doctor about talking to the press, if you want,” Bruce offered. “Just something like ‘Mother and child are both doing fine.’ And then something else too… Maybe you should just go out and talk to them…”

“I don’t know about that,” Pepper said looking directly at Tony. She knew the situation, but at the same time…Tony could get carried away and wouldn’t stick to note cards. This was one of the times where he needed to say exactly what was planned out. 

“Why don’t I go and just tell them that you guys are doing fine. That we’ll speak to them later about the press being able to meet the baby? Like we did with you and Sophia? Maybe it’ll keep them appeased?” Tony suggested.

“When did you become so reasonable?” Happy asked.

Tony shrugged. “I’ve been working on it.”

“I suppose we should give him a name… You could tell the press… Maybe that’ll help things,” Pepper suggested as she looked over at where her sleeping son lay.

“We haven’t discussed it.”

Pepper shrugged. “I guess I didn’t know how you two felt about names…” She saw the odd look she was getting from both Tony and Bruce and she remembered that they didn’t know that she and Happy had had a talk. “Happy knows…”

“I’m not dumb you guys,” Happy spoke up.

“I thought about names…I just haven’t said anything…”

“I’m really not too worried,” Bruce said. “Something he won’t get made fun of later…”

“Does that mean we can’t name him Pilot Inspektor or Jermajesty?” Tony teased with a smirk. “No seriously… Bruce is right… We’re lucky we have such normal names…” He shuddered. “I don’t even want to think of the bizarre things my parents could have named me… Like Howard Jr.”

Pepper grinned. “You don’t like Tony Jr.?” she teased.

“Let’s be kind to the kid…”

“How about Henry?” she asked as she looked at them. 

“I like Henry,” Tony told her. 

“Henry Anthony Stark,” Bruce suggested.

She looked from Tony to Bruce and then back to Tony. “Your middle name is your uncle’s name,” she reminded.

“Are you sure about this?” Tony asked Bruce. She could tell that he was almost asking permission. This was Bruce’s child, after all, possibly the only child he may have. It was important and they needed to keep from upsetting one another over things that could have been avoided by speaking up.

“What I said before is still true,” Bruce said. “Henry needs to be protected… He needs to be kept safe… And most of all, he deserves to be apart of a family where he’s not treated any differently than Sophia…” He shrugged. “And why wouldn’t I be okay with giving him my best friends’ name?”

Pepper smiled. She was glad that this was going a lot easier than she’d expected. She appreciated keeping her stress level down, she felt like that might mean that she could go home on time. “Okay,” she whispered. “Henry Anthony Stark it is…”

“You know…even though in the public you’re Mr. and Mrs. Tony Stark…that doesn’t mean that your home life has to be so…normal… Bruce, you could still be a dad,” Happy pointed out. “I was reading an article.” Pepper watched as Happy picked up a ‘Parents’ magazine. “It talks about how there are all these mixed and blended families and all the different versions of ‘mom’, ‘dad’, ‘grandma’, and ‘grandpa’ that you can use… Just, you know…something to think about.”

“He has a point,” Tony said.

“Tony—“ Bruce started to argue.

“He does! Would it really be that horrible if Sophia and Henry had a mother and two dads? I mean, we’re pretty awesome…and genius…”

Pepper just smiled and looked down at Sophia. She’d let Tony and Bruce have that conversation. She didn’t think it would be a horrible thing. In fact, she was sure that the kids would benefit from having two ‘dads’ and that it might make home life a little less confusing for them. They’d just have to be taught how to speak in public when they got older. That really wouldn’t be much of a problem.

“Oh…and Agnes is on a plane… She’ll be at LAX at nine tonight,” Tony spoke up.

“I’ll make sure I pick her up,” Happy said.

“I’ll go too,” Bruce volunteered. Pepper looked up to see Bruce looking over at Happy. “If…if you know, that’s okay…”

“I think that’s a good plan,” Happy said. “I think you and I need to talk anyways…”

“Go easy on him, Hap,” Tony said as he slapped Bruce’s shoulder. “Pepper likes him… I like him. We really all like him.”

 

. . .

 

TBC...


	18. A Future I Didn't See Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this story is MASSIVE. For those of you who don't realize how many pages of this story I've subjected you to...it's 198. Nearly 200 pages!!! This is the final chapter and I'm hoping that everyone liked it! AO3 is allowing me to write different stories that I wouldn't have normally been able to write on ff.net. I'm hoping that my exploring different things that I wouldn't be able to write is coming through clear and not too crazy/dark/incorrect. I really do try!

Things went so much smoother with Agnes at the house. She was a Godsend. She really was. She made Tony and Bruce leave when they started to be too much for her to deal with. It wasn’t just helping with managing things or taking care of her or Sophia and Henry. Agnes fit into their family so well and she was such a comfort. 

“You know you should still take it easy,” Agnes told her.

Pepper smiled at her. “I know… I promise I’m not pushing it. You should come with me,” she told Agnes. “Except we don’t have two strollers…or a double one…” 

“Take Sophia, I’m sure she’ll love to get out... Henry will be fine with me for a little bit. You go on your walk… I’ll go with you next time,” Agnes told her sweetly.

“We’re going to have dinner at six,” Pepper reminded.

“I can make something, if you like,” Agnes volunteered.

“Actually, Tony’s going to bring home dinner, if that’s okay… It’s a place that he’s been wanting to take me to. He finally decided that it would be better if he just brought it home and we had family dinner. I made sure to remind him to order healthy food though,” Pepper told her.

“Good,” Agnes said. “I worry about him… I sent him to work with a lunch…Bruce too.”

“You’re an angel!” 

Agnes smiled at her. “It’s nice to be needed!”

“Well, I don’t want you to work, work, work…” Pepper told her. “I want you to feel like you’re more part of the family than some kind of servant.”

“I know you do…believe me, I’m just happy to have some purpose,” Agnes told her. “Now, you go on…”

Her walk was relaxing and though she’d wanted to do more, she’d kept from pushing herself. She knew she needed to work up to it. Pepper wanted to work off the baby weight though; by the time she went back to work she wanted to fit into her regular clothes again. She knew that Agnes would say that was pushing it and Tony would say she fit into them…she wanted to look the same in her clothes though. She knew it would take time, but she wanted to keep active. 

When she got back to the house, she found Agnes rocking Henry. Since Agnes was there, they’d moved things around a bit and Pepper wasn’t exactly used to it yet. Both Sophia and Henry were sharing a room down the hall from her room. She wasn’t too thrilled about that. She liked having them close. But both Bruce and Agnes were close by in case they needed to be there for the kids. There was, of course, a baby monitor which gave her audio and video access to their nursery. Besides the rocking chair in the nursery, they’d also gotten a more plush one in the common living area, which was where she’d found Agnes and Henry. 

“How was your walk?” 

“Good,” Pepper said with a smile. “Though I can’t wait until I can do more.”

“Give it time.”

“I know,” she said as she looked around, Sophia was on her hip. “Tony and Bruce home?”

“Not yet, but they called and said that Happy would be joining us,” Agnes reported. “I didn’t know why he wouldn’t in the first place… He’s family, isn’t he?”

“He is,” she replied. Agnes hadn’t been there long, but she already knew how everything worked and where everything fit into their special made family. It was probably why Agnes worked so well with them all. 

“How are you doing? Really?” 

“I’m fine,” Pepper told her as she moved to the couch with Sophia. She took a seat and set Sophia in her lap. “I really am… I guess I just sort of miss working…and I miss being able to push myself…”

“You’ll heal faster if you don’t push yourself.”

“I know.”

“What about with Tony?”

“He’s just so exhausted… He wants to help with Sophia and Henry so badly, but he’s CEO of Stark Industries… It’s a lot… I’m afraid that he’s wearing himself thin and I don’t want him getting sick.”

“That’s really the last thing we need in this house,” Agnes told her. “Sickness can not go around with these little ones, especially Henry…” 

“That’s why I’m worried too.”

“Maybe we should call the doctor in the morning and see if he advises us all to have any shots in particular,” Agnes suggested. “Perhaps he’ll have some kind of preventative treatment for Tony…just to make sure that he doesn’t get sick.”

“The car containing Mr. Stark, Doctor Banner, and Mr. Hogan are approaching,” JARVIS announced. 

“I’m going to start setting the table,” Pepper told her as she got up with Sophia. 

“I can do it,” Agnes said quickly.

Pepper shook her head. “I’ve got it…” It was nice doing normal domestic things. It made things feel more normal. There was something so gratifying about normalcy. Sophia was in her highchair while Pepper set the table. She knew that they could just use plastic utensils and paper plates, but even if it was take-out it was just so much more special with the real thing.

“Honey, we’re home!” Tony said as he strolled in carrying a bag. 

Pepper smiled at them. Bruce was right behind him carrying two bags and Happy was trailing farther behind. Tony kissed her and she was glad that he at least seemed to be in a good mood. She removed his tie for him and kissed his cheek. Her hand trailed down his chest. “Why don’t you take off your jacket and make yourself comfortable? Dinner will be all set in a few minutes.”

“Okay,” he said slowly.

“Great lunch, by the way, Agnes,” Tony said as he headed for the bedroom.

Bruce helped to set out the food before moving towards her. She reached out and ran her hand along his arm. Even though Happy knew, whenever they were in front of him, Bruce always seemed less comfortable with displays of affection towards her. She leaned in and kissed his lips just the same and smiled at him. “How well did Tony behave today?”

“I made him take a break from paperwork,” Bruce told her. “He spent the time building paper airplanes…”

Pepper smirked. “I appreciate you making him take a break.”

“There’s just so much paperwork,” Bruce told her. “The company’s grown so much in the last several years…that’s why… Tony didn’t understand it, but I finally figured it out. Stark Industries ended up with a lot more paperwork when it stopped making weapons for the military. It’s sort of ironic.”

“Well, hopefully I’ll be able to assist with some of the paperwork load soon,” Pepper told him.

“Don’t you dare push yourself,” Agnes spoke up.

She and Bruce both smiled at Agnes’ response.

 

. . .

 

“I know you’ve had a hard time, Sweetie…” Agnes said sympathetically. “But when you felt like the world was ending because of what Killian did to you, did you ever think you’d end up here? With all of this?”

“No,” she whispered honesty as they stared down at Henry asleep in his crib. 

The nursery was painted a bright yellow and there was a white crib on either side of the room with brightly colored letters that spelled their names above their respective cribs. There was a white wooden light blue upholstered glider with matching ottoman. There really wasn’t a cohesive theme. Sophia’s bedding was all flowers and butterflies, pink and yellow and purple. Henry’s bedding was robots, blue and green. 

So much time had passed… A year ago, she had no hope. She’d thought that she’d lost her life and all control. Pepper would have never believed that she’d be home with Tony…that she’d have two beautiful children whom she adored…and that Bruce and Agnes would both be living in Malibu with them. 

“I’m so blessed,” she whispered as she continued to stare down at Henry. “I really do have everything…”

“We all are,” Agnes said as she put her arm around her. “You may not believe in Him, but let me tell you…I do. I believe that God never gives us more than we can handle…and as much as it might not seem like we’ll be able to make it…it’s always to show us just how strong we are and how bright the future is.” She smiled at Pepper. “You, Sweetie, are the strongest person I know… I am so lucky to have been able to come into your life. To be part of your journey. I love that I get to be part of this family right now.”

“You have no idea how much comfort I take in knowing that you’re here…that we don’t have to have a stranger in our house… That things don’t have to change,” Pepper told her. Being famous had its cons like people who gave out information and pictures to the media that should be private. She also hadn’t wanted to change how things were in the house. Her relationship with Bruce and Tony was a secret and with a stranger in the house, they’d have to change things. She didn’t want to do that. It wouldn’t be fair to any of them.

The future was so might brighter already.

Pepper knew now that things really were going to be better tomorrow. Her kids were going to grow up safe and happy and loved. That’s all she had ever wanted. 

 

. . .

 

It was one of the nights where they’d all ended up in bed together. Tony seemed to get more and more comfortable with it every time that they were all three together. It was months after the doctor had given her the okay for sexual contact; she’d made sure that she’d gotten on birth control and it had had enough time to hit her system. Not that she didn’t want another child, she had actually thought about it, but she really wanted to wait at least a couple of years. Having two under the age of one was really difficult. She was okay with ‘practicing’ though.

“I feel like we need some kind of plan,” Tony spoke up.

Pepper giggled. “You can’t be serious…”

“I don’t want to accidentally grab something that isn’t yours,” Tony responded quite seriously.

“What do you expect? A run down of how everything should work?” Bruce asked.

“Might be a good plan.”

Pepper sighed as she removed her panties and her bra on her own and threw them out of the bed. “All of this talk is getting so old,” she complained. “I thought we were going to actually do something physical rather than just talking…” 

“Don’t we need a safe word or boundaries?” Tony questioned.

Instead of answering him, she turned to Bruce and started kissing him; his hands were immediately on her bare skin. He was gripping her hips and pressing himself against her. She knew that Bruce wasn’t about to join in with Tony on ‘planning’ things. Pepper figured that everything would just work out and if there needed to be some sort of communication, it would happen when the moment demanded it.

“Starting without me, I see how it is,” Tony mumbled a complaint as his hands trailed along Pepper’s spine.

She rolled so that she was on her back for a moment and pulled Tony in for a kiss. She didn’t want him to sudden feel uncomfortable or left out with how things were. This was far more than just kissing or being close or sleeping in the same bed together. Pepper didn’t want there to be any problems, not so soon after starting. Tony’s kiss was becoming so eager and she pulled back for a moment to catch her breath as she stared at him, but then suddenly she was moaning. Bruce had his mouth on her breasts and a hand was on her other breast. Her nipples were feeling so hard. Tony pulled her back in for a kiss and his hand traveled down below her belly button and between her legs. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to compete now or if he just really wanted to get things underway.

Tony’s fingers didn’t wait for anything, they already had her wet and one was dipping into her. He started a slow rhythm and found herself being rolled so that her back was to Tony. He withdrew his finger just to spread her legs and add two more once she was in the new position. Bruce was still paying his full attention to her breasts, which was just making her hotter and hotter and wetter and wetter. 

Pepper could feel that they were both hard and ready and wondered how long they would wait before trying anything else. She moaned and Bruce moved his mouth away from the nipple he’d been sucking quite dedicatedly. One of his hands remained on her breast though, squeezing and playing with her nipple. His mouth though suddenly moved down to assist Tony. He licked at her folds and made circles around her clit.

“Bruce… Tony…” she gasped as they continued to work. She felt Tony’s other hand move to her other breast and squeezed. Tony was upping the pace and Bruce wasn’t taking a break from exploring her with his tongue. A louder moan escaped from her mouth and she started to squeeze her legs shut as she felt herself getting closer. Tony moved his hand from her breast though and held her leg in place as the pace picked up even more. 

Tony’s lips were on her shoulder and he was whispering into her ear. “That’s a girl, Pep… Just let go and let us do the work…” 

She’d been the one to start it all and Tony had seemed reluctant, but now here he was whispering words into her ear trying to make sure she was getting the most out of their encounter. It was just something slightly new and different. No one wanted to get hurt in any way because of it. Pepper felt herself hit by intense pleasure and her whole body started to shake a bit, her back arched, and she found her hips bucking. Tony held her close to him carefully with one arm across her chest. 

“Tony! Bruce!” 

Her walls clamped down around Tony’s fingers, but he kept moving within her. Once her body relaxed and his fingers could easily slip out, he withdrew them and kissed her shoulder. Bruce was kissing her and his hands were exploring her body. Pepper’s hands were on him and she moved to kissing his neck, but then Tony’s hands were rolling her towards him. 

“Don’t worry, I hadn’t forgotten about you,” she whispered to Tony. Pepper’s fingers ran through his hair as she stared at him. She could feel Bruce pressing up against her from behind. She suddenly wondered if Tony had been right and they should have planned it out. She trusted them though; she just would rather not be unprepared.

She felt Tony grinding against her and moaned, she knew that he was definitely rather to go farther. His lips were on hers and she felt suddenly like she couldn’t breathe, the kiss was so deep and full of passion. Pepper and Tony separated and he settled her back on her back on the bed between him and Bruce. Tony was rustling in his nightstand drawer. Using condoms was something that they’d discussed and all of them had agreed. They’d all agreed that they really didn’t need another child running around the house just yet. 

Tony was handing not only a string of condoms, but a bottle of lube to Bruce as well. “I really don’t think I need this many…” Bruce told him. 

“Put them in the other drawer…eventually we’ll use’em all,” Tony replied matter of factly.

Pepper watched the exchange of looks. Tony just seemed amused by it all. She reached out and ran her hand along Bruce’s arm. She looked into his eyes and could tell that he wasn’t sure about things. She didn’t know if he wasn’t sure about what they were about to attempt or if he was having second thoughts. “Bruce?”

“I’m okay,” he whispered and leaned down to kiss her. 

“You sure?” Tony asked. He rolled her back to him, so that she was facing him and she couldn’t see Bruce’s face anymore. 

“I said I would speak up if I had a problem,” Bruce responded.

“I don’t believe you’d do that,” Tony argued. He didn’t seem too worried about a response though. He leaned in and kissed her, his fingers through her hair, and his body pressed tightly to hers. Tony moved her leg so that it rested over his and he pushed himself even closer until he was slowly entering her. 

His pace was slow and steady and she suddenly felt Bruce running his hands along her spine. Pepper became worried that he wasn’t feeling included, but his fingers were soon replaced by his lips. He was kissing up and down her spine. Pepper shivered at the touch of his lips and Tony started to speed up his pace a bit. She felt so torn between concentrating that she just allowed herself to completely relax and take in all the pleasure they were showering her with. Tony brought her close; she could feel her body just on the edge, when Tony pulled out. 

“Tony…” she whispered in a whimper. She hadn’t been ready for him to stop when she was so close. Pepper pressed her body towards his, wanting him to continue.

“Time to broader your horizons, Pep,” he whispered and leaned in to kiss her. “You let us know if it hurts or if it’s too much…” He kissed her again. 

Bruce kissed down her spine and then she felt his fingers at her cheeks, they were covered in lube, one pressed into her. He was slow and gentle. It felt different and she tried to adjust to it. Tony was making himself busy, she didn’t know if he was supposed to be distracting or if this was something that he read somewhere or just had life experience with. He was sucking her nipple, one hand on her other breast, and his other free hand was lightly playing with her clit. Bruce moved slowly in and out of her for a few minutes and then added a second finger. Bruce continued and Pepper had to admit that it was a different sensation, though she didn’t know how she was going to be able to adjust to them both inside of her at once.

Tony lightly used his teeth as he continued to play with her nipple. She moaned and threw her head back. She really could get used to being the center of so much pleasure and love. Bruce slowly pulled his fingers out and she found herself missing him even though she knew it was only going to be brief. Tony licked her nipple before moving to the other one. His hand move away from her clit and for a moment, no one was touching her below the waist. She moved her hips, Pepper wanted them so badly now. 

“Tony… Bruce… Please…” she whispered, practically begging them.

She was sure that Tony was loving it. They’d taken her to the edge and then stopped, though, and on top of that…he’d played with her and worked her closer once again before both Bruce and Tony had stopped. She was about to start begging, but then Tony’s lips moved from her breast and moved down her stomach. Bruce’s hands came around and covered her breasts. She could feel him, hard against his cheeks. She pulled in a deep breath and tried to remind herself that she needed to relax.

Tony quickly forced her into relaxation. His mouth was on her clit and his fingers were inside of her. Tony was working her back towards the edge and then suddenly Bruce was pushing ever so slowly into her. She moaned and then gasped as Bruce entered her, he stopped and her body adjusted. 

“Keep going,” Tony instructed.

Pepper moaned again, she wanted them both so badly and Tony was making this a lot easier even though it was a tad bit frustrating. Bruce pushed into her further and then stopped again, she felt a mixture of pain and pleasure. The pain didn’t outweigh the pain and so she remained quiet. Tony’s mouth on her pushed her over the edge and her hips moved forwards and then backwards, her back arched, and she let out a loud moan. Bruce was completely inside of her now and neither of them moved. She could feel Tony’s fingers inside of her; he felt so close to where Bruce rested inside of her. Pepper moaned again, this time quieter, Bruce’s hands started to move now. He was massaging her breasts and pinching her nipples. 

The sensation of Bruce moving inside of her was far different. She felt like lightning was spreading through her with every movement, every thrust. Pepper moaned every time. She reached out and ran her hands down Tony’s back. This was just making her want Tony even more. 

“You ready?” Tony asked as he moved away from her clit and straightened to look into her eyes.

Pepper leaned in and kissed him, she could taste herself on his lips. She moved her leg up over Tony’s hip, letting it wrap behind him. Tony was slow and she noticed that Bruce had slowed the pace he’d started. Her body tingled and she couldn’t stop the moans that escaped her. Soon, they both worked up a rhythm in tandem and the room was filled with grunts and moans. Pepper started to scream out their names as she felt an overwhelming wave of pleasure overtake her. 

She heard Tony and Bruce moaning, but then someone was laughing a low laugh just before Tony’s lips covered hers. His kiss quieted her scream and contained how loud she was becoming. Tony and Bruce didn’t stop, though. They were slowing, but it wasn’t quite over. Her body was hit again, full of lightning and pleasure and so much that she felt like her nerves in her body couldn’t contain it. 

 

. . .

 

“We don’t have to get out of bed, right?” Tony asked.

“Some of us have already been out of bed,” Bruce countered.

“I got up to use the bathroom.”

Pepper shook her head and rolled her eyes. Tony was really impossible some times. “I didn’t think I was going to get up when I needed to get up for Henry.”

“Which time?” Bruce asked.

“All of them.” She wondered if maybe they were going at this too quickly. Henry really wasn’t that old and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to be sexually active, which led to exhausted in a good way, and getting up with little ones at all hours. Bruce had gotten up twice with her, but it wasn’t the same.

“I told you we should have planned things better,” Tony pointed out. 

Pepper and Bruce both sighed. “I think I’m too exhausted to get up,” she said and then she could hear cries. She knew it was Henry, which meant that Sophia would most likely be up in her crib wondering why her little brother was screaming his little head off. Pepper closed her eyes again and rolled over onto her side to cuddle up against Bruce. 

“I guess I could let you two sleep longer…and I could get up and start the coffee,” Tony said as he got out of bed fully naked. He started off towards the bathroom. “I’ll get Henry, just let me go to the bathroom…”

And then suddenly the screaming stopped.

“Agnes beat you to it,” Pepper told him.

“Well, I’ll make the coffee,” he mumbled before the bathroom door shut.

Pepper didn’t care. She’d thank Agnes later and she just hoped that the walls were as soundproof as Tony made everything else. She really didn’t want to walk around on ice all day or filled with embarrassment if they, well mostly she, were loud enough that she’d heard them. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Bruce whispered.

Pepper could feel herself blushing. “Last night…was beautiful,” she whispered. Her eyes were still closed and she was cuddling up with Bruce in hopes of sleeping for a bit longer.

 

. . .

 

Going to the beach was a normal thing for them. They didn’t have to go too far. The kids loved it and there was something for everyone. She just wanted the kids to play while she got some sun. They had been so busy with Stark Industries that she didn’t feel like she had gotten enough time to relax. 

Tony set up the umbrella and started to spread out the towels. He was good at it and he tended to like to stay with her up by the umbrella either tinkering with plans on a tablet or just watching the children play. It was nice and relaxing that way. The kids were both old enough that they knew ‘no’ and knew the rules while they were at the beach. 

Sophia and Henry ran off together down the beach. “I’ll stay with them,” Bruce said before setting off after them. 

It wasn’t often enough that they had times like this. Normally when they went out, they were all dressed up. It was a nice change to be in bathing suits and have the ability to relax. The kids could make sand castles and they didn’t have to worry about being photographed. This was their private beach. Tony had made sure that there was a very small beach house behind them that they mainly used for the bathroom and for changing in. On rare occasions, they’d use the patio area for barbequing. They always stayed well in the middle of the private beach area and the kids never went too far that they couldn’t be seen. 

“It’s beautiful today,” Pepper whispered as she sat down on the towel. 

“Best kind of day to take the day off of work and school.”

The kids came running back towards them with Bruce in tow. They were giggling and so full of life. They came crashing into her arms and Pepper beamed. “I thought you were going to play for a bit first?”

“We have to have sun lotion,” Sophia reminded.

“And I need my surf board,” Henry added.

“It’s just a kickboard,” Tony corrected.

“That’s what I said,” Henry argued.

“No it isn’t…”

“Yes, it is…”

“Okay you two,” Bruce spoke up.

Pepper was already spreading the sunscreen over Sophia. She made sure that she covered all of the showing skin along with right underneath the edges of the bathing suit and finished with taking care of her exposed part. 

“Thank you, Mom,” Sophia said with a grin before picking up the bag of sandcastle making equipment that they’d brought down to the beach.

“You next,” Pepper said to Henry.

Henry sighed. “But…I want to go play.”

“You don’t want to get burned,” Pepper told him. 

“But Papa doesn’t have to have any,” Henry complained further. “And Daddy doesn’t have any either…”

“We just have to put it on last,” Tony told him. “None of us want to be burnt…”

“Red isn’t my color,” Bruce added as he took a seat next to Pepper. He took the sunscreen bottle from her and motioned for Henry to come to him so that he could apply it. “Sooner it’s done, the sooner you get to play in the water…”

Soon, the whole family had sunscreen applied and the kids were off and running. Sophia went along with Bruce and Henry down to where they were on boogie boards and kickboards, the boys were in the water and she was up on shore building her sandy kingdom. They were far enough away that they couldn’t hear every word that was being said, but close enough that they could see what was going on. Pepper and Tony stayed up by the umbrella and just relaxed. 

 

It was warm, but there was a breeze. The sun was shining from high above, warming her skin. Pepper was stretched out in her suit on a towel on the beach. She had sunglasses on and was suddenly enveloped by comforting arms. She rolled onto her side and smiled at Tony and his beaming smile. Her hand trailed down his bare chest as she leaned in to kiss him.

“Mom! Mom!” Sophia yelled.

“Always interrupting,” Tony mock complained.

Pepper smiled and sat up. She turned until she saw the pale little girl running towards her, her scarlet locks were neatly braided into two braids, and she was clad in a purple ruffle swimsuit. Her blue eyes shone and freckles adorned her face. Bruce was trailing behind Sophia. The little girl launched herself at them and kicked up sand as she fell into their arms. Pepper and Tony wrapped Sophia up in their arms. 

“There’s our girl,” Tony said. He looked up at Bruce and held out an open arm to him. “Come on, are you really going to let a girl beat you back?” he teased.

Pepper held out her arm as well and felt the biggest rush of emotion hit her. Happiness. Joy. Comfort. Love. Unconditional and Unending. It was so special and so perfect. It was something that she’d never experienced before…that kind of love. She knew that she was safe and that she was loved and that nothing could change that… 

“Can we go home now?” Sophia asked. “You promised that we could eat mango!”

“I do remember that,” Bruce spoke up.

Pepper could see Sophia grinning even in their embrace. This was her family. These were the people that she would do anything for—

“Mommy! Daddy! Papa! Wait!” Henry called. His dark brown hair was an unruly ruffled mess on top of his head, which resembled Tony and Bruce’s. He had Pepper’s bright blue eyes and her freckles. 

This was her family. The five of them. This perfect, yet complicated, American family. Pepper still hated that they couldn’t be out publicly as a ‘family unit’, but at the same time, it seemed to make their relationships more special. It was Tony and Bruce and Pepper and their children, Sophia and Henry. They still had Agnes and Happy and even Rhodey, but today it was just them. This was the family that she hadn’t dreamed years before that she’d ever have. It still sometimes felt like a dream to Pepper. Sometimes it was just all too perfect. 

They all sat down on the towels together, the toys they’d brought weren’t far but were now long forgotten. Henry and Sophia quickly started to explain what they’d been doing and had wanted to show both Tony and Pepper what they’d missed, even though they’d been able to see them both the whole time. 

 

. . .

 

Even though life changed for them, constantly it seemed sometimes, they made sure that they didn’t let life get ahead of their lives. Their family. Their family was everything and was the reason that they all did what they did. It was the reason that Bruce’s component in the relationship had been kept a secret. 

“Good morning, Ms. Potts.”

Pepper smiled as she entered her office area at Stark Industries. “Good morning, Marilyn.”

“Good morning, Sophia…Henry…”

“Morning, Marilyn!” Sophia and Henry replied in tandem. The two Stark children followed her, backpacks on their backs, into her office. 

Pepper’s office area of Stark Industries had been added on. It was close to the daycare and afterschool childcare center. Stark Industries had become very big on providing quality childcare along with keeping kids close when they could. Pepper’s office actually had a room that it was connected to, it was basically the kids’ room, and it was connected to Bruce’s office. So, if she needed to be in a meeting with someone, she could close the door and Bruce would be able to keep an eye on them. It was a win win really. 

“Do I really have to work on writing my name again?” Henry asked exhaustedly as they entered the kids’ area.

The kids’ area was bright and spacious. There was a reading area with a large wall full of age appropriate books, two tables and chairs, play area, and a snack area. “Your name isn’t that hard,” Sophia told him.

“You’re older than me,” Henry told his sister. “And your name is easier!”

“You only have like one or two extra letters in your whole name,” Sophia told him. “If you just write Henry Stark, then our names are the exact same length.”

Pepper opened the door to Bruce’s office and peeked in. He was working on his computer, but not busy. He tended not to have meetings, which made it even nicer. Bruce was much better at doing the paperwork and e-mails. He usually got into ‘meetings’ when it came to the bigger ones that involved elaborate presentations. Then, Tony and Bruce would basically tag team it. Bruce had been there two hours already, but he smiled up at her like he’d just arrived. “Hi,” she said with a grin. “How’s it going?”

“Okay,” Bruce said with a shrug. “I caught a couple of miscalculations and sent them back to Tony. He wasn’t very happy with that, but better than finding the mistake later and it costing the company.”

“Good work,” she congratulated.

“They arguing about their names again?” 

Pepper nodded. “Henry doesn’t think he should have to practice writing his name.”

Bruce got up from his desk and moved towards her. The nice thing about their offices was that no one bothered them without buzzing in and asking for permission, unless it was Tony. So, they had almost complete privacy. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her once he was at her side. He looked in at Sophia and Henry. Sophia was in the corner working on silently reading a book while Henry was glaring at a piece of paper.

Pepper sometimes wondered if the passed on genius-level intellect was a blessing or a curse at this age. They’d introduced educational material early on, so maybe they’d just really kick started it. She knew all about Tony growing up, though, and all the milestones he’d reached with his father. It was published in history. She really didn’t care if they were reading yet or writing their names, but it was nice to know that they weren’t struggling. She knew that Henry just got frustrated. As close in age that Sophia and Henry were, sometimes they forgot that Sophia was a little older.

“Just remember, if you don’t make sure you write your name all over your papers, then Sophia could take credit for them,” Bruce reminded.

“Papa, my name is so long!” Henry complained.

“It could have been longer…”

“Mommy has lots of names,” Sophia pointed out. “Right?”

“I do,” Pepper said. “I have two completely different names.” Everything that was legal was Virginia Stark, while everything else was Pepper Potts. She couldn’t let go of Pepper Potts, Pepper had been given to her by Tony and she’d just been so used to her name… Pepper Stark just didn’t quite sound the same. “The more you write your name, the quicker you’ll be able to do it in the future, I promise…”

“I really just wanted to play with Papa or Daddy in the lab,” Henry said.

“No lab time today,” Bruce spoke up. “We’re both doing computer work… But you can come into my office and sit with me if you like.”

“No,” Henry said with a huff. “Sophia promised that we could play a game once I finish this.”

Bruce smiled. He kissed Pepper again before fully entering the room. He dropped a kiss on Henry’s head and ruffled his dark hair. He looked down at the paper. “You’re getting better every day with your letters… The ‘e’ is backwards, but that’s easy to fix. All the right letters are there.” He moved over to see Sophia and kissed her cheek before peeking at her book. He headed back towards Pepper. “No Agnes?”

“She’s going to come in to pick up the kids in a couple of hours,” Pepper told him. “I think they’re going to go to the aquarium or museum.”

That was enough to get both of them motivated and it would give them something to look forward to. Agnes got to spend breakfast with her and the kids before she’d leave for Stark Industries and then she’d have some time to herself before spending time with the kids or taking the kids out for an educational and fun trip. Today was a fun trip kind of day. 

“I should go finish up my e-mails,” Bruce said and kissed her again.

Pepper beamed at him. “I suppose I should go leaf through the stack of paperwork on my desk.” She reluctantly headed back across the kids’ room and back to her office. At least it would be a slow morning, so she could spend time with the kids during her ‘break’ times. It was something that she loved about how things worked now. She could be a mom, but still work full time at Stark Industries. With Tony still as CEO, Bruce as CTO, and Pepper as CAO Stark Industries was at the best it’d been since the company had been launched. Things ran smoothly and morale was remarkably high. Stark Industries was actually working on changing its name to Stark International since they’d grown so much. Stark Industries wasn’t just a US company; it was worldwide and bringing better things everyday to the world at large.

This was a future that Pepper never had seen coming. She was so happy, so lucky, and absolutely blessed with the family and flexibility in her job that she had. If someone had told her when Killian had her that this would be her future after everything she suffered through at his hands, she wouldn’t have believed them for a second. But good things happen to good people, sometimes you just really have to wait and let things fall into place. Pepper had found that the patience had at times been the most trying part of it all.

One thing was sure.

Her love was never the same.

She was a wife to two men whom she absolutely adored and loved. Her love for Bruce was never the same as the love she felt for Tony. Pepper didn’t know how to explain it aloud in words. Pepper was mother to two children whom she would give her life for. Her love for them was never the same as the love she had for her husbands. 

She loved four people with all her heart and soul and her love for them was never the same as the love for the others. That’s just how it was. She loved each of them differently, unconditionally, and with all of herself. 

 

. . .

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last story to the "Memoria Damnum" series is the next work I'll be posting! Hopefully soon as I've already completed the first two scenes and have it roughly outlined! It's called "Incontendo", so keep an eye out for it! I'll post an update on my blog soon enough! I think there are two other story requests/suggestions that have been thrown out there that I can work on afterwards. If anyone else has a request/suggestion, please let me know! :D 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


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